Sunday, October 12, 2008

TITAN VISITING: THANOS AT MADRIPOOR

THANOS came to Jeremiah today. Said he needed a drink. Time was, THANOS was awesome. Some wise bartender put on this clip for the Madripoor faithful. Unlike when that Gray Hulking Dude came to town, no one thought of running for their lives. This is Madripoor movie night THANOS special:

Even a god need a job in an economic downturn. Last time Marvel went bust, Thanos was project manager for a house clearing re-development. Give that titan a broom and he sweeps almost everyone out. Time later, when marvel/dc got tired, Thanos was the interior re-designer...of a cosmick kind. He re-arranged all the furniture and anyone sitting on them sofas were re-decorated. House of M? You got to be kidding, Thanos bawled. "Been there, done all that and I got several sequels too!" And the merry titan reminded all who would listen that he got to kick the asses of Thor, Herc, Thing and that Hulk. Bad-ass. Madripoor can only look in wonder. Someone with a bahasa slang dared to ask, "Scarlet Witch? Apa binatang tu?" Everyone wanted to buy Thanos a drink.

Time now, in one of those bad sequels of an economic downturn, Thanos is forced to reprise his brawl with Thor for bread. If you think Mike Tyson was dealt a bad hand in life, the following makes the grown men in Madripoor weep:

Time was, Thanos was slamming the shit out of all challengers in Ipoh. I remembered he had this move where his hands became like this big whammo and anyone/anything below get splatt. Old boxers should never seek a return to the ring. No matter how bad the times. No matter how big the purse. Rocky Balboa you've been warned. (enough of the lousy sequels!!!) Now, leave the titan alone. Let that divine, who hail from a time where comics were the bridge to the infinite cosmic imagination, rest. Let the titan contemplate his death. By the end of the day, that's all a god have. His death.



THANOS: Last heard exiting the pub and heading to the arcades. (no man, no gods should be treated this way! screamed a madripoor REBEL to all who would bother to listen...) (to hell with camus...)


IN MEMORIAM: The one who posted as Screwtape. (Typical exit, not unexpected.) (One last time: Hang tak bersetuju!)

Friday, October 10, 2008

GUARDIAN: ARCHANGEL


Ever wondered why Warren with wings of steel never made it big? Big as in a Wolvie-BIG kinda way? Big in the commercial returns of multipe titles, minis, one shots and the never ending origins? BIG as in even 6 year old kids today can tell you Wolvie first appearance is in Origins (!?) You get my point.
'Ol Angel with wings of death was once upon a time selling X-Factor by the covers when comics was still found in mamak stores. Time was, one have no choice but to buy a comic because of the cover. That was/is still the thrill of comic buying. You'll never know what to expect inside. You have to be analytical, intepretative, highly imaginative and a bit religious to know a comic by the cover. I mean, all you have is a kneeling potrait of Archangel, shielding his eyes with wings shortened. What gives? What was the fear? What did he saw? Who was the nightmare? What was the fear? Was he hurt? Again? There must be more than one assailant, right? Must be another bad mutant, right? That explains the kept wings? Was he hurt? What was the fear? Where were the rest? Time was, one needs a little faith to buy a comic.
Archangel hovering over New York City. I'm sure Puny and Murdock were down there somewhere kicking the shit out of bad muthas doing bad things. Chuck Dixon and Frank Miller were probably down there walking the alleys, soaking in the disease, taking samples of grime, getting a lungful of life in the shadows. Time was, New York City were gloriously inked. Klaus Janson inked. But tonight, Archangel above Al Milgrom's inks, you know somebody is gonna lose their faith. This is superior comic craft, only for the choosen. And those who don't mind getting re-educated in used-bookstore...
I pulled up X-Factor #47 from this box of forgotten things in a used-bookstore. That was a few days ago. Today I open the pages from a time where Archangel was a death sentence from the skies, to the bad guys and divine rescue, to those cornered. The pages cracked. There was a noticeable water mark on the upper pages. Coffee? The center staples were rusty and almost not there. So the pages cracked. In the cracked pages I saw a familiar sight of a man of religion, holding the attention of a group of children who don't know better. Most of the kids have no where else to go. There were offered salvation in the name of a place to stay, a group to belong and a voice that will lead. Time was kids have faith. Faith in their innocence for a life that can be useful to others. Time was, one can be a god if they can harness such a lie. Faith is the hook that many lives have succumb to. In the name of a lie, many a religion got made.
"Look upon her children...and learn! This is the fate of all who betray our union! We all must forfeit our selves for the higher perpose of the group! Betray one and you betray all!"
-Father Philip
No. Not tonight. Tonight in ink city some kids are gonna escape from their faith. And Archangel is gonna unleashed his wings...
Ever wondered why Archangel never got his own series? Kids will lose their faith.
BETWEEN THE DARK AND THE DAYLIGHT, WHEN THE NIGHT IS BEGINNING TO LOWER, COMES A PAUSE IN THE DAY'S OCCUPATION, THAT IS KNOWN AS THE CHILDREN'S HOUR.
-HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

Thursday, October 9, 2008

EPIPHANY: SIGHTINGS OF SAINT CLAREMONT

PROLOGUE: I was with Saint Claremont last week. Yes, THE Saint Claremont. I bumped into him while hunting for the Punisher. (!)

EPISODE 1: I heard Puny was getting ass-wiped by this medicated undead dude. It’s not often you see Puny ass-wiped. Blame the MAX series for the glorified macho bull shit. Time was, Frank Castle got ass-wiped. Time now, I still get wiped. It was a bruising week. Imagine a rugby game where you are up against Juggernaut, Deathlok, Savage Hulk and other such bruisers. My kinda week. So I recovered to a comic shop where I was told superheroes gathered. No spandex guys seen when I entered but this sour she-receptionist who looked like a science experiment gone wrong. My futile attempt to convince undead comics shop staffs that there exist trade paperbacks of ass-wiped Puny by Jim Starlin was rewarded with – “There is no such title.”

Exit comics store.

a refuge from morons

EPISODE 2: Claremont & Puny. In a used-bookstore. Now, why is that a damn fine idea? Every kid born today should be infected, when still in primal state, to have an addiction for used-bookstore. Used bookstore. Heaven for those who have lost hope. Junk shop for those who have no idea. I was in several such bookstores last week. That there is where superior comic craft and other such stuff are found. Many hopeless grunts have become educated because they once stood inside one such store. And got educated. Education. They don’t come like they used to. Now yews is expected to pass dem exams for the sake of passing dem exams. Time was, yews fall in love with the adventure of finding out education for yourself. That there is true education. That there is also Claremont and the sainthood of comicdom. Saint Claremont had a simple goal in mind when he writes comics: "To enjoy the book and the characters." TO ENJOY. Now why is that so rare these days? Why do comics readers of the Kino type mutate so badly that even an Ellis X-title pale like Kitty Pryde’s shadow compared to their exercised-moronic-quotient. (EMQ – the new assessment tool for today’s moron. Also usable to test yesterday’s moron’s. Can be kept for testing tomorrow’s morons also. Discard after a moronic encounter.) (EMQ - Be suspicious of anyone with a B. Sc [honk!] who can’t help but remind everyone he likes, dislikes or slept with that he is has a B. Sc [honk!]) (EMQ – “There is no such title”) (EMQ = MORONS!!!) But enough. TO ENJOY. Comics, as Saint Claremont espoused are superior-crafted stories that readers will ENJOY much. Especially rare finds inside a used-bookstore. Beyond the intellectual musings of storylines and stylized art, Saint Claremont preached the simplicity "To enjoy the book and the characters."

INTERLUDE:
To savour the discovery of a comic just because its hidden inside the boxes. (Batman, a Joker story with poster inside.)**

To relish the yellowed pages of a single issue Punisher (War Zone #1!!!) that is no longer in print. Did I say Embossed cover? Embossed cover!!!**
To pull out a long lost X-Men Archangel singles and be teleported to apocalyptic heavens because the story links to the latest Angel mini. (!!!)

To laugh silly at Wolvie #7 & #8 because Buscema thought Madripoor was Chow Kit and Fixit was from Ipoh. (Comic of the year!)

They don't draw covers like they used to!

EPILOGUE: "Every issue is a delight, in no small measure because it looks to me like the penciler himself is having a helluva lot of fun. Better yet, impossible as it sounds, each issue is better than the one before." – Saint Claremont

* Parents, send your kids to used-bookstore if you don't want them to grow up morons.

**Hey Fats, your copies on the way.

Friday, October 3, 2008

IN THE SHADOW OF MARY 3: A MEDITATION

Meditatio Divina



Sanctorio Communio

IN THE SHADOW OF MARY 2



One day, in the year of the fox
Came a time remembered well,
When the strong young man of the rising sun
Heard the tolling of the great black bell.
One day in the year of the fox,
When the bell began to ring,
It meant the time had come for one to go
To the temple of the king.

There in the middle of the circle he stands,
Searching, seeking.
With just one touch of his trembling hand,
The answer will be found.
Daylight waits while the old man sings,
Heaven help me!
And then like the rush of a thousand wings,
It shines upon the one.
And the day has just begun.

One day in the year of the fox
Came a time remembered well,
When the strong young man of the rising sun
Heard the tolling of the great black bell.
One day in the year of the fox,
When the bell began to sing
It meant the time had come for the one to go
To the temple of the king.

There in the middle of the people he stands,
Seeing, feeling.
With just a wave of the strong right hand, he's gone
To the temple of the king.

Far from the circle, at the edge of the world,
Hes hoping, wondering.
Thinking back on the stories he's heard of
What he's going to see.
There, in the middle of a circle it lies.
Heaven help me!
Then all could see by the shine in his eyes
The answer had been found.

Back with the people in the circle he stands,
Giving, feeling.
With just one touch of a strong right hand, they know
Of the temple and the king.


*No hillsongs in this temple. Thank gawd!

**Only goosebumps inducing live magick. Blackmore. Nuff said.


IN THE SHADOW OF MARY

Saturday. Could be any other day. It doesn't matter.
It's noon. Cloudy day. I am expecting rainbows.
In the garden. With the lady.
In the shadows, with a hymn.
For those who live.




I have often told you stories
About the way
I lived the life of a drifter
Waiting for the day
When I'd take your hand
And sing you songs
Then maybe you would say
Come lay with me love me
And I would surely stay

But I feel I'm growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin' 'round
I guess I'll always be
A soldier of fortune

Many times I've been a traveller
I looked for something new
In days of old
When nights were cold
I wandered without you
But those days I thought my eyes
Had seen you standing near
Though blindness is confusing
It shows that you're not here

Now I feel I'm growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin' 'round
I guess I'll always be
A soldier of fortune
I can hear the sound
Of a windmill goin' 'round
I guess I'll always be
A soldier of fortune

Monday, September 29, 2008

ICARUS: A REMINISCENCE

Time was, you buy a comic because of the cover. At the MAMAK STORE. If you are lucky, you get to strip off the plastic cover and grab an express read before the friendly neighbourhood MAMAK put a choker on skinny necks and bawl, "Yew wan to BUY? Yes, BUY?" These MAMAKS, very persuasive types. Time now, it's hard to even find a MAMAK.

In youth we dream dreams. That I was told. Youth dreams of flight. To soar. To rise. Above. To rise. Explore. To rise. To Live. To be alive. In one such fervour of dreaming I walked into Sultanah Bookstore in Jaybee and read that X-Factor with the Archangel cover. That was my existential entry into the world of X. That Lady in Kino had it easy: Shelves jammed with TPBs, complete collections, omnibus, numbered volumes. Heck, she could even engage blokes who look like geeks who sounded like they know what they are talking about for a roadmap to start X-titles collecting. In Sultanah Bookstore, you are on your own. That Fall of Mutant title will be read, left back on the rack, re-read, put back, read again and again and again... till the next X-title shipped in, if at all. For weeks/months I read about the Archangel. The one with the metallic wings and the neuron disruptors. The Walt Simonson image branded into my conciousness. I swore I dreamt of Icarus unleashing those wings on the murderous pack of wolves that tore apart innocents. Tore apart the weak. Tore apart the silent. I saw the wolves shredded and decapitated. I saw the night was bright and the Archangel soaring high.


No rocket science why I grew up hating comics. They never get completed. This also explain why I collect comics the way I do. The exisitential xperience of transitionary comics reading and absurdity of not ever knowing the conclusion struck me a virus I have yet to recover. I became a COMPLETIST. I abhor single issues. There is always an issue that is unavailable. I abhor sequential storyline. There is never any hope of seeing the finale. Heck, one almost always have to start from the middle issues and make his way backward and stumble along forward hoping for the next shipment. That's how I read Fall of Mutants. Bonhoeffer calls it the plight of not having a beginning and not knowing the end.

Man no longer lives in the beginning - he has lost the beginning. Now he finds he is in the middle , knowing neither the end nor beginning, and yet knowing that he is in the middle, coming from the beginning and going towrads the end.

I revolt from this neither here nor there enjoyment of comics. I seek completion as other men seek completion to fulfill a life that is unbearably lived from the middle. No more single title incomplete nonsense. Bear in mind, this was a era before Amazon.com or Torrent or Rapidshare. (apa binatang tu?) Haunted by the images of Fall of Mutants, I seek out X-titles, complete. That was the beginning of the X-over saga and I think I bought them all from X-tinction Agenda till Phalanx Covenant. That was when x-things started to be done to death. Too much of a good thing and the hacks in marvel just wilked the cash cow dry. In a perverse way, Bonhoeffer saw the extent of the Fall of Man that mirror this overt-creatorship of the powers that be in marvel.

Now man stands in the middle, now he is without limit. Now he lives out of himself, now he creates his own life, he is his own creator. He no longer needs the Creator, he has become a creator himself, to the extent that he creates his own life. The Fall really makes a creator out of the creature. There is no possibility of recognizing him in his creatureliness...from this point on no one can make any statement about man without bearing in mind the fact that he is like...God.

I stopped buying comics in 98-99 (?) I remembered selling off Generation-X TPB at a loss to a IT guy who was obviously brain-hacked by marvel. I mean he was buying off every X-titles off the shelves. I was selling off most of the X-titles I had then. Most of them. Except for those 'superior comic craft' that remained in my box. Unfortunately some titles (Elektra) (Meltdown) got into filthy hands of lard. To be exhanged for bread. That is a crime. Filthy.

Then in 2005, the big wave. The massive clear out. Many x-titles got passed on, dumped, traded or I don't know what. Including the one shot Archangel: Phantom Wings by Peter Miligan. And because of wiki, any bloke can mouth off that this title was a Brit-invasion on an X-character by that 2000AD writer which dealt an Archangel story in Peter Milligan's usual surreal way. A Vertigo like story starring Archangel.

Not surprisingly no one ever heard of this one-shot. Heck, who bothers. One, it's an offbeat character form the X-universe. Two, it's a one-shot. Who collects one-shot? Three, it sucks. That according to those who buy their comics by the mainstream flavor. Time today, I called up all the comics shop in town and none of them carry this title anymore. Suppose I should be kicking myself. Sucks. Reason for all the reminiscenes? I picked up a new title on Warren. Another origin title but actually the first one about ANGEL. And I still got the virus. Bought it complete. All 5 issues. Damn.


Them blokes at marvel had/have really lost it. First you kill off every mutant superhero in town, then you start a whole new series. The you you do it all over again. The DC folks thought it was good idea. And started a whole slew of origins title too. I mean how many time can Supes/Capt/Wolvie/X-anybody die and be born again? For the powers that be at marvel, I think this God-Creator thing has been done to death too often, too many times.

*In youth we dream dreams. To take flight. To rise. To soar the skies. Archangel/Angel/Warren namecheck Icarus in the story. Enough reason to buy.

Holy Synchronicity, Batman!

According to the "authorities" (if you believe them), Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. On Saturday, I picked up "Ultimate Spider-Man: Volume 9" hardcover by Bendis. It's a monster-sized 400-page book collecting the final arc drawn by Mark Bagley. At the same time, some holy hindus decided to honour their new deity - Spider-Ganesha! Go figure...

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Balitong With Gays And Geneticists

Saturday. SS2 Mamak with Stephen Jay and Richard. I ordered a double-whammer "burger daging" and a plate of "oh-jian" (oyster-omelette). Stephen Jay was vegetarian so I ordered him some carrot juice. Richard was an omnivore so he got a plate of "chee cheung fun". I kept eating while the two blokes argued with each other about the real purposes and impetus for "natural selection". Interestingly, both of them were really having individual monologues rather than talking to each other but by the end of the evening they were both under the illusion that they had an illuminating debate and managed to convince (nay, won the respect of) each other. I sat there and sniggered. Stephen talked a lot about horses' toes and Richard tried to convince me that there's really no "me" - there's only a bag of genes and I'm the bag. The genes are the real Masters of the Universe (not He-Man or Skeletor) because they've got a thousand million million million years to work their ways on the universe. I smiled. No crisis of identity there. I'm merely a bag just as Richard and Stephen Jay. The real masters are not genes but gas. We're all bags of gas, packets of hot-air - flatulence is our mother-tongue. Allan joined us and I ordered another plate of "chee cheung fun" for him. Allan's gay so nobody talked to him much. But he's a fine fellow to hang out with and I enjoyed his tales about hot anorexic babes in California. It was a belated birthday celebration with some friends. Only that I didn't tell them it was my birthday week. "Oh-jian" uncle also joined us. Told me that he's the most well-known cook in the whole of PJ because he prepares the best balitong, la-la and "oh-jian". He explained that he's now a grandfather (13 grandchildren even) but it's a pleasure to him to continue selling food. Richard tried to extract the formula for "oh-jian" from the uncle. To my surprise, uncle generously provided the recipe but he smugly added - "I can tell you how to prepare it but you'll still not be able to do it like me! You see, I've got magic hands!" Richard started to explain how active genes provided him with those "magic hands" but uncle just sat there with a shit-eating grin. After Richard finished his little lecture, uncle asked, "So, another plate of balitong with extra chili?" Stephen Jay asked what "balitong" was. I told him it was a sort of sea-creature with shells and you've got to be a "sucker" to enjoy it. Stephen Jay wanted to know if it was "kosher" for vegans. I told him to ask uncle. Uncle smiled. He didn't understand what "kosher" meant. He just said, "I make balitong. Extra chili. You sure like." Like? Stephen Jay loved it. Allan too. He's an especially good sucker. All good gay-boys are. It's an ability endowed by gay-genes.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

OOPS! WRONG FIGHT!

i was at Uncle Bob's a while back. Entering his bat-cave was akin to a walk in comics archives wonderland. And it doesn't hurt (that much) that Uncle Bob still think he's hot in that small bat-tee. The previous post has shown the dangers if one is not careful in Uncle Bob's danger room. La Tey is still passed out after the zoo encounter. I think he needs a good laundry too. So, back to comic archives. Hulk.
The hacks at Marvel just can't leave a cash cow alone. Every single bar brawl will be repeated to death till every single moron dollars is in the pocket. Case in point: the sweetie Hulk vs the grunt Logan. I was told by a raving fan who was once also known as the IPOH HULK, of this bash-up by Peter David/Todd McFarlane. While the David/McFarlane Hulk was a classic, the Ipoh version's infamy was tearing down cupboard doors. But I digress. So, at Uncle Bob I seized upon this Hulk/Logan brawl in the Canadian maple forest. The one with the grunt's head hidden inside the fist of Hulk:
The six-parter with maniacal cover art by the bastich of maniacal graphics, Simon Bisley. (!) I am going to have another epiphany...

I really think you should floss bub...

WRONG. The rumble in the jungle turns out to be a lemon in the world wide web of comics reviews. Among the continual-stylized faction of Madripoor, this is seen as a one shot out of the timeline, a sidebar tale. In other words,a commercial piece of shite by those who swear on everything green. Another title from Marvel moolah-spawning team-up. Take a winning formula and milked it till kingdom come. Last heard, Hulk is being done a Wolverine. Yet another origin tale...

Here below, THIS is the David/McFarlane Hulk/Logan KA-WHACK-KA-DOOM no holds barred and i-think-your-mother-is-fat, muscle rippin, ligaments snappin smasharoonie!!!!

A good story. That's what the tution teacher preached. It always start with a good story. Otherwise even ephiphanic art will crumble. Words of wisdom. Send your kids to THAT tuition teacher if you don't want them to grow up morons! Hulk says so. (Hang setuju!!!)

Till that Joe-Fixit story get posted by a true green/gray hulkomania fan, this is how a good story panel should sound and it doesn't hurt (not a bit) that the art smashes:

Kids, respect your tuition teacher!


MEETING WITH GODOT

I WAITED FOR GODOT La TEY.
Twice. Each time he had to unload.
La Tey in action

Contrary to popular opinion, Godot La Tey is alive. He looks a bit pale but that is to be expected. I mean how can one not look pale after nipping and tucking? Perhaps that explain the long wait. Anyway, La Tey. Alive and well. Madripoor celebrates.

Time was, it was existentially cool to joke that Godot would actually turn up compared to waiting for La Tey. Today, in a freakshow of abnormal alchemy, La Tey came. Before Godot. (And fully dressed, without any pink gorilla entourage/appendage.) Today La Tey even met Godot at Parklane. Finally they met. These blokes could have been twins separated from birth and none would be the wiser. La Tey said Godot's dialogue were very readable. (!) Godot reminded La Tey he has yet to arrive. Now La Tey will attempt to wait for Godot. We at Madripoor can only hope the waiting won't be that long for La Tey to pen a piece while he waits for Godot.

***

Meanwhile in another part of Madripoor. Things cannot be normal when the planets are so aligned. And that's a good thing. We met OINK. He was buried under Bats. Both the adventures and the legend. A Pltypian sage told La Tey after piecing the bat evidence together that the bits and parts came from Bats: Year One. But enough of Guano! There's OINK!

While La Tey went into fits of laughter, the Sienkiewicz-like art cover was quickly liberated. John Mueller. He of Judge Dredd painted covers fame. With industrial art inside not unlike Simon Bisley. With a storyline not unlike SIN. About a race of genetically engineered porcine-slaves. About the execution of a outspoken comrade. About this homicidal pig hellbent on vengeance against heaven. About rebelling againsts masters and a quest for truth behind the injustice of society. A definite plty-art collection. La Tey insisted it was a pig comic and went into convulsions, frothing at the mouth. That was a little premature. We turned a corner and went to Uncle Bob's. There La Tey met Mice Templar. About these rodents on a crusade. (!) To make the day complete, La Tey was stampeded by the Elephantmen. While La Tey was covered in dust and elephant dung, I remembered Richard Starkings and those elegant lettering from time past in the adventures of that x-couple. I could have told La Tey it was bad karma to laugh at a pig but decided not to. I mean pigs are vegetarian right? Moral of the story: Never laugh at a buddhist. Even if it is porcine. (and no, La Tey will not get to read OINK.) (never)

***

At Jeremiah with a pounded but not stirred La Tey. Smelling of Elephants, Mice and Porcine. He had a caramel machiatto to sober up. I drank my usual brew. Black. Then the ol' canuck decided to make an apperance. Logan! Time was, Logan owns the bar. Heck, Madripoor too. Now he's hardly here. Time now, in the X-world, one Brit is remaking the X-titles look retro with steampunk art and zeppelins. And let me remind the boys and girls out there who have never studied history: Wolverine is Canadian and never Aussie!!! Good grief, today's generations will be the death of me. Next they are going to claim Bats shared the same basement as Ironman....(!) (Believe me, there is already a following) Anyway, Logan back at Jeremiah. Speaking french and growling about a spoilt vacation in Brazil. He proceeded to drink dry the pub. La Tey and myself respectfully observed from a distance. Larry Hama came back from the dead to translate. Time was, every one-shot of Logan goes down like rocket fuel. Short, sharp lines with depth-charge warrior's honor drama. Then some marvel hacks decide to sell on the berserker rage and did that to death. Then some more marvel hacks decided to sell wolvie like wrestlemania and sold-out the sabretooth vs wolvie to death. Then later marvel hacks decide to re-origin the re-origin of the ret-conned origin of wolverine and last heard wolvie is still in origin phase. Time now, the marvelous hacks in marvel has run out of ideas. So, a fresh untainted wolverine story after years of freefall. First the ART. Continental and clean-type-lines not unlike FREAKangels, which means unadulterated from marvel stereotyping. Which means, it's not a bad thing. Logan looks like a bloke. He even got a new soundbite: WOCK! The infamous but done to death snikt only appeared as an afterthought. Good. For once, the fight scenes were mortally human. Dude's arm got slashed by Logan and three bloody slash lines were seen in the next panel on that arm. Damn right. The humour's back too. Logan having a good time. Kicking ass. Getting kicked in the ass. Peppered in bullets and dragged through the streets. Washing up on the shore. naked. Making a call at a publik phone booth. Also naked. The wordless panels are back too. The cameos name check of Elf & Cykes(!) got me smiling. One, a fun-beer guzzling, compadre. The other, a so serious, no-love-lost team leader. This archival trivia! Throw in a storyline of human desperation. Throw in a bit of fantasy. Throw in a an ending where the words are sparse but where the pictures speaks Logan's mind. And you get Wolverine: SAUDADE.


EPILOGUE: I was telling La Tey about a new way to fill in the UGAMA section in employment forms. Now why no one ever thought of it earlier? I mean it is so right to write: "The Death of God" under religion for that is where all basis for beliefs begins. God's Death. La Tey nodded. He said it is novel. A new way to be different. Must be the coffee. Or the elephants. Or both.

Pltypus at Jeremiah. Having a good time. La Tey last seen at the bus stop. Waiting for Godot.



Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Perfect Superhero Movie

I picked up the "Spider-Man 2.1" Blu-Ray edition yesterday. It was perfection. Actually the original movie was perfect. I kept wondering how they were going to improve on perfection. Well, they made the picture crisper (it's Blu-Ray, for goodness sakes!) and they added some extended scenes, more dialogues, additional commentaries and J. Jonah Jameson monkeying around in the Spidey-suit. Like I said, it was perfection.

POTRAIT OF A BASTICH: A LOBO SPECIAL

MADRIPOOR MOVIE NIGHT: After 3 days 2 nights of gray rampage, Madripoor was back in business. So's Jeremiah. A celebration seems appropriate. And nothin is better than a Main Man big screen special. X-rated. You have been warned.



Ho ho ho...bosh!zap!rip!krikk!yank!wunch! (we learn our english from comics.)



No holidays at Madripoor. Every stinkin day is a celebration. Get it?

HULK AT MADRIPOOR



this article was written in ransom. Hulk promised to smash if he doesn't get a page.
For all I can remember, rushing back from Montfort School BeePee on Tuesday was all about zooming in to Channel 5. Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno. The Incredible Hulk. My tv then was b&w but kids of time past could imagine all the colors. That is called superior artistic development. No gamma rays needed. For the life that I remember, I could see colors in most superheroes that existed in that time. Supes was always red. No need x-ray vision to guess. In art class any doodle of a flying man with red underwear was supes. It was that simple. And that colorful. Art was that simple. Time was, even a colorblind bat can tell a guava from a papaya. One such poor sop flew into the garden one night and got socked out of its wits with a mighty slugger. Courtesy of THAT bespectacled high school teacher. The guava was wasted. But the bat was curry. (!) Life WAS that simple then. No elseworld, no alternate realities, no multiverse, no confusion. Flash was Barry. Lantern spandex guy was Hal. Wonder Woman IS Linda Carter. Supes was still the one with the exposed red underwear. We did not bother to know Clark Kent till much later. Didn't I say it was a colorful world? So, HULK. (Gray?) A former Mr. Olympia contestant more recognized for his mental meltdown at the hand of the Terminator in PUMPING IRON, was suddenly the green guy every kid in town want to quote. His lines will be remembered for eternity. Well, at least by every kid in Montfort class 3A to be specific. The lines immortalized till all secret wars are uncovered and all new gods become passe. The lines that will outlive deaths and returns. The lines that will civilized all civil war. The lines that will count beyond 12 or 52. The lines that will be messianic even before it get complex. The lines that will out-Stan and out-Kirby. The lines that will out-Morrison and out-Bendis. The lines that will out-Rucka and out-Loeb. The lines that only the late great Bill Bixby can say. The lines that made Mr. McGee famous for all the wrong journalistic reasons. "Mr. McGee don't make me angry. You won't like me if I am angry!" (Mr. McGee? Apa binatang tu?)
The names check above? Well, If a Gray thing with THUMP on one hand and BAM on the other insist, one must not disagree.
So, back to the present reality. Madripoor thrashed. Evacuated. Haunted. Hopefully Mr. Gray bought only the 3 days 2 nights Madripoor Getaway. Said he wanted the town to remember his 32nd gamma years as the HULK. Man, some people insist on full spread centrefolds. OK, all right. You want it? You got it. Here in Jeremiah, the exclusive HULK GRAY photoshoot. (Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sila perhatian, ada unsur-unsur THOOM, THUMP, BAM, KRAK, WAM, SMASH(!), THA-KA-DOOM dalam gambar-gambar berikut.) (Tidak sesuai untuk anak-anak bahlol di London yang hanya baca tin-tin kosong dan dongeng agak-tak-cuti)
Note to tuition teacher: HULK teaches an alphabet in each title. Betcha didn't know Hulk gave tuition.
HULK in Armani 3 Quarter Summer Casuals

Hulk smiles and lends a hand for Charity.

Hulk advice to ladies: Go for yearly Mammogram

Hulk says short-short hair-do is so cool!


Hulk says use Colgate for Dental Health

Hulk wears Disposable Contacts so should you!

A love remembered. A love lost. A life saved. A life broken. A protective father. A faitthful daughter. A regret. Throw in a psychoanalyst. A rabbit. (dead) An ironman. (half-dead) A cave in the outback on a rain soaked night. I think this is what the continual-stylized faction in Madripoor will term "Soap Opera". The best part in all of this? The one and only time a small font, unbold 'boink' was heard from Hulk's massive hands. That landed on the damsel in distress. A panicky Hulk went into doctor mode and applied first aid. (!) Did I mentioned a whole 7-Eleven store was torn up so that the Hulk can lay hand on a First-Aid box? A laugh-out-loud-centrefold. The coup de grace? An immortal line not found anywhere else, "HULK SORRY". (!!!)

the author squeezed like a pimple, is not responsible nor at fault for the blatant commercialism of this piece.
HULK GRAY: last seen leaving Madripoor, happy.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

MADRIPOOR EVACUATED: HULK'S BIRTHDAY

HULK SO QUER FICAR BU PAZ.
*HULKSPEAK: GET YOUR CANDY ASS OFF MY BIRTHDAY PAGE!


i WILL SMASH THE NEXT PIMPLE THAT CALL ME FAT!

and NOBODY CALLS ME OLD!
HULK: ONLY 32 GAMMA YEARS
(now run for your lives!)


Anal-Retentive Geek-Speak

A recent comment from a casual reader showed that "Classic" literature and comicbooks are mutually-exclusive. You see, I posted some links in my previous entries on Dostoevsky to the Spider-Man Podcast interviews with J.M. DeMatteis. Said commentator (?!?) thought that the links must've been faulty since they link to some Spider-Man fansite! After all, he was expecting maybe some links to the University of Toronto's famous Dostoevsky Studies section or something. Not some cheapo, "kitsch-y" Spidey fansite. Speaking of the Toronto Dostoevsky Studies site, I did download a dozen of so essays from them yesterday. The usual academia shit that makes a big deal "analysing" the novels of the Russian bloke. Lots of pretty pretentious garbage with one or two gems, as is usual among academia. Here at Jeremiah's, we learn our Lit. from comics and our comics from Lit. Sometimes we confuse the two. But that's ok, right?

It's interesting that Pltypus actually joined a comics club [see previous entry]. One of my fondest memory is of him and I standing around in Kino, Singapore. Then this lady came along who wanted to buy some X-Men TPBs for her brother. She must've thought that we looked like geeks or something because she actually asked for our opinions on what to get! Pltypus and I proceeded to give her an on-the-spot crash-course on X-continuity from "Giant Sized X-Men #1" to Grant Morrison's "New X-Men". Thankfully, we did not crash her hard-disk although she looked like someone who was trapped in the Negative Zone after that experience. She picked up a couple of the TPBs we recommended and thanked us for our efforts! Glad to be of help.

Ironically, both Pltypus and I can never really *fit-in* among the masses of general fandom (although Brian Michael Bendis did add me as a "friend" on Facebook!) I think it's got to do with the fact that we generally cannot stand the standard "geek-speak". I was in Kino KLCC some weeks back and there was this bloke who was trying to get his girlfriend into the DCU. He kept explaining how Hal Jordan's history *really* began with the *classic* Sinestro Corps War by Geoff Johns (in 2007). I smiled. Then he went on and on about the glorious Sinestro Corps War. My mind was resisting the urge to grab one of the DC Green Lantern Archives and slap him with it. No. No. NO! It began with Martin Nodell's "Alan Scott" and it went on to the Schwartz-Broome-Fox reboot with the "Hal Jordan" version. I wanted to show him the differences between the elegant art of Gil Kane and the flashiness of today's hack-artists. But I thought to myself: "Ah, why bother?" Most of the time, I had to struggle to stay on as a comic-reader by ignoring the endless chatter (sound-bites?) of the masses. Put in another way, I'm continuing as a comic-reader in spite of its most vocal followers rather than because of them! Kinda like church when you think about it. Haha!

Anyway, it's my birthday today. I'm 32 years young. I'm broke: so no presents. Another long 14-hours workday. Thankfully, Moon Knight is here with me in the office. Besides, I've got another 100+ issues of "Thunderbolts" that I downloaded. Only finished the first 12 issues from 1997-98. Lots more to go.

I JOINED A CULT


I wonder why it is that took me so long to finally get my membership card. Now I have 'superhero' cred and also a membership card to boot. Membership came with great appendage and hair pulling:
Offered a secret underpant (later withdrawn.)
I insisted on wearing it under covers.
ask any stiffs down south who wear their 'comics' upfront as a cred and they will probably tell you X-Men history begans with Messiah Complex.
Offered the club-speak-lingo with all the condiments (failed the oral test.)
I insisted on keeping my P.Ramlee slang...
listen to any stiffs hovering at kino comic shelves and you hear half assed proclaimation of gretaness, "Oh you mean you have not read Sandman? What a shame! What is Sandman you say? Why, Sandman is the guy who put sand in your head when you dream..." (Hang tak bersetuju! - Hang Tuah) (Hang bermimpi? - Mat Petaling) (Hang bermimpi basah? - Mat Translation) (Pakailah kondom cap gajah, tidur enak tanpa was-was! - Mat Chow Kit)
Offered networking with 'authoritative' comics collectors (later disqualified.)
I insisted on reading the reviews at madripoor...
observed any stiffs with their fellow stiffs in a comic shop and you see bats tee, iron man tee, spidey tee. One stiffs rave on spidey, the other stiffs go spidery. One stiffs rave on iron man, the other stiffs get ironed, one stiffs rave on bats, and the rest of the stifs drop guano. It's a flavor of the month network. And it stinks. Both the stiffs and the guano. Always in that order.
Offered links to "our blogs" to paste reviews (later blocked, did not follow the 4 blogging laws.)
I insisted on the cut and paste madripoor school of comic reviews...
read any of the stiffs 'our blogs' and you instantly become a true blue superhero. Spandex optional. No effort necessary. Just use the key phrases "This is the best from so-so-and-so since..." "An outstanding collaboration between so-and-so..." "Never a letdown, signature so-and-so..." "This IS so-and-so!"
Anyway the website don't work, this is the blog. Be a cult member today.
Pltypus, last seen heading for Jeremiah with Lobo & Bats. And a membership card.

Monday, September 22, 2008

DOSTOEVSKY: A TRUE JAP STORY (UNEDITED)


I met Dosty in Kino. Time was, I was still hanging out with Murakami then. I mean these transplanted Japs are nuts. One thinks he is the new-cool. The other assumes he’s the voice of literature. Let me attempt an explanation.

So Dosty at Kino. He’s this typical Jap, balding and crumpled-shirt type with a Siberia backpack. He has the gulag unshaven look down to a pat. He look constipated and as expected unhappy. He was hanging out with Blake and I knew Blake. As I noticed that he has set up camp on the perimeter of all that is Blakean, I decided to get some cheap laughs with that other Jap, the self proclaimed new-cool. But before that, I noticed that Jap Dosty was a engaging a she-student-type-typically-bespectacled. As in all Dosty talk, buffoonery unintentional:
“This IS literature.”
Jap Dosty appealed passionately to she-specs and all that would listen.
“This IS literature.”
Jap Dosty, wild eyed unshaven shaman from the land of the setting sun.
“This IS literature.”
Jap Dosty, I think he’s going to burst a valve if he doesn’t come to a point. Jap Dosty must’ve heard me and implored the she-specs,
“You must EXPERIENCE literature.”
Jap Dosty, what’s your point?
‘This IS literature.”
Hey, sashimi Dosty, Enough already!
Of course by now, Jap Dosty has the full attention of the she-engineered-bespectacled B. Arts(honk!)
“Have YOU read the Notes From Underground?”
Man I tell you this Jap Dosty, this man has all the hooks! Of course she-specs have not read the Everest of literature.
Now the clincher we all been waiting for:
“THE UNDERGROUND MAN. THAT’S ME! I AM LIKE THAT!”

(a…what?) (…gack! * * *) (huh?)

For all the trouble. All Jap Dosty want was a cheap lay. And he had to invoke the Everest of literature to spike his cheap shot. Moral of story? Japanese should not read Dosty. Dosty don’t eat sashimi. Therefore Japs who read Dosty should eat shit and die.

The problem with guys today? They have forgotten how to woo women. So they end up with unnecessary books and way too much introspection against the injustice of society. So they take on the sufferings of the world and wallow in their spite. So they get inflicted with penile erectile dysfunction. Then their he-stock get crystallized. So they start thinking they are the messiah that she-folks of the world has been waiting for. Dream on.

The other Jap. Murakami. The new cool. All he wants is a blow job and a whiskey. Can be in any order. He said so. Many times. In most of all his books. Now you know why Japs will cross the sea of Nippon and traverse the land of Genghis Khan just to transplant themselves in that shit backyard of sub-prime mortgage disaster. All for a blowjob. Now THAT is literature!



Sunday, September 21, 2008

Drunks, Derelicts and Dostoevsky

Coming from a family of sensualists and having a dad who is a walking example of buffoonery is perhaps helpful for a deeper appreciation of literature. Case in point: Dostoevsky's "The Brothers Karamazov". I read the first 200 pages or so of the novel over the weekend and found it a very refreshing experience. Expertly-crafted characters with comically profound (or profoundly comical) dialogue that reads more like expositions. Pages after pages of laugh-out-loud dialogue and irreverent buffoonery. Russian novelists are especially adept at writing about buffoons. Well-known characters like Marmeladov ("Crime and Punishment") and Fyodor Pavlovich here are examples of the art of "buffoonery". I found Fyodor Pavlovich an especially colourful character. Furthermore, he gets the best lines. He can be profound one minute and blasphemous the next. But the reader gets the impression that it is Dostoevsky himself who is having all the fun writing all sorts of nonsensical declarations from the mouths of this fool, this buffoon.

Interestingly, outside of Irish literature, the drunken Russian buffoon is possibly one of the most familiar caricatures of an entire nation. Even Garth Ennis included this in "Mother Russia" with that drunken sob in the pub declaring the demise of Glorious Mother Russia (because of the lousy vodka that he was served). The drunken Russian buffoon doesn't just walk around puking on everyone's shoes. He makes a scene by delivering a long-winded speech on nationalism, church-state separation, the afterlife, forgiveness, the existence of God, the foulness of his own sins, etc. That is what makes the drunken Russian buffoon such an interesting character. It is the dregs of society as philosopher and priest. Drunken mutterings and exclamations as sermons and vodka as the Communion Wine. Dostoevsky, as the prophet of society's refuse, writes best when he gives us polemical speeches by these drunken sods.

Some "authorities" used to entertain the opinion that Dostoevsky wrote his dialogues haphazardly, according to his whims and fancy. Thankfully, this "authoritative" theory was disproved by the discovery of Dostoevsky's diaries; in which was found pages-after-pages of experimental dialogues that he never used. Dostoevsky is such a great novelist because he was a great observer of life. He hung around drinking holes listening to drunks, gamblers and derelicts. Everything that he observed went into that diary of his. That was the seriousness in which he took his craft. Nothing was haphazard or happenstance. He worked long and hard to perfect his abilities writing "buffoonery" dialogues. This was Dostoevsky's art and with it, he bequeaths us a most precious gift - a picture of Russia (or humanity, for that matter) as seen through the eyes of its lowlifes and derelicts.

This is possibly the reason why Dostoevsky's novels endear themselves so much to me. He does not write for the nobles who belong to the higher echelons of society. Nor does he write for scholars and priests. Dostoevsky wrote for the common-man who followed his novels as they were published part-by-part in the local papers. Like Dickens, he wrote as a commoner to other commoners. He did not consider himself so "pure" that he will not "eat and drink with sinners and publicans". More than any other novelist, Dostoevsky's works are meditations on our Lord's declaration that He did not come to save the healthy but the sick who needed the Divine Physician. Reading Dostoevsky, one gets a glimpse of the truth behind the parables that many derelicts and lowlifes will come from the East and the West on that Day and sit in the seats that have been prepared for them but the so-called "sons" of Abraham, the self-declared "righteous" (because of his affiliations to a race, a sect, a university, a church-group, a denomination, etc.) will be cast out.

"Do not be afraid of anything, never be afraid, and do not grieve. Just let repentance not slacken in you, and God will forgive everything. There is not and cannot be in the whole world such a sin that the Lord will not forgive one who truly repents of it. A man even cannot commit so great a sin as would exhaust God's boundless love. How could there be a sin that exceeds God's love? Only take care that you repent without ceasing, and chase away fear altogether. Believe that God loves you so as you cannot conceive of it; even with your sin and in your sin he loves you. And there is more joy in heaven over one repentant sinner than over ten righteous men - that was said long ago. Go, then, and do not be afraid. Do not be upset with people, do not take offense at their wrongs. Forgive the dead man in your heart for all the harm he did you; be reconciled with him truly. If you are repentant, it means that you love. And if you love, you already belong to God... With love everything is bought, everything is saved. If even I, a sinful man, just like you, was moved to tenderness and pity for you, how much more will God be. Love is such a priceless treasure that you can buy the whole world with it, and redeem not only your own but other people's sins. Go, and do not be afraid." - the Elder Zosima assures a repentant widow who murdered her old husband because he constantly beat her. (BK 1.2.4)

Dostoevsky's Lord is the One who, with his last breath on the cross, forgave the penitent thief. Dostoevsky's God has inexhaustible mercy even for the most damning sinner who truly repents. The Elder Zosima's words encapsulates the beliefs of Dostoevsky and we can see this same element reappearing throughout all his works. Dostoevsky's God loves the unlovable, the prodigal, the publican, the drunkard, the prostitute, the adulteress, the blasphemer, the unlovely.

Lofty religionists have, throughout the ages, made it a display of their felicity by proclaiming their love for mankind. These same lofty religionists also do not spare their anathemas when the smallest member of that same "mankind" they claimed to love irritate them in the smallest measure. Their attitude is best explained in the following excerpt:

"I love mankind, ... but I am amazed at myself: the more I love mankind in general, the less I love people in particular, that is, individually, as separate persons. In my dreams, ... I often went so far as to think passionately of serving mankind, and, it may be, would really have gone to the cross for people if it were somehow suddenly necessary, and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone even for two days, this I know from experience. As soon as someone is there, close to me, his personality oppresses my self-esteem and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I can begin to hate even the best of men: one because he takes too long eating his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps blowing his nose. I become the enemy of people the moment they touch me... On the other hand, it has always happened that the more I hate people individually, the more ardent becomes my love for humanity as a whole."– BK 1.2.4.

It is such a joy reading Dostoevsky because of his piercing honesty in his examination of man's deepest motives. Perhaps it is only one who has searched the hearts of man so much who understands man's need for redemption. Perhaps that is why it is so comforting that such a one, who has observed the ugly pretensions of man so acutely, also speaks so much about the availability of grace, of divine forgiveness and tearful penitence. It is no wonder that Russian students confess to being able to retain their Christian faith through the years of Communist rule because of the availability of these novels. Reading Dostoevsky is a deeply spiritual experience.

I'll be 32 years old this Wednesday. Among the things that one picks up as one ages is this loathsome cynicism that is displayed in one's words and attitudes. I look at the underlining, the margin notes, the highlights in this old copy of "The Brothers Karamazov" and I find it hard to identify with the simplistic and naïve "ME" when I first read it when I was 20. Do I really know better 12 years later? Have I really grown any wiser 12 years later? More cynical - definitely. A loathsome cynicism, like I mentioned. Maybe rereading this old novel will help to wipe away some of that loathsomeness - I certainly hope so.

Sitting quietly before Mother Mary does "something" for Pltypus. I have no doubt about that. Pltypus wrote some beautiful entries (when he's not making silly jokes about "fat people" that is - it was only funny for the first 2,384th times he did it!) some weeks back after reading Jurgen Moltmann. He wrote about the crucifixion as the central theme, event, "crisis" (crux) of Christian thought. I think that I'm beginning to see some glimpses of that.

Next stop - Cameron Highlands. Hopefully Gerard is still alive. And Glyn. And Stephen from whichever alternate timelines.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Memory and Forgetfulness

Memories are funny things. Truth is, we never forget anything - just that we don't bother to recall some things is all. Case in point: I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed the writings of Fyodor Dostoevsky. Listened to J. M. DeMatteis talking about "The Brothers Karamazov" in a recent podcast interview (part one and part two). Then I took down my old copy of the novel from the shelves (got this from this convict, Glyn, that I met - Pltypus was there too - in the Father's Guest House, Cameron Highlands). I remembered devouring the novel back in 1996. I was still working at a computer-learning center in Ampang. Just turned twenty (like Alyosha in the book) and naively stupid in so many ways. The book was heavily annotated, underlined and highlighted - I'm rereading it and smile everytime I remember the thoughts of that 20-year old version of me when I look at the portions I underlined/highlighted. In many ways, I don't really identify with that version of me anymore (although I don't think I'm really wiser now!). Anyway, I'm glad that I picked up the novel again. It's a deeply spiritual experience and joy to read Dostoevsky. I hope I never grow too old to forget this.

Some months back, I visited an old man in the Cancer Ward, SJMC. He's in his 70s/80s and was undergoing chemotherapy in the Cancer Ward. We talked about books. He's got a huge library at home with thousands of books. He started reading "the classics" only after his retirement but he never stopped. He doesn't read English so it took him some time to hunt down all those books in Chinese translation. His favourites include Cervantes' "Don Quixote", Gogol's "Dead Souls" and anything by Tolstoy. My wife and I helped him to get the Chinese translation of Tolstoy's Journals and he gave me his treasured copy of Gogol's "Dead Souls". It is a joy to meet someone who's so obviously enraptured by the simple act of reading.

Finally, a toast to Glyn. [Is the bloke still alive?] I remember giving him my copies of "The Idiot" and Tennyson's poems. :)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Stylized Art vs. Sequential Storytelling

Pltypus and I are wired differently. Can't help it. We're just different in nearly everyway (as can be gleaned from our individual postings here). When it comes to comics, he's more likely to pick up something simply because it looks like the below:

As for me, I'm more likely to buy a book because I like the character(s) or story. Hence, my preferred choice would be something like this:

The artists that Pltypus adore are great artists - Sam Keith, Ted McKeever, Jon J Muth, Kent Williams, Bill Sienkiewicz, etc. but my personal preference are for those artists who are comic-book storytellers first and foremost. People like Mike Zeck, for example. Or Neal Adams and the Buscema brothers. Or Paul Gulacy, Barry Kitson, Dan Jurgens, Jerry Ordway, George Perez, John Byrne and Kevin Maguire. Or the Kuberts and the Romitas. I generally don't go for stylized art when I can help it. Truth be told, I usually pick up a book to read without even noticing the art very much until several rereadings later.

Comics are not coffeetable artbooks to showcase an artist's works. Comics are comics first and foremost. The story is all and the best comic artists are those who can tell the story best. I was flipping through the J.M. DeMatteis book, "Kraven's Last Hunt" (aka "Fearful Symmetry") this morning. The artist was Mike Zeck. The work was as beautiful as it was emotional and clear. DeMatteis wrote a deeply psychological story from the perpectives of the characters' inner psyche (Kraven's mad search for honour, Spidey's love for MJ, Vermin's hunger, etc.) Mike Zeck illustrated the external of it while working in perfect harmony to gel in with DeMatteis' monologous caption boxes. In my mind, it was a perfect collaboration and the work danced. In times like these, who needs a movie. The experience of reading a book like that where the writer comes up with a solid story and the artist doesn't step all over it by showcasing his "stylized art" - where the story and the characters take centerstage, well, nothing compares to that. That, my friends, is comic-book magic!

Sam Keith on Batman or the Dennis O'Neil / Neal Adams stuff? I think you know the answer to that one. Stylized artwork does not equal to "superior COMIC-craft". It's simply stylized artwork.

SAM KIETH AT JEREMIAH

It's Friday. Could be any other day. It doesn't matter one bit. At Jeremiah with Sam Kieth. Not a bad thing. But with the KIETH man around, there are bound to be genocide, infanticide, hamidicide, najibdicide, dollahcide, and many such other moronicide. I think it's going to be messy at Jeremiah.

Uncle Bob: The same guy with the mean bat logo tee mentioned in the last post. He saw me lugging Kieth bats around and said he don't like the art. Said bats looks too cartooniistick. Whatever that means. Said uncle said he liked bats neat. Like Neal Adams neat. Told me to buy Dark Victory instead. "The one with the red cover". How can you not like this man? He took a neat look at me and summarized that I liked my comics funny. Lobo funy. How did he tell?! Man, I tell you this guy is a genius! From a time past, from a world neat, where Batman was Bob Kane, please to meet you Uncle Bob. (Now, do us all a favor and change that goddam fraggin undersized mean bat tee!)


Jeremiah fraggin screw all, serves all. I mean Madripoor supposed to be a common denominator for all the scumbags that even crawled right? I mean if Dukes in his leotard can parade in the pub with the latest summer tonga, what else is not allowed?! Good times can only last so long. Just as the soundbites at Madripoor were echoing off, I swore I saw THE pendatang trying to enter Jeremiah...

PENDATANG spotting at Jeremiah.

Not sure if you heard that wolverines are very territorial animals. I mean anywhere where they have pooped or scented, is declareed terra exclusiva only for them who think they are best in what they do. So if for interstellar unknown reasons, this acid-veined, chinese eyed dude with shiny black suit happen to walk into wolverine territory - it's clobberin time! First the accusation: wolverines have been here since claremont so have an undeniable right to claim status. Next the judgedreddment: Aliens with chinese eyes and foul breath dripping with acid are from far and away and will not even be famous 'cept for the space stripping scene of Ms Weaver, therefore aliens are pendatang. Next after next, comes the denial: No, wolverines will not apologize for pooping all over and claiming territory. This is wolverine's unhygienick birthright! There's no arguing against such OXFORD logic.


another PENDATANG spotted

All exposed at Jeremiah. Even Bats. Just because you look mean and have red fur and have a cult following of a different kind in comics-dom, you are labelled. Pendatang. I mean holy leotards, furball here ain't gonna have a Dark series or a Dark movie or a Dark return. Heck, best furball can hope for a is a mini series with 8-pages that ends up forgotten. But you can only hope so much. Furball + sharp teeth + foul breath = Pendatang

ANOTHER PENDATANG SHORTS: Meanwhile down south in SIN-sin land. Another pendatang story. The serangoon gardens 'middle class' snobs sent a petition to the gahmen protesting the conversion of a school to housing for foreign workers. said this will endanger the wimen folks and daughters in the neighbourhood. (say what?!) Them 'middle class' folks swore the influx of pendatang-pendatang into the neighbourhood will devalue the property potential. (again what?!!) Them 'MIDDLE CLASS' folks at serangoon gardens are the powdered momma boys and the pentaksub with their B. Sc (honk!) with their driven cars and their engineered lives.

I stay in a gahmen subsidised flat. Matchbox houses not unlike old puchong. There are no pendatangs in this area. Only your friendly neighbourhood hard workin sunshine type with very tanned skins. Smile...


A danger to women & kids? Moi? Heck, I keep a pet hamster for Pete's sake!

SAM KIETH at Jeremiah. A damn fine bat artist. And don't let Uncle Bob tell you otherwise. Logan, Bats, Scratch, Alien (Part 2?), Venom - having a good time.

***

I am fraggin blasted but (thank-gawd-awfully) at peace with everything. ('cept Hamid & the tuition teacher)



LOBO/COMICS/BATMAN

a great day to be alive
I started work. Again. This is my 2nd week. Enough reasons to explain why Lobo is back in Jeremiah. And as you can see he's havin a greeeat time. I sat in my corner and can't help but admire the main man in action, doing what he do best. Beating the crap out of known, unknown, found & forgotten fraggin pukin pissed face bastiches_____. (Just fill in the blanks who you want minced, diced, maimed. Not necessary in that order. Morons are optional but they make good meatloaf.)

WHY LOBO? Lobo is therapy. Lobo is like snapping the neck off the fraggin bastiches who puking pisses your butts off. That can be your boss if you like. That can be the bloke that work with you. That can be the moron in the comic shop who had never heard of Ted McKeever. That can be the new moron hamid. That can be pendatang ismail. Heck, you can put anybody in the face with the snapped neck. Yes, therapy.

HOW TO BE A COMIC GURU: So I am back in the comics asylum. Time was I bought all my Logan/Wolverine/Patch at this shop in Paradiz Center. Then came came the big wave. Then comics stopped. Time later I caught the X-flu, I bought all my X titles there too. Then time forgets. The Paradiz was a re-de-reformatted. Comics shop a-fragilli-shifted. Then came Borders & Kino. The people got a-fraggin-lazy. Then you can actually be a-Ellis-fragified in a matter of weeks courtesy of Kino well stocked shelves. So much for comics asylum.

HOLY SMOKE! I SAW BATMAN: Time now, I found the shop again. Just one block away from the original location. I knew I like the place soon as I entered. Uncle Bob/Blob at the counter was wearing a batman tee with a mean bat logo. (BLOB + Bat Logo + Michelin Man = Damn fine comics shop owner!) It's always warm to meet real life Mike Mignola's puffy gaslight Batman. Heck, even the tuition teacher is decked in Punisher tee!

Bats Alive! Uncle Blob with the mean bat logo.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum

Dreary morning class teaching Geography, BM and History. Students were in their usual disruptive mode. Nothing I've never faced a thousand times before actually. The problem was really with my own mental disposition. It's got to do with the fact that I did not sleep a wink last night. Weather is so bloody hot that I feel like packing up and moving to Cameron Highlands for good. After the classes, I got into the usual wranglings with my bosses. By usual wranglings, I mean we tell each other why we're pissed off with each other and renegotiate the terms of my employment/resignation/redesignation, etc. Overall I'm happy with the deal and I've got to admit that I'm really not the easiest person to work with! In the afternoon, I gave a two-hour lecture on The History of the Advent of Islam! Students who usually hated history actually got what I was talking about and positively enjoyed the two-hour lecture. I'm smiling even as I type this.

Speaking of resignations/redesignations, it's become a Malaysian tradition to do this sort of thing. Yesterday, the PM and DPM decided to change jobs. PKR is still fighting to get the blokes running the show to get off the stage. The blokes responded by simply changing their costumes but still staying on the stage! Hahahaha! In other news, SAPP leaves BN and Zaid is now siding with DAP. Me? I talked about resignations and should all things move neatly into place, I will still proceed with my plans. But the current economic climate is calling for a redefinition of my roles and responsibilities instead. Pltypus actually sent me a job-posting today (and I appreciate it greatly). But let me clarify. My problems now are not with a shortage of jobs or job-offerings. It's with an abundance of it. I have too many job-offers. I don't feel like I'm at a crossroads trying to make up my mind on 2-3 options. I feel like I'm in a hypermarket of jobs but the one thing I'm really, really wishing for is really to laze about a bit for a while. However, seeing that I'm still permanently broke, it's really not to pragmatic to suggest that to anyone. The most likely scenario (should the Lord tarry - hah! I just had to say that sometime!) is that I'll continue in some modified capacity (don't ask) with the current employment.

I'm very tired but (thankfully) at peace with everything. :)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

MASTERCLASS FROM BIZARRO

Exit strategy for BN

Tiny Titans Report Card Day

UPSR Exams are over, School Exams are on this week and PMR is next month. I'm busy with my students' exam-preparations and my kids are taking their exams this week. Decided to post some stuff about exams and report cards. Hope you enjoy them. Click on the images below to enlarge them.

POTRAITS OF DENIAL 2

"My healing powers would make me lose weight in no time."

Portraits Of Denial

Stayed up late to catch the news on TV3 last night. Laughed throughout. Everything happening in the world now is an ongoing tragickal-comedy (or comickal-tragedy). Kinda like Mr. Punch (but without Judy - although the Devil is sure having a field day).

Latest Soundbites From Bolehland:

Pak Lah and Najib both gave speeches saying that Anwar was "bluffing" because it's September 16th but BN is still in power. By "in power", they of course mean that:

(i) The guy tasked to reform the law/judiciary system just quit because he knew that it's a lost cause trying to reform anything with the present administration in power.

(ii) They are so powerful that they can redefine the role of the ISA. In Malaysia, if the government wants to protect you, they will first brand you a "disturber of the peace" or a "local terrorist" (since that was what the ISA was for, right?). In Bolehland, protection and unlawful imprisonment means the same thing.

(iii) In power = PM & DPM both giving their assurances that "kerajaan kita teguh" while looking like they just shat in their pants. ("Oh, thankfully Anwar is going for the negotiations route otherwise we'll have to start moving our stuff out of office today...!")

(iv) SAPP is standing with DAP in public gatherings and even MCA/Gerakan are speaking up against the ruling coalition's policies regarding race, religion and the use of the ISA. This is what "in power" means!

(v) "In power" means that a cute Sin Chew reporter is as threatening to the nation as the whole Parti Komunis Malaysia and that a botak-blogger who speaks to the pasar-malam crowd is considered the most dangerous insurrectionist in the country.

What do I think?

(i) I'm no supporter of PKR or Anwar. I distrust politicians in general - even when they come with noble aspirations and tempting words. Having said that, I think that the ruling coalition have been in power for simply too long a time. A change of government is not a bad thing - especially when those in power have already let it go to their heads (hence the silliness that we are treated to on a daily basis) and they've largely lost their credibility already.

(ii) If PKR wants to take over, please do it quickly and spare us the endless comedy by the usual gang of idiots (no, I'm not referring to the editorial board of "MAD Magazine"!) with their endless "assurances" and "arrests" (for protection purposes, of course).

Problem was, the Soundbites didn't end there. I was then given Soundbites from America:

Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers and AIG were the biggest "tai-kors" in the financial world. We are told that they are now in serious trouble.

Enter: Bank of America, Federal Reserve, Bank of England and the European Central Bank to the rescue.

"Don't worry. We'll just print more money and lend them to you to tide you through this financial crisis that will last until 2010!"

AIG, the largest insurer the world has ever known, took a US$80 billion loan from the Federal Reserve (there's no reserve, my friends - it's simply a privately-owned company with the rights to print US money to "lend" to Americans and bleed the Americans and tax-payers dry) while debt-investors are chasing AIG for payments of anything from US$13 billion onwards.

Merrill Lynch has been taken over by the Bank of America (that is really not owned by Americans at all - get the joke yet?!?).

Lehman Brothers? Dissected and fed to the wolves (I mean, Barclays, ICICI, etc.)

In crude terms, the fuckers have become the fuckees. Or the fucked. Or they're all just fucking with each other. Why do we even listen to these so called economists and experts. They've created a monstrous-system that is way out-of-control (read: secretly controlled by the Elites on top) so much that even financial giants are among those who are fucked.

In the midst of all these happenings, both presidential candidates McCain and Obama assured the nation that "ekonomi and kerajaan kami masih teguh". McCain is still trying to sell it on the basis of American-gutso and Obama is still talking about "change" and "the audacity of hope".

Are you tired of being lied to?
The liars are not even trying very hard anymore!
The lies are no longer even convincing or creative!
Some of us have even stopped laughing.

Postscript
: Denial is not just the name of a stupid river in Egypt.

MASTERCLASS FROM P. RAMLEE

What Dol, Najib(finished!), Botak & Pendatang Ismail never learnt:



To every aspiring politician or student of politicks, heed the lesson of P.Ramlee.

MADRIPOOR MOVIE NIGHTS

WARNING: This movie was shown to the madripoor yahoos. They have not stopped laughing. Yet.



REVIEWS:
"Hang tak Bersetuju!!!"
"Stupidity has found a new idol"
"Bwaahahahahahahahaha"
"Speechless"
"ISA: the new security insurance"
"How to be a Home Minister - NOT!"
"How to bring down your own party"
"How to speak with your foot in your mouth"
"Bwaar ha ha ah hah ha ha!!!"
"There should be a law against stupidity"
"Today we witness the apex of stupidity"


'Eh bang, ceramah politik!' - Saloma
'Bukan sayang, Ni sandiwara bahlol!' - P. Ramlee

COFFEE WITH ORTEGA Y GASSET

Once in a long while, the soundbites stops. Then the lone voice that used to thunder is heard again. Long before the use of www and the appearance of Wikipedia to advertise intellectual deformity, people actually read. They read from printed papers. They read from class notes. They read from hastily scribbled paragraphs on enevelopes or whatever scraps they can find. Sometimes if they starve, they get to buy a book. Ortega Y Gasset was one such a time.
Jeremiah had no spanish coffee.
So I offered Mr Gasset Nanyang Memorably. He asked me where Kampung Baru was. I told him he can take the LRT but may just land up in Rawang. He did not get the joke. He asked where the mass gathering at Petaling Jaya was. I said it was near Asia Jaya. Also by LRT. He asked me if it was possible to take the LRT to PutraJaya. I didn't get his joke. So we drank coffee.
He liked the coffee. This Mr Gasset 'live' from Jeremiah:
The mass crushes beneath it everything that is different, everything that is excellent, individual, qualified and select. Anybody who is not like everybody, who does not think like everybody, runs the risk of being eliminated.
(I swear the man was talking about that pendatang ismail!)
It is illusory to imagine that the mass-man of to-day will be able to control, by himself, the process of civilization. I say process, and not progress. The simple process of preserving our present civilization is supremely complex, and demands incalculably subtle powers. Ill-fitted to direct it is this average man who has learned to use much of the machinery of civilization, but who is characterized by root-ignorance of the very principles of that civilization.
(najib is finished!)
The command over the public life exercised today by the intellectually vulgar is perhaps the factor of the present situation which is most novel, least assimilable to anything in the past... the vulgar had never believed itself to have "ideas" on things. It had beliefs, traditions, experiences, proverbs, mental habits, but it never imagine itself in possession of theoretical opinions on what things are or ought to be. To-day, on the other hand, the average man has the most mathematical "ideas" on all that happens or ought to happen in the universe. Hence he has lost the use of his hearing. Why should he listen if he has within him all that is necessary? There is no reason now for listening, but rather for judging, pronouncing, deciding. There is no question concerning public life, in which he does not intervene, blind and deaf as he is, imposing his "opinions."
(The new moron: Reporter arrested for her own safety!)
(Even better than any C4 jokes!)
...there appears for the first time a type of man who does not want to give reasons or to be right, but simply shows himself resolved to impose his opinions. This is the new thing: the right not to be reasonable, the "reason of unreason." Here I see the most palpable manifestation of the new mentality of the masses, due to their having decided to rule society without the capacity for doing so.
(Dr. M: DREAM ON!!!)

The characteristic of the hour is that the commonplace mind, knowing itself to be commonplace, has the assurance to proclaim the rights of the commonplace and to impose them wherever it will.

ORTEGA Y GASSET


Monday, September 15, 2008

PETRA: ON THE ROCKS

For Pete's sake get me a goddam lawyer like Karpal!

More Soundbites: Malaysia Day Celebrations

"We Can Form Government"

I was having dinner with my wife yesterday evening in a Mamak Shop when we heard the news that PKR is forming the new government. Will we finally see the toppling of the blokes who held sway over this country for the past 51 years? Soundbites were coming in even as we feasted on the plates of Maggi Goreng before us. "PKR's got the numbers!", "BN still in denial!", "Zaid quit to protest ISA!", etc. Like I said time and again, these are interesting times.....

PETALING JAYA: Opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim told thousands of supporters yesterday he had enough defectors to oust the government and has sought a meeting with the Premier to discuss a handover.

Shouting the popular opposition battle cry of "Reformasi" or reform, and "Merdeka" or freedom, the crowd of about 8,000 roared with approval when Mr Anwar told them that his plan was on track.

"We want the transition to be made in a peaceful manner. We have got the numbers, tomorrow is the D-Day and we are ready to form the government," he said.

He added that he had sent a letter to Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi yesterday to seek a meeting with him to discuss "a peaceful transition of power" to the opposition.

He said, however, that the opposition would not take over by force today but instead "in the nearest time".

"Why do we not want to seize power tomorrow? We don't want to force it. We do not want to go to Putrajaya and force them out," he said.

"We want to discuss with PM, if he wants a week or two weeks, we promise we will not follow the rule of the jungle and there will be no witch-hunt. What is past is past. What we want is to rule without corruption, detention without trial or the theft of the people's resources," he added.

The mass rally in a stadium just outside Kuala Lumpur was organised on the eve of Mr Anwar's self-imposed deadline to take over the federal government with what he said would be at least 30 defecting Barisan Nasional (BN) MPs.

He chose Sept 16 or Malaysia Day, on which Sabah and Sarawak joined the federation in 1963, as most of the MPs he targeted come from these states.

The rally, which was both a protest as well as a celebration of Malaysia Day, is a signal that Mr Anwar has no intention of giving up his plans to seize power even if his Sept 16 deadline is missed.

Most analysts do not expect a change of government today.

Mr Anwar has also said several times that his plans could be deferred because of last week's arrests under the Internal Security Act (ISA) that allows for detention without trial.

But the large crowd that turned up for the rally is a clear show of strength that signals to the government that he is not defeated, and has the people on his side.

Nevertheless, observers note that if he is unable to announce even one defection by today, it would not be a good sign. His bold declaration would be called a bluff by the ruling coalition, and it would make it harder for him to convince fence-sitters.

Mr Anwar told his cheering supporters yesterday that if he came to power, he would abolish the ISA.

"This is an arrogant government that simply detains anybody who criticises... we want to restore the dignity of all Malaysians."

Blogger Raja Petra Kamaruddin and a Democratic Action Party MP Teresa Kok remain in custody despite the growing pressure on the government to release them.

A Chinese press reporter Tan Hoon Cheng was released on Saturday after being held overnight for reporting on the fiery remarks of an Umno politician who described the Chinese community as "immigrants and squatters".

The politician, Mr Ahmad Ismail, was suspended by Umno for three years for refusing to apologise as he insisted that his remarks were made in a historical context.

The ISA arrests have been neatly turned around by the opposition to urge Malaysians not to accept another five years of BN governance.

Parti Keadilan Rakyat treasurer William Leong, in a statement, said the improper use of the ISA makes it more imperative that Malaysia does not wait till the next election.

"Now is the time to act, the nation cannot wait for five years. The ability to allow MPs to cross the floor recognises that there may be a significant shift in public opinion that does not require fresh elections but needs to be reflected in the Parliament," he said.

The next few days are expected to be tense as all eyes are on Mr Anwar's movements, and the reaction from the government which has shown that it will not sit by quietly as the opposition threatens its position.

Mr Abdullah, however, remained nonchalant about the threat to his government, dismissing Mr Anwar's claim as "empty talk" last night.

"We like to go on and on about this (change of government). It won't happen," he said at the breaking of fast with local leaders and people at the Abidin Mosque in Kuala Terengganu.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Ramblings Of An Untimely Man (Entry No. 150908)

If the stars and planets are aligned right, we'll have a new government tomorrow. Will that put an end to the current administration's nonsensical moves such as nabbing people who report on perpetrators of racist remarks rather than the perpetrators themselves? They'd better. It's been a largely comical weekend with the rulers shooting themselves in the neck while the rebels round up for a lawatan-sambil-belajar to Taiwan. A Little Taffer is having a field-day with soundbites and commentaries (while participating in candlelight vigils/protests). As for me, I just signed the "Free Teresa" Petition - so don't say that I'm not doing my part. I'm naturally very apolitical. I trust the Anwar Clan not much more than I trust the vainglorious ruling government. But even someone so apolitical is totally sick to the stomach with the ruling government's antics already. Truth be told, Anwar's victory really has more to do with the ruling government's continued determination to discredit itself by shooting itself in the foot again and again using unpopular archaic nonsense like the ISA. Dr M, on the other hand, is trying to make himself sound like a reformer these days but honestly, a lot of what the ruling government is today is a direct result of his own folly. Just that during his time, he didn't have to deal with naughty bloggers and little taffers! Haha! Many are calling the recent ISA Blitz "Ops Lalang 2". Actually it isn't. The ruling government is a shadow of what it was during the height of Dr M's time (I was going to say "despotism", really). Even Kerisman have long hidden his keris at home already (or maybe sold it off on eBay as "the keris that caused the fall of ARM-NOH on March 8?) Malaysians are very peaceable people, by nature. We don't like sudden shocks or changes in the government. We are naturally very non-revolutionary. Racism is also at an all time low among commoners - unless stoked by politicians playing the racial-card. My family and I dine with Malay/Muslims every evening during "Buka Puasa" and are warmly welcomed by them. Along came an Ah-Mad with his "pendatang" remarks (echoed daily by the Oo-Tosan papers) and the person who reported it was arrested instead?!? Hang tak bersetuju! (Sebenarnya, Hang ni pemalas yang tak berminat langsung dengan perkembangan politik tempatan tapi Hang ni pun tak boleh setuju sama tingkah-laku macam ni, tau?!?)

In other news, Pltypus thinks I'm angsty because I refused to read Alister McGrath. Truth is, I can't afford to buy many books these days and when I have some money, I'd rather buy stuff that I like to read rather than authors I disdain. I used to buy books by people that I dislike so that I can write stupidly angry reviews about them. Sometimes I still do that with movies (like I just did recently with "The Dark Knight"). But seriously, I've got a huge backlog of books still waiting to be read. I'm presently finishing Gu Long's "Full Moon, Curved Blade". This is a novel that I should've finished years ago but for some reason, my copies ended up with La Tey and it's probably somewhere in Bee Pee now. After that, I'll probably finish up the "Iron-Crane" series by Wang Dulu, "Brothers" by Yu Hua, reread Bruce Jones' run on "The Incredible Hulk" before picking up the Loeb/McGuiness "Red Hulk" stuff, etc. No, I'm not out to anathemize McGrath (like what Pltypus suggested). Honestly, I couldn't care less. I wrote on Calvin to make a clean break with Protestantism. We were brought up as Protestants who believed that Catholics deserved to get molotov-cocktails up their collective asses for worshipping Mary, selling/buying indulgences, praying to the Saints, etc. We stupidly walked around under the Reformation Banner (like some politico-folks here in Bolehland) and chanting the "Solas". We stupidly thought that we had the monopoly of truth. I hope the revelation that the Catholic Church fought USURY as long as they could until John Calvin opened the doors to it will show other Protestant folks that there's little to "protest" about Catholicism compared to the evils unleashed by their own founders. There was never a real theological-reformation by Luther and Calvin. Much of what they wrote about can be found in the writings of the Apostles, the Church Fathers, etc. It wasn't so much a theological reform as it was a social-political-economical one - with the goal of decentralizing the power of Rome in order to usher in the "new world order". Are you tired of being lied to? Are you tired of being fooled? Then wake up and smell the vomit around you...

I'm moving on to set up my new teaching schedule once I switch to "freelance" mode in November. My immediate financial concerns have little to do with the creep John Calvin or the Brotherhood-backed global banking system. My immediate financial concerns are limited to bringing back enough money for my family's needs, pay off my backlog of debts, start my degree programme, and (hopefully) have a little left to buy pirated DVDs, comics and novels. La Tey spent the large part of last month knee-deep in the whole financial-system thingy. Don't blame him. These things are fresh and alien to him. As for me? I've had quite enough of it all. That was why I left the whole banking/financial industry in the first place! Calvin approved of the "conscience-free" banking system built firmly upon "capitalism". The Puritan community was really a closed social experiment with its inhabitants as guinea pigs to be observed. It became the foundation for the whole United States of America with the Federal Reserve introduced as the capstone of this nefarious conspiracy. But all this wouldn't have been possible without the "reformation" of Luther/Calvin! Welcome to the New World Order...

Walked around the neighbourhood with my wife, kids and maid last night carrying lanterns. Nobody else seemed interested in celebrating the Mooncake Festival. It was a full-moon night. Was expecting Fa Moon Lau and Luk Siu Fung to appear out of nowhere announcing the duel between Sai Moon Chui Shuet ("Simon the Snow-Blower?") and Yip Goo Sing on the peak of the Summit USJ. The only VVIPs who turned up for the Lantern Party was MCA YB Ong Tee Keat and the boss of Summit USJ. Alas, the Lord of White Cloud City, Yip Goo Sing, was nowhere to be seen. When Ong Tee Keat started his speech, my family left for supper. I have little patience for populist-political ceramah.

Speaking of families, I had a great time last week reading the blog-entries of Asia Carrera, former pornstar. Asia was huge in the crazy 1990s. I only just found out about her marriage, the death of her husband, etc. Interestingly, I came to know Asia many years back (when I just discovered the internet) because of her website talking about her MENSA membership, her piano-playing, her "dictatorship", her geekiness, etc. I was learning HTML programming at the time and was putting up my first websites so I "stole" some of her HTML codes/designs for myself! Years later, I discovered her films and Gerrie Lim's book about the industry ("In Lust We Trust") two years ago. Learned about her Japanese-German parentage, her early life as a child prodigy (and the pressures that came with that), and her infamous atheism (shudder!). I was reading her bulleting entries for in the late 1990s (she was blogging long before there was such a word!) and found them to be very poignant/unpretentious stuff. She's one of the few pornstars who openly show you that porn is nothing more than a fantasy and that her porn-persona is nothing more than a fake identity (kinda like a superhero's costumed identity). The glimpses into her life away from the makeup, the pushup bras, the lighting, etc. showed a person who is obviously intelligent, playful, sad (at times) and refreshingly honest. It's interesting to read her latest bulletin-entries to know about her current activities (from around 2-3 years back). Go check out Asia's Bulletins to read them for yourself. Alister McGrath? Apa binatang itu? Advice: Never read pseudo-theologians or listen to populist political-ceramah to learn about humanity or anything resembling human-sentiments!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

LOBO RETURNS TO MADRIPOOR!!!

The MAIN MAN returns! and he's not smiling. Heard there were bats at that stinkin Jeremiah. He wasted no time in pulling in Bats from further modelling assignment with Mr jAnsOn...(not jEnsEn, that one is still reading asterix...)

"And yew bat-face, stop dropping guano in my bar!"
"Make me!"
When the Main Man and the Dark One met, there's always bound to be a duet of sort. Very deadly sam keith serious... (No. No carpenter sugar candy bullshit.) (Last heard, Punisher is still hunting the tuition teacher for that rainbow stunt)...But pure un-adulterated bats head biting heavy metal raaaaawk n rollllll!

Bo & Bats auditioning for Puching Idol. be afraid. be very afraid.

"How to run lead UMNO by Bo & Bats" : Be 100% fully insane and frag everyone who knows it and appoint a deputy who going insane but whom everyone think is bat-cool. Unbeatable combo. Of course you can upsize by hiring a meatloaf who thinks he's a singer who thinks he's a vegetarian to sing your party songs. But a definite no-no: don't ever hire a deputy whose resume includes C4. (That will cause soundbites from putrajaya all the way to petra. )

Frag & Roll at Jeremiah


When Bo and Bats thrash, they merge into one oversized operatic screamer.

There are no x-overs in Madripoor. Since there are no frogs in Madripoor. No penguins either. So, no politicians. 'cept for the corpse of Nguyen six-feet under or more. Just Bo & Bats. Having a good time.


Friday, September 12, 2008

MADRIPOOR TRIPLETS: JEREMIAH EXCLUSIVE

FRED DUKES: former playskool teacher, last heard auditioning his leotard for Dark Knight (!)

SUMO: tuition teacher, last heard learning C4 jokes. (also auditioning for Dark Knight) (!!)

MR. FIXIT: has tendency to walk around in white towel. Rejected for Dark Knight for being too obscene!!!

COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR SRI PETALING,
DARK NIGHTS RETURN: THE MADRIPOOR TRIPLETS
BE AFRAID.
BE VERY AFRAID.

Shortest "The Incredible Hulk" Review

I saw "The Incredible Hulk" on DVD yesterday.
It was better than Iron Man.
There. I said it.
So. Go watch it now.
Or HULK SMASH...!

The Protestant Reformation? Apa Binatang Tu?

Please read "The Great Heresies" to understand why I puke whenever people sing the glories of the Protestant "Reformation" these days... :(
The present state of the world and the evil global banking system that keeps us all in bondage wouldn't even have been possible without the Protestant "Reformation".
Aren't you tired of being fooled?
Wake up.
Someone in this part of the world is also making quite a name for himself with the "Reformasi" banner.
Do you believe him?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

John Calvin and Modern Banking

[See original post --- the below has been edited by Uncle Screwtape:]

There is a link between Calvinism and our modern use of Usury. We now live in an age where High Usury against is commonplace, yet the Bible and Historic Christian commentary for 15 hundred years were all against it. Except for one person. And that person was John Calvin.

In the book "Christianity's Dangerous Idea" Alister Mcgrath goes through the common consensus of Biblical interpretation in regards to the issue of Usury. He notes how everyone was against it. Then he turns to Calvin and shows how his view eventually became the common interpretation of the text among Prots and then about 3 hundred years later among Catholics, and eventhough he doesn't mention this, but it has alo become the view of some Orthodox in recent decades.

Yet while Christians were Prohibited from lending money at interest, Jews were explicitly exempted from this ban. This exemption led to the emergence of the stereotype of the Jew as an avaricious moneylender, famously exemplified in Shakespeare's Shylock in The Merchant of Venine. These views were not challenged in the first phase of Protestantism. Martin Luther regarded the biblical prohibition of usury as permanently binding. In his 1524 sermon on trade and usury, Luther lashed out at any attempt to change interest. In his view, Christians "should willingly and gladly lend money without any charge." The Elizabethan Protestant bishop John Jewel reflected the views of his age when he raged from his pulpit against the iniquities of usury. "It is theft, it is the murdering of our brethern, it is the curse of God and the curse of the people."
This uncompromising opposition to usury was emodied in a statute passed by the English Parliament in 1571, which had the uniforeseen and unintended effect of legitimating usury at a fixed rate of 10 percent.

Yet the lending of monay at interest was essential to the emergence of modern capitalism. A steady increasing hunger for capital led many in both church and state to turn a blind eye to moneylending and to reconsider the entire theological basis of the prhibition of usury. Calvin could not have been unaware of these problems. The survival of the city of Geneva depended on being able to sustain and develop its urban economy and remain independant of potentially dangerous neighbors.

In 1545 Calvin wrote to his friend Claude de Sachin, setting out his views on usury. The letter was not published until after Calvin's death (1564), when Theodore Beza decided to make its contents generally known in 1575. At one level, this letter can be read as a total inversion of the teaching of the Old Testament; a more attentive reading confirms this suspicion but discloses the
sophisticated lines of argument that led Calvin to his surprising conclusion. So how could Calvin reinterpret the Old Testament's explicit statement that usury is prohibited to mean that it is actually permitted?

Calvin's letter of 1545 reinforces the impotance of biblibal interpretation to Protestantism. In one respect, Calvin reaffirmed the general Protestant idea that not all the rules set out for Jews in the Old Testament were binding upon Christians; in these instances, the Old Testament offered moral guidance only, not positive prescription for conduct. Yet this way of interpreting the Old Testament had been applied to cultic issues-such as the Old Testament's demand for animal sacrifices. Calvin's extension of the principle to usury broke new ground.

A fundamental theme recurring throuhout the letter was that things had moved on. the situation in sixteenth-century Europe was not the same as that in ancient Israel. As Bieler points out in his magisterial study of Calvin's economic thought, the new economic realities of the sixteenth century made it possible to view interests as simply rent paid on capital. Calvin therefore argued for the need to probe deeper and ascertain the general princliples that seemed to underlie the Old Testament ban on usury in its original context. It was the purpose of the prohibition, not the prohibition itself, that had to govern Protestant thinking on this matter. "We ought not to judge usury according to a few passages of scripture, but in accordance with the principle of equity." For Calvin, the real concern was the exploitation of the poor through." through high interests rates. This, he argued, could be dealt with in other ways-such as fixing of interest rates at communally acceptable levels. Calvin's willinglness to allow a variable rate of interest showed an awareness of the pressures upon capital in the more or less free market of the age.

Calvin's views which were seen by many as running counter to the clear meaning of the Bible, took some time to become accepted. By the middle of the seventeenth century-more than one hundred years after Calvin's groundbreaking analysis-usury was fully regarded as acceptable. Protestant jurists such as Hugo Grotius and Samuel Pufendorf supplemented Calvin's theological analysis with clarifications of economic concepts, especially in relation to price and value, that finally removed any remaining scruples about lending money at unterest. The Catholic church did not legitmate usury, however, until 1830, apparently in response to the widespread acceptance of the practice within predominantly Protestant western Europe.

Yet Protestantism did more than bring about the theological adjustment that opened the way to a modern capitalist economy, its early development in the cities of Europe, especially in Switzerland, created the economic conditions that made such a change inevitable and essential. During the period 1535 to 1540, an economic recession descended on the area around Geneva. Despite this downturn, Geneva was able to survive and to go on to benefit from the subsequent recovery throughout the region, which lasted from 1540 to 1555. It is now thought that one of the prime reasons for Geneva's resilience during this period was the emergence of the Swiss banking system, which allowed Basel and other major Swiss Protestant cities sympathic to Calvin's religious agenda to bail him out through large loans. The Swiss banking system emerged as a direct response to a shared sense of identity throughout the Protestant cantons of Switzerland and neighboring cities-including Geneva. The raising of capital for economic expansion thus became imperative for Geneva around this time. Calvin's removal of the remaining theological impediments to the practice of usury was not merely religiously progressive; it was essential if his version of Protestantism was to survive. So intimate was the connection between the religious system of Calvinism and the city of Geneva that the collapse of the latter would have had disastrous implications for the former." [1]

Calvinism's novel interpretation of Usury is one of the causes of masses poverty in the World today. Yes, the world has always had it's poor, but Calvinism has made it even worse.

[1] pages 332-335 from the book "Christianity's Dangerous Idea: The Protestant Revolution-A History from the Sixteenth Century to the Twenty-First by Alister E. McGrath. Published by HarperOne, Copyright 2007

A Short History of Banking


In the old days there was no paper money. The accepted token of exchange was precious metal minted into coins by the Church and the Crown. Because there was only a limited amount of gold and silver available, the economic life of the nation had a certain regularity.

An even greater restriction existed throughout Christendom. This was a prohibition against usury, or charging interest. The Church held it to be a grave sin and the code was upheld by the civil powers. There were harsh penalties for those who broke the law.

The regulation of usury was to prevent the separation of money from reality. Money is not a good, it is a measure. It is fraud to pretend otherwise, and constitutes theft. Usury is making money from lending money; it is making money from nothing. This is exactly what is happening today on a colossal scale.

Several important things arose from the prohibition of usury in medieval Christendom. Firstly Jews, who had taken to wandering around Europe in the Middle Ages, began to specialize in money-lending and other practices which were forbidden to Christians. Exploited Christians, both peasants and aristocracy, found themselves being bled dry by usurers, which is why there were sporadic uprisings, imprisonments and expulsions of Jews throughout Europe. It is one reason why King Edward I expelled these perfidious people from England in 1290. Oliver Cromwell allowed them back when the moral authority of the Church was undermined and the King was beheaded in 1649.

Secondly, gold coins, jewels and other valuables were deposited with people who held strongboxes. This was usually with goldsmiths and money-lenders who, more often than not, were one and the same. These loan-sharks and scriveners realized that, without much chance of being found out, they could charge people for looking after their deposits and then use those deposits - which did not belong to them - to make loans to other people at interest. They soon became rich and powerful.

Gold coins are heavy and awkward to carry around so the custom arose whereby the money-lenders would issue credit notes to depositors who began to trade these notes between themselves in commercial transactions. Paper money had come into existence.

A new form of usury developed as the swindling money-lenders realized the immoral benefits that could be obtained from such a situation. It became apparent to these thieves that they could go one step further than dishonestly using other people's money for financial advantage at no cost to themselves. They could invent money from absolutely nothing. They could issue credit notes with nothing to back them up and put them into circulation as interest-bearing debts. No-one would be any the wiser. They calculated that they could safely issue notes for up to ten times more than the gold deposits they held, because the depositors would never ask for their deposits back all at the same time.

The principle of modern banking was thus established: invent money from nothing, put it into circulation as "running cash notes" that have to be paid back with real wealth that is produced from our labour, sit back and become unbelievably wealthy and powerful men: hidden rulers of nations.

In England this deceitful system was officially sanctioned in 1694. The usurper of the throne, William of Orange, had overthrown the legitimate King James II with the financial backing and plotting of powerful Jewish financiers in Amsterdam. In return he gave the sovereignty of England to a group of financiers by means of a Charter allowing them to call themselves the Bank of England. The Charter made no mention of issuing the nation's money, but within minutes of signing the new Bank officials were discussing the form of their "running cash notes." The same system was adopted in every country by a process of Masonic revolution and manipulation.

FREEMASONRY AND COMMUNISM

Socialist theorists and ideologues have never attacked the essential mechanism of capitalism. Although the injustices of the capitalist system have been attacked in volume after volume, and rightly so, they have never even hinted at the usury upon which the whole system is built and from which all the other injustices stem.

Perhaps this is because so many Communist leaders are Jewish. Most of the 'Russian Revolutionists' of 1917 were actually Jews from the lower east side of New York City. Two hundred and seventy-five of them were conveyed to Russia aboard the S.S. Christiana, led by Trotsky and financed by Kuhns, Loebs, Schiffs and Warburgs. This cosy circle of Jews and Freemasons financed both sides of the Great War.

Marx and Engels, two more Jews, wrote the Communist Manifesto on behalf of a secret society calling themselves 'The League of Just Men.' This secret society was an arm of the Illuminati, whose power and influence was the catalyst of the French Revolution. One of the founding members of the Illuminati was the House of Rothschild, the Jewish banking house which practically invented supra-nationalism for personal profit.

THE SITUATION TODAY

Nowadays banking has become extremely sophisticated but the hidden and usurious mechanism behind it remains the same. After a big enquiry, hushed up as much as possible, the Bank of England was nationalised in 1946. In theory control of the Bank of England should then have passed from a group of private individuals to the British Government, but this is still not the case. Nationalisation only added a thin veneer of respectability.

The British Treasury, in conjunction with the Bank of England's advisers to the Government, determine how much paper money and coin will be issued each year. This has to accord with the wealth of the nation for that year. But because banknotes and coins only account for a tiny percentage of financial transactions, it makes no difference to the bankers at all. Most financial transactions are carried out with abstract figures on a computer screen that have no relationship to real wealth. Everything has to be paid for at interest though - even when it doesn't exist!

The Government still has to pay interest on old and new loans from the Bank. Only a few years ago it was announced that the interest debt on a loan taken during the Napoleonic War had just been paid off! This is where much of our tax money goes.

THE NEXT STAGE

The next stage of development for international finance is to get rid of cash altogether. Then the token accountability of the bankers will disappear along with the cash. Their intention is that everyone will have to use credit/debit cards for every type of commercial transaction.

Electronic technology, when used this way, and when it is not merely widespread but compulsory, will give them complete control of every man, woman and child in the world. If you cannot buy or sell - food, petrol, clothes - without a card you are completely at their mercy. If you lose the card or it doesn't work for some reason you will suffer until issued with a replacement. If you make a protest against some particular injustice they could invalidate your card. The next time you go to the supermarket your card may not work. You won't officially exist!

Who benefits from such a scheme? The politicians or the bankers? To ask the question is to answer it. The Bank of England is the real, but hidden, government of the country. The Government and the politicians are merely puppets controlled by the Bank - or, more accurately, the international banking families. None of our cowardly politicians dare stand up to these hidden and unelected rulers of the world, so powerful have they become. Two American presidents, possibly three, were assassinated for attempting to do so. It is far easier for them to submit to the system and enjoy a rich life than expose the real tyrants: tyrants who cause high taxes, unemployment, war, famine and misery for the rest of us. But these despots of the New World Order forget that Truth is more powerful than they could ever become. And Truth brings Justice!

The Morality Of Moneylending (Emphasis Mine)

The Morality of Moneylending: A Short History
Yaron Brook

Author’s note: This essay is partially based on my lecture “Money-Lending: Its History and Philosophy,” delivered at Second Renaissance Conferences, Anaheim, California, July 2001.

It seems that every generation has its Shylock—a despised financier blamed for the economic problems of his day. A couple of decades ago it was Michael Milken and his “junk” bonds. Today it is the mortgage bankers who, over the past few years, lent billions of dollars to home buyers—hundreds of thousands of whom are now delinquent or in default on their loans. This “sub-prime mortgage crisis” is negatively affecting the broader financial markets and the economy as a whole. The villains, we are told, are not the borrowers—who took out loans they could not afford to pay back—but the moneylenders—who either deceived the borrowers or should have known better than to make the loans in the first place. And, we are told, the way to prevent such problems in the future is to clamp down on moneylenders and their industries; thus, investigations, criminal prosecutions, and heavier regulations on bankers are in order.

Of course, government policy for decades has been to encourage lenders to provide mortgage loans to lower-income families, and when mortgage brokers have refused to make such loans, they have been accused of “discrimination.” But now that many borrowers are in a bind, politicians are seeking to lash and leash the lenders.

This treatment of moneylenders is unjust but not new. For millennia they have been the primary scapegoats for practically every economic problem. They have been derided by philosophers and condemned to hell by religious authorities; their property has been confiscated to compensate their “victims”; they have been humiliated, framed, jailed, and butchered. From Jewish pogroms where the main purpose was to destroy the records of debt, to the vilification of the House of Rothschild, to the jailing of American financiers—moneylenders have been targets of philosophers, theologians, journalists, economists, playwrights, legislators, and the masses.

Major thinkers throughout history—Plato, Aristotle, Thomas Aquinas, Adam Smith, Karl Marx, and John Maynard Keynes, to name just a few—considered moneylending, at least under certain conditions, to be a major vice. Dante, Shakespeare, Dickens, Dostoyevsky, and modern and popular novelists depict moneylenders as villains.

Today, anti-globalization demonstrators carry signs that read “abolish usury” or “abolish interest.” Although these protestors are typically leftists—opponents of capitalism and anything associated with it—their contempt for moneylending is shared by others, including radical Christians and Muslims who regard charging interest on loans as a violation of God’s law and thus as immoral.

Moneylending has been and is condemned by practically everyone. But what exactly is being condemned here? What is moneylending or usury? And what are its consequences?

Although the term “usury” is widely taken to mean “excessive interest” (which is never defined) or illegal interest, the actual definition of the term is, as the Oxford English Dictionary specifies: “The fact or practice of lending money at interest.” This is the definition I ascribe to the term throughout this essay.

Usury is a financial transaction in which person A lends person B a sum of money for a fixed period of time with the agreement that it will be returned with interest. The practice enables people without money and people with money to mutually benefit from the wealth of the latter. The borrower is able to use money that he would otherwise not be able to use, in exchange for paying the lender an agreed-upon premium in addition to the principal amount of the loan. Not only do both interested parties benefit from such an exchange; countless people who are not involved in the trade often benefit too—by means of access to the goods and services made possible by the exchange.

Usury enables levels of life-serving commerce and industry that otherwise would be impossible. Consider a few historical examples. Moneylenders funded grain shipments in ancient Athens and the first trade between the Christians in Europe and the Saracens of the East. They backed the new merchants of Italy and, later, of Holland and England. They supported Spain’s exploration of the New World, and funded gold and silver mining operations. They made possible the successful colonization of America. They fueled the Industrial Revolution, supplying the necessary capital to the new entrepreneurs in England, the United States, and Europe. And, in the late 20th century, moneylenders provided billions of dollars to finance the computer, telecommunications, and biotechnology industries.

By taking risks and investing their capital in what they thought would make them the most money, moneylenders and other financiers made possible whole industries—such as those of steel, railroads, automobiles, air travel, air conditioning, and medical devices. Without capital, often provided through usury, such life-enhancing industries would not exist—and homeownership would be impossible to all but the wealthiest people.

Moneylending is the lifeblood of industrial-technological society. When the practice and its practitioners are condemned, they are condemned for furthering and enhancing man’s life on earth.

Given moneylenders’ enormous contribution to human well-being, why have they been so loathed throughout history, and why do they continue to be distrusted and mistreated today? What explains the universal hostility toward one of humanity’s greatest benefactors? And what is required to replace this hostility with the gratitude that is the moneylenders’ moral due?

As we will see, hostility toward usury stems from two interrelated sources: certain economic views and certain ethical views. Economically, from the beginning of Western thought, usury was regarded as unproductive—as the taking of something for nothing. Ethically, the practice was condemned as immoral—as unjust, exploitative, against biblical law, selfish. The history of usury is a history of confusions, discoveries, and evasions concerning the economic and moral status of the practice. Until usury is recognized as both economically productive and ethically praiseworthy—as both practical and moral—moneylenders will continue to be condemned as villains rather than heralded as the heroes they in fact are.

Our brief history begins with Aristotle’s view on the subject.

Aristotle
The practice of lending money at interest was met with hostility as far back as ancient Greece, and even Aristotle (384–322 b.c.) believed the practice to be unnatural and unjust. In the first book of Politics he writes:

The most hated sort [of moneymaking], and with the greatest reason, is usury, which makes a gain out of money itself, and not from the natural use of it. For money was intended to be used in exchange, but not to increase at interest. And this term Usury which means the birth of money from money, is applied to the breeding of money, because the offspring resembles the parent. Wherefore of all modes of making money this is the most unnatural.1

Aristotle believed that charging interest was immoral because money is not productive. If you allow someone to use your orchard, he argued, the orchard bears fruit every year—it is productive—and from this product the person can pay you rent. But money, Aristotle thought, is merely a medium of exchange. When you loan someone money, he receives no value over and above the money itself. The money does not create more money—it is barren. On this view, an exchange of $100 today for $100 plus $10 in interest a year from now is unjust, because the lender thereby receives more than he gave, and what he gave could not have brought about the 10 percent increase. Making money from money, according to Aristotle, is “unnatural” because money, unlike an orchard, cannot produce additional value.

Aristotle studied under Plato and accepted some of his teacher’s false ideas. One such idea that Aristotle appears to have accepted is the notion that every good has some intrinsic value—a value independent of and apart from human purposes. On this view, $100 will be worth $100 a year from now and can be worth only $100 to anyone, at any time, for any purpose. Aristotle either rejected or failed to consider the idea that loaned money loses value to the lender over time as his use of it is postponed, or the idea that money can be invested in economic activity and thereby create wealth. In short, Aristotle had no conception of the productive role of money or of the moneylender. (Given the relative simplicity of the Greek economy, he may have had insufficient evidence from which to conclude otherwise.) Consequently, he regarded usury as unproductive, unnatural, and therefore unjust.

Note that Aristotle’s conclusion regarding the unjust nature of usury is derived from his view that the practice is unproductive: Since usury creates nothing but takes something—since the lender apparently is parasitic on the borrower—the practice is unnatural and immoral. It is important to realize that, on this theory, there is no dichotomy between the economically practical and the morally permissible; usury is regarded as immoral because it is regarded as impractical.

Aristotle’s economic and moral view of usury was reflected in ancient culture for a few hundred years, but moral condemnation of the practice became increasingly pronounced. The Greek writer Plutarch (46–127 a.d.), for example, in his essay “Against Running In Debt, Or Taking Up Money Upon Usury,” described usurers as “wretched,” “vulture-like,” and “barbarous.”2 In Roman culture, Seneca (ca. 4 b.c.–65 a.d.) condemned usury for the same reasons as Aristotle; Cato the Elder (234–149 b.c.) famously compared usury to murder;3 and Cicero (106–43 b.c.) wrote that “these profits are despicable which incur the hatred of men, such as those of . . . lenders of money on usury.”4

As hostile as the Greeks and Romans generally were toward usury, their hostility was based primarily on their economic view of the practice, which gave rise to and was integrated with their moral view of usury. The Christians, however, were another matter, and their position on usury would become the reigning position in Western thought up to the present day.

The Dark and Middle Ages
The historian William Manchester described the Dark and Middle Ages as

stark in every dimension. Famines and plague, culminating in the Black Death [which killed 1 in 4 people at its peak] and its recurring pandemics, repeatedly thinned the population. . . . Among the lost arts were bricklaying; in all of Germany, England, Holland and Scandinavia, virtually no stone buildings, except cathedrals, were raised for ten centuries. . . . Peasants labored harder, sweated more, and collapsed from exhaustion more often than their animals.5

During the Dark Ages, the concept of an economy had little meaning. Human society had reverted to a precivilized state, and the primary means of trade was barter. Money all but disappeared from European commerce for centuries. There was, of course, some trade and some lending, but most loans were made with goods, and the interest was charged in goods. These barter-based loans, primitive though they were, enabled people to survive the tough times that were inevitable in an agrarian society.6

Yet the church violently opposed even such subsistence-level lending.

During this period, the Bible was considered the basic source of knowledge and thus the final word on all matters of importance. For every substantive question and problem, scholars consulted scripture for answers—and the Bible clearly opposed usury. In the Old Testament, God says to the Jews: “[He that] Hath given forth upon usury, and hath taken increase: shall he then live? he shall not live . . . he shall surely die; his blood shall be upon him.”7 And:

Thou shalt not lend upon usury to thy brother; usury of money; usury of victuals; usury of anything that is lent upon usury.

Unto a stranger thou mayest lend upon usury; but unto thy brother thou shalt not lend upon usury, that the Lord thy God may bless thee in all that thou settest thine hand to in the land whither thou goest to possess it.8

In one breath, God forbade usury outright; in another, He forbade the Jews to engage in usury with other Jews but permitted them to make loans at interest to non-Jews.

Although the New Testament does not condemn usury explicitly, it makes clear that one’s moral duty is to help those in need, and thus to give to others one’s own money or goods without the expectation of anything in return—neither interest nor principal. As Luke plainly states, “lend, hoping for nothing again.”9 Jesus’ expulsion of the moneychangers from the temple is precisely a parable conveying the Christian notion that profit is evil, particularly profit generated by moneylending. Christian morality, the morality of divinely mandated altruism, expounds the virtue of self-sacrifice on behalf of the poor and the weak; it condemns self-interested actions, such as profiting—especially profiting from a seemingly exploitative and unproductive activity such as usury.

Thus, on scriptural and moral grounds, Christianity opposed usury from the beginning. And it constantly reinforced its opposition with legal restrictions. In 325 a.d., the Council of Nicaea banned the practice among clerics. Under Charlemagne (768–814 a.d.), the Church extended the prohibition to laymen, defining usury simply as a transaction where more is asked than is given.10 In 1139, the second Lateran Council in Rome denounced usury as a form of theft, and required restitution from those who practiced it. In the 12th and 13th centuries, strategies that concealed usury were also condemned. The Council of Vienne in 1311 declared that any person who dared claim that there was no sin in the practice of usury be punished as a heretic.

There was, however, a loophole among all these pronouncements: the Bible’s double standard on usury. As we saw earlier, read one way, the Bible permits Jews to lend to non-Jews. This reading had positive consequences. For lengthy periods during the Dark and Middle Ages, both Church and civil authorities allowed Jews to practice usury. Many princes, who required substantial loans in order to pay bills and wage wars, allowed Jewish usurers in their states. Thus, European Jews, who had been barred from most professions and from ownership of land, found moneylending to be a profitable, albeit hazardous, profession.

Although Jews were legally permitted to lend to Christians—and although Christians saw some practical need to borrow from them and chose to do so—Christians resented this relationship. Jews appeared to be making money on the backs of Christians while engaging in an activity biblically prohibited to Christians on punishment of eternal damnation. Christians, accordingly, held these Jewish usurers in contempt. (Important roots of anti-Semitism lie in this biblically structured relationship.)

Opposition to Jewish usurers was often violent. In 1190, the Jews of York were massacred in an attack planned by members of the nobility who owed money to the Jews and sought to absolve the debt through violence.11 During this and many other attacks on Jewish communities, accounting records were destroyed and Jews were murdered. As European historian Joseph Patrick Byrne reports:

“Money was the reason the Jews were killed, for had they been poor, and had not the lords of the land been indebted to them, they would not have been killed.”12 But the “lords” were not the only debtors: the working class and underclass apparently owed a great deal, and these violent pogroms gave them the opportunity to destroy records of debt as well as the creditors themselves.13

In 1290, largely as a result of antagonism generated from their moneylending, King Edward I expelled the Jews from England, and they would not return en masse until the 17th century.

From the Christian perspective, there were clearly problems with the biblical pronouncements on usury. How could it be that Jews were prohibited from lending to other Jews but were allowed to lend to Christians and other non-Jews? And how could it be that God permitted Jews to benefit from this practice but prohibited Christians from doing so? These questions perplexed the thinkers of the day. St. Jerome’s (ca. 347–420) “solution” to the conundrum was that it was wrong to charge interest to one’s brothers—and, to Christians, all other Christians were brothers—but it was fine to charge interest to one’s enemy. Usury was perceived as a weapon that weakened the borrower and strengthened the lender; so, if one loaned money at interest to one’s enemy, that enemy would suffer. This belief led Christians to the absurd practice of lending money to the Saracens—their enemies—during the Crusades.14

Like the Greeks and Romans, Christian thinkers viewed certain economic transactions as zero-sum phenomena, in which a winner always entailed a loser. In the practice of usury, the lender seemed to grow richer without effort—so it had to be at the expense of the borrower, who became poorer. But the Christians’ economic hostility toward usury was grounded in and fueled by biblical pronouncements against the practice—and this made a substantial difference. The combination of economic and biblical strikes against usury—with an emphasis on the latter—led the Church to utterly vilify the usurer, who became a universal symbol for evil. Stories describing the moneylenders’ horrible deaths and horrific existence in Hell were common. One bishop put it concisely:

God created three types of men: peasants and other laborers to assure the subsistence of the others, knights to defend them, and clerics to govern them. But the devil created a fourth group, the usurers. They do not participate in men’s labors, and they will not be punished with men, but with the demons. For the amount of money they receive from usury corresponds to the amount of wood sent to Hell to burn them.15

Such was the attitude toward usury during the Dark and early Middle Ages. The practice was condemned primarily on biblical/moral grounds. In addition to the fact that the Bible explicitly forbade it, moneylending was recognized as self-serving. Not only did it involve profit; the profit was (allegedly) unearned and exploitative. Since the moneylender’s gain was assumed to be the borrower’s loss—and since the borrower was often poor—the moneylender was seen as profiting by exploiting the meek and was therefore regarded as evil.

Beginning in the 11th century, however, a conflicting economic reality became increasingly clear—and beginning in the 13th century, the resurgence of respect for observation and logic made that reality increasingly difficult to ignore.

Through trade with the Far East and exposure to the flourishing cultures and economies of North Africa and the Middle East, economic activity was increasing throughout Europe. As this activity created a greater demand for capital and for credit, moneylenders arose throughout Europe to fill the need—and as moneylenders filled the need, the economy grew even faster.

And Europeans were importing more than goods; they were also importing knowledge. They were discovering the Arabic numerical system, double-entry accounting, mathematics, science, and, most importantly, the works of Aristotle.

Aristotle’s ideas soon became the focus of attention in all of Europe’s learning centers, and his writings had a profound effect on the scholars of the time. No longer were young intellectuals satisfied by biblical references alone; they had discovered reason, and they sought to ground their ideas in it as well. They were, of course, still stifled by Christianity, because, although reason had been rediscovered, it was to remain the handmaiden of faith. Consequently, these intellectuals spent most of their time trying to use reason to justify Christian doctrine. But their burgeoning acceptance of reason, and their efforts to justify their ideas accordingly, would ultimately change the way intellectuals thought about everything—including usury.

Although Aristotle himself regarded usury as unjust, recall that he drew this conclusion from what he legitimately thought was evidence in support of it; in his limited economic experience, usury appeared to be unproductive. In contrast, the thinkers of this era were confronted with extensive use of moneylending all around them—which was accompanied by an ever-expanding economy—a fact that they could not honestly ignore. Thus, scholars set out to reconcile the matter rationally. On Aristotelian premises, if usury is indeed unjust and properly illegal, then there must be a logical argument in support of this position. And the ideas that usury is unproductive and that it necessarily consists in a rich lender exploiting a poor borrower were losing credibility.

Public opinion, which had always been against usury, now started to change as the benefits of credit and its relationship to economic growth became more evident. As support for usury increased, however, the Church punished transgressions more severely and grew desperate for theoretical justification for its position. If usury was to be banned, as the Bible commands, then this new world that had just discovered reason would require new, non-dogmatic explanations for why the apparently useful practice is wrong.

Over the next four hundred years, theologians and lawyers struggled to reconcile a rational approach to usury with Church dogma on the subject. They dusted off Aristotle’s argument from the barrenness of money and reasserted that the profit gained through the practice is unnatural and unjust. To this they added that usury entails an artificial separation between the ownership of goods and the use of those same goods, claiming that lending money is like asking two prices for wine—one price for receiving the wine and an additional price for drinking it—one price for its possession and another for its use. Just as this would be wrong with wine, they argued, so it is wrong with money: In the case of usury, the borrower in effect pays $100 for $100, plus another fee, $10, for the use of the money that he already paid for and thus already owns.16

In similar fashion, it was argued that usury generates for the lender profit from goods that no longer belong to him—that is, from goods now owned by the borrower.17 As one Scholastic put it: “[He] who gets fruit from that money, whether it be pieces of money or anything else, gets it from a thing which does not belong to him, and it is accordingly all the same as if he were to steal it.”18

Another argument against usury from the late Middle Ages went to a crucial aspect of the practice that heretofore had not been addressed: the issue of time. Thinkers of this period believed that time was a common good, that it belonged to no one in particular, that it was a gift from God. Thus, they saw usurers as attempting to defraud God.19 As the 12th-century English theologian Thomas of Chobham (1160–1233) wrote: “The usurer sells nothing to the borrower that belongs to him. He sells only time, which belongs to God. He can therefore not make a profit from selling someone else’s property.”20 Or as expressed in a 13th-century manuscript, “Every man stops working on holidays, but the oxen of usury work unceasingly and thus offend God and all the Saints; and, since usury is an endless sin, it should in like manner be endlessly punished.”21

Although the identification of the value of time and its relationship to interest was used here in an argument against usury, this point is actually a crucial aspect of the argument in defense of the practice. Indeed, interest is compensation for a delay in using one’s funds. It is compensation for the usurer’s time away from his money. And although recognition of an individual’s ownership of his own time was still centuries away, this early acknowledgment of the relationship of time and interest was a major milestone.

The Scholastics came to similar conclusions about usury as those reached by earlier Christian thinkers, but they sought to defend their views not only by reference to scripture, but also by reference to their observational understanding of the economics of the practice. The economic worth of usury—its productivity or unproductively—became their central concern. The question became: Is money barren? Does usury have a productive function? What are the facts?

This is the long arm of Aristotle at work. Having discovered Aristotle’s method of observation-based logic, the Scholastics began to focus on reality, and, to the extent that they did, they turned away from faith and away from the Bible. It would take hundreds of years for this perspective to develop fully, but the type of arguments made during the late Middle Ages were early contributions to this crucial development.

As virtuous as this new method was, however, the Scholastics were still coming to the conclusion that usury is unproductive and immoral, and it would not be until the 16th century and the Reformation that usury would be partially accepted by the Church and civil law. For the time being, usury remained forbidden—at least in theory.

Church officials, particularly from the 12th century on, frequently manipulated and selectively enforced the usury laws to bolster the financial power of the Church. When it wanted to keep its own borrowing cost low, the Church enforced the usury prohibition. At other times, the Church itself readily loaned money for interest. Monks were among the earliest moneylenders, offering carefully disguised interest-bearing loans throughout the Middle Ages.

The most common way to disguise loans—and the way in which banking began in Italy and grew to be a major business—was through money exchange. The wide variety of currencies made monetary exchange necessary but difficult, which led to certain merchants specializing in the field. With the rapid growth of international trade, these operations grew dramatically in scale, and merchants opened offices in cities all across Europe and the eastern Mediterranean. These merchants used the complexities associated with exchange of different currencies to hide loans and charge interest. For example, a loan might be made in one currency and returned in another months later in a different location—although the amount returned would be higher (i.e., would include an interest payment), this would be disguised by a new exchange rate. This is one of many mechanisms usurers and merchants invented to circumvent the restrictions. As one commentator notes, “the interest element in such dealings [was] normally . . . hidden by the nature of the transactions either in foreign exchange or as bills of exchange or, frequently, as both.”22 By such means, these merchants took deposits, loaned money, and made payments across borders, thus creating the beginnings of the modern banking system.

Although the merchant credit extended by these early banks was technically interest, and thus usury, both the papal and civic authorities permitted the practice, because the exchange service proved enormously valuable to both. In addition to financing all kinds of trade across vast distances for countless merchants, such lending also financed the Crusades for the Church and various wars for various kings.23 Everyone wanted what usury had to offer, yet no one understood exactly what that was. So while the Church continued to forbid usury and punish transgressors, it also actively engaged in the practice. What was seen as moral by the Church apparently was not seen as wholly practical by the Church, and opportunity became the mother of evasion.

The Church also engaged in opportunistic behavior when it came to restitution. Where so-called “victims” of usury were known, the Church provided them with restitution from the usurer. But in cases where the “victims” were not known, the Church still collected restitution, which it supposedly directed to “the poor” or other “pious purposes.” Clerics were sold licenses empowering them to procure such restitution, and, as a result, the number of usurers prosecuted where there was no identifiable “victim” was far greater than it otherwise would have been. The death of a wealthy merchant often provided the Church with windfall revenue. In the 13th century, the Pope laid claim to the assets of deceased usurers in England. He directed his agents to “inquire concerning living (and dead) usurers and the thing wrongfully acquired by this wicked usury . . . and . . . compel opponents by ecclesiastical censure.”24

Also of note, Church officials regularly ignored the usury of their important friends—such as the Florentine bankers of the Medici family—while demonizing Jewish moneylenders and others. The result was that the image of the merchant usurer was dichotomized into “two disparate figures who stood at opposite poles: the degraded manifest usurer-pawnbroker, as often as not a Jew; and the city father, arbiter of elegance, patron of the arts, devout philanthropist, the merchant prince [yet no less a usurer!].”25

In theory, the Church was staunchly opposed to usury; in practice, however, it was violating its own moral law in myriad ways. The gap between the idea of usury as immoral and the idea of usury as impractical continued to widen as the evidence for its practicality continued to grow. The Church would not budge on the moral status, but it selectively practiced the vice nonetheless.

This selective approach often correlated with the economic times. When the economy was doing well, the Church, and the civil authorities, often looked the other way and let the usurers play. In bad times, however, moneylenders, particularly those who were Jewish, became the scapegoats. (This pattern continues today with anti-interest sentiment exploding whenever there is an economic downturn.)

To facilitate the Church’s selective opposition to usury, and to avoid the stigma associated with the practice, religious and civil authorities created many loopholes in the prohibition. Sometime around 1220, a new term was coined to replace certain forms of usury: the concept of interest.26 Under circumstances where usury was legal, it would now be called the collecting of interest. In cases where the practice was illegal, it would continue to be called usury.27

The modern word “interest” derives from the Latin verb intereo, which means “to be lost.” Interest was considered compensation for a loss that a creditor had incurred through lending. Compensation for a loan was illegal if it was a gain or a profit, but if it was reimbursement for a loss or an expense it was permissible. Interest was, in a sense, “damages,” not profit. Therefore, interest was sometimes allowed, but usury never.

So, increasingly, moneylenders were allowed to charge interest as a penalty for delayed repayment of a loan, provided that the lender preferred repayment to the delay plus interest (i.e., provided that it was seen as a sacrifice). Loans were often structured in advance so that such delays were anticipated and priced, and so the prohibition on usury was avoided. Many known moneylenders and bankers, such as the Belgian Lombards, derived their profits from such penalties—often 100 percent of the loan value.28

Over time, the view of costs or damages for the lender was expanded, and the lender’s time and effort in making the loan were permitted as a reason for charging interest. It even became permissible on occasion for a lender to charge interest if he could show an obvious, profitable alternative use for the money. If, by lending money, the lender suffered from the inability to make a profit elsewhere, the interest was allowed as compensation for the potential loss. Indeed, according to some sources, even risk—economic risk—was viewed as worthy of compensation. Therefore, if there was risk that the debtor would not pay, interest charged in advance was permissible.29

These were major breakthroughs. Recognition of the economic need for advanced calculation of a venture’s risk, and for compensation in advance for that risk, were giant steps in the understanding of and justification for moneylending.

But despite all these breakthroughs and the fact that economic activity continued to grow during the later Middle Ages, the prohibition on usury was still selectively enforced. Usurers were often forced to pay restitution; many were driven to poverty or excommunicated; and some, especially Jewish moneylenders, were violently attacked and murdered. It was still a very high-risk profession.

Not only were usurers in danger on Earth; they were also threatened with the “Divine justice” that awaited them after death.30 They were considered the devil’s henchmen and were sure to go to Hell. It was common to hear stories of usurers going mad in old age out of fear of what awaited them in the afterlife.

The Italian poet Dante (1265–1321) placed usurers in the seventh rung of Hell, incorporating the traditional medieval punishment for usury, which was eternity with a heavy bag of money around one’s neck: “From each neck there hung an enormous purse, each marked with its own beast and its own colors like a coat of arms. On these their streaming eyes appeared to feast.”31 Usurers in Dante’s Hell are forever weighed down by their greed. Profits, Dante believed, should be the fruits of labor—and usury entailed no actual work. He believed that the deliberate, intellectual choice to engage in such an unnatural action as usury was the worst kind of sin.32

It is a wonder that anyone—let alone so many—defied the law and their faith to practice moneylending. In this sense, the usurers were truly heroic. By defying religion and taking risks—both financial and existential—they made their material lives better. They made money. And by doing so, they made possible economic growth the likes of which had never been seen before. It was thanks to a series of loans from local moneylenders that Gutenberg, for example, was able to commercialize his printing press.33 The early bankers enabled advances in commerce and industry throughout Europe, financing the Age of Exploration as well as the early seeds of technology that would ultimately lead to the Industrial Revolution.

By the end of the Middle Ages, although everyone still condemned usury, few could deny its practical value. Everyone “knew” that moneylending was ethically wrong, but everyone could also see that it was economically beneficial. Its moral status was divinely decreed and appeared to be supported by reason, yet merchants and businessmen experienced its practical benefits daily. The thinkers of the day could not explain this apparent dichotomy. And, in the centuries that followed, although man’s understanding of the economic value of usury would advance, his moral attitude toward the practice would remain one of contempt.

Renaissance and Reformation
The start of the 16th century brought about a commercial boom in Europe. It was the Golden Age of Exploration. Trade routes opened to the New World and expanded to the East, bringing unprecedented trade and wealth to Europe. To fund this trade, to supply credit for commerce and the beginnings of industry, banks were established throughout Europe. Genoese and German bankers funded Spanish and Portuguese exploration and the importation of New World gold and silver. Part of what made this financial activity possible was the new tolerance, in some cities, of usury.

The Italian city of Genoa, for example, had a relatively relaxed attitude toward usury, and moneylenders created many ways to circumvent the existing prohibitions. It was clear to the city’s leaders that the financial activities of its merchants were crucial to Genoa’s prosperity, and the local courts regularly turned a blind eye to the usurious activities of its merchants and bankers. Although the Church often complained about these activities, Genoa’s political importance prevented the Church from acting against the city.

The Catholic Church’s official view toward usury remained unchanged until the 19th century, but the Reformation—which occurred principally in northern Europe—brought about a mild acceptance of usury. (This is likely one reason why southern Europe, which was heavily Catholic, lagged behind the rest of Europe economically from the 17th century onward.) Martin Luther (1483–1546), a leader of the Reformation, believed that usury was inevitable and should be permitted to some extent by civil law. Luther believed in the separation of civil law and Christian ethics. This view, however, resulted not from a belief in the separation of state and religion, but from his belief that the world and man were too corrupt to be guided by Christianity. Christian ethics and the Old Testament commandments, he argued, are utopian dreams, unconnected with political or economic reality. He deemed usury unpreventable and thus a matter for the secular authorities, who should permit the practice and control it.

However, Luther still considered usury a grave sin, and in his later years wrote:

[T]here is on earth no greater enemy of man, after the Devil, than a gripe-money and usurer, for he wants to be God over all men. . . . And since we break on the wheel and behead highwaymen, murderers, and housebreakers, how much more ought we to break on the wheel and kill . . . hunt down, curse, and behead all usurers!34

In other words, usury should be allowed by civil authorities (as in Genoa) because it is inevitable (men will be men), but it should be condemned in the harshest terms by the moral authority. This is the moral-practical dichotomy in action, sanctioned by an extremely malevolent view of man and the universe.

John Calvin, (1509–1564), another Reformation theologian, had a more lenient view than Luther. He rejected the notion that usury is actually banned in the Bible. Since Jews are allowed to charge interest from strangers, God cannot be against usury. It would be fantastic, Calvin thought, to imagine that by “strangers” God meant the enemies of the Jews; and it would be most unchristian to legalize discrimination. According to Calvin, usury does not always conflict with God’s law, so not all usurers need to be damned. There is a difference, he believed, between taking usury in the course of business and setting up business as a usurer. If a person collects interest on only one occasion, he is not a usurer. The crucial issue, Calvin thought, is the motive. If the motive is to help others, usury is good, but if the motive is personal profit, usury is evil.

Calvin claimed that the moral status of usury should be determined by the golden rule. It should be allowed only insofar as it does not run counter to Christian fairness and charity. Interest should never be charged to a man in urgent need, or to a poor man; the “welfare of the state” should always be considered. But it could be charged in cases where the borrower is wealthy and the interest will be used for Christian good. Thus he concluded that interest could neither be universally condemned nor universally permitted—but that, to protect the poor, a maximum rate should be set by law and never exceeded.35

Although the religious authorities did little to free usury from the taint of immorality, other thinkers were significantly furthering the economic understanding of the practice. In a book titled Treatise on Contracts and Usury, Molinaeus, a French jurist, made important contributions to liberate usury from Scholastic rationalism.36 By this time, there was sufficient evidence for a logical thinker to see the merits of moneylending. Against the argument that money is barren, Molinaeus (1500–1566) observed that everyday experience of business life showed that the use of any considerable sum of money yields a service of importance. He argued, by reference to observation and logic, that money, assisted by human effort, does “bear fruit” in the form of new wealth; the money enables the borrower to create goods that he otherwise would not have been able to create. Just as Galileo would later apply Aristotle’s method of observation and logic in refuting Aristotle’s specific ideas in physics, so Molinaeus used Aristotle’s method in refuting Aristotle’s basic objection to usury. Unfortunately, like Galileo, Molinaeus was to suffer for his ideas: The Church forced him into exile and banned his book. Nevertheless, his ideas on usury spread throughout Europe and had a significant impact on future discussions of moneylending.37

The prevailing view that emerged in the late 16th century (and that, to a large extent, is still with us today) is that money is not barren and that usury plays a productive role in the economy. Usury, however, is unchristian; it is motivated by a desire for profit and can be used to exploit the poor. It can be practical, but it is not moral; therefore, it should be controlled by the state and subjected to regulation in order to restrain the rich and protect the poor.

This Christian view has influenced almost all attitudes about usury since. In a sense, Luther and Calvin are responsible for today’s so-called “capitalism.” They are responsible for the guilt many people feel from making money and the guilt that causes people to eagerly regulate the functions of capitalists. Moreover, the Protestants were the first to explicitly assert and sanction the moral-practical dichotomy—the idea that the moral and the practical are necessarily at odds. Because of original sin, the Protestants argued, men are incapable of being good, and thus concessions must be made in accordance with their wicked nature. Men must be permitted to some extent to engage in practical matters such as usury, even though such practices are immoral.

In spite of its horrific view of man, life, and reality, Luther and Calvin’s brand of Christianity allowed individuals who were not intimidated by Christian theology to practice moneylending to some extent without legal persecution. Although still limited by government constraints, the chains were loosened, and this enabled economic progress through the periodic establishment of legal rates of interest.

The first country to establish a legal rate of interest was England in 1545 during the reign of Henry VIII. The rate was set at 10 percent. However, seven years later it was repealed, and usury was again completely banned. In an argument in 1571 to reinstate the bill, Mr. Molley, a lawyer representing the business interests in London, said before the House of Commons:

Since to take reasonably, or so that both parties might do good, was not hurtful; . . . God did not so hate it, that he did utterly forbid it, but to the Jews amongst themselves only, for that he willed they should lend as Brethren together; for unto all others they were at large; and therefore to this day they are the greatest Usurers in the World. But be it, as indeed it is, evil, and that men are men, no Saints, to do all these things perfectly, uprightly and Brotherly; . . . and better may it be born to permit a little, than utterly to take away and prohibit Traffick; which hardly may be maintained generally without this.

But it may be said, it is contrary to the direct word of God, and therefore an ill Law; if it were to appoint men to take Usury, it were to be disliked; but the difference is great between that and permitting or allowing, or suffering a matter to be unpunished.38

Observe that while pleading for a bill permitting usury—on the grounds that it is necessary (“Traffick . . . hardly may be maintained generally without [it]”)—Molley concedes that it is evil. This is the moral-practical dichotomy stated openly and in black-and-white terms, and it illustrates the general attitude of the era. The practice was now widely accepted as practical but still regarded as immoral, and the thinkers of the day grappled with this new context.

One of England’s most significant 17th-century intellectuals, Francis Bacon (1561–1626), realized the benefits that moneylending offered to merchants and traders by providing them with capital. He also recognized the usurer’s value in providing liquidity to consumers and businesses. And, although Bacon believed that the moral ideal would be lending at 0 percent interest, as the Bible requires, he, like Luther, saw this as utopian and held that “it is better to mitigate usury by declaration than suffer it to rage by connivance.” Bacon therefore proposed two rates of usury: one set at a maximum of 5 percent and allowable to everyone; and a second rate, higher than 5 percent, allowable only to certain licensed persons and lent only to known merchants. The license was to be sold by the state for a fee.39

Again, interest and usury were pitted against morality. But Bacon saw moneylending as so important to commerce that the legal rate of interest had to offer sufficient incentive to attract lenders. Bacon recognized that a higher rate of interest is economically justified by the nature of certain loans.40

The economic debate had shifted from whether usury should be legal to whether and at what level government should set the interest rate (a debate that, of course, continues to this day, with the Fed setting certain interest rates). As one scholar put it: “The legal toleration of interest marked a revolutionary change in public opinion and gave a clear indication of the divorce of ethics from economics under the pressure of an expanding economic system.”41

In spite of this progress, artists continued to compare usurers to idle drones, spiders, and bloodsuckers, and playwrights personified the moneygrubbing usurers in characters such as Sir Giles Overreach, Messrs. Mammon, Lucre, Hoard, Gripe, and Bloodhound. Probably the greatest work of art vilifying the usurer was written during this period—TheMerchant of Venice by Shakespeare (1564–1616), which immortalized the character of the evil Jewish usurer, Shylock.

In The Merchant of Venice, Bassanio, a poor nobleman, needs cash in order to court the heiress, Portia. Bassanio goes to a Jewish moneylender, Shylock, for a loan, bringing his wealthy friend, Antonio, to stand as surety for it. Shylock, who has suffered great rudeness from Antonio in business, demands as security for the loan not Antonio’s property, which he identifies as being at risk, but a pound of his flesh.42

The conflict between Shylock and Antonio incorporates all the elements of the arguments against usury. Antonio, the Christian, lends money and demands no interest. As Shylock describes him:

Shy. [Aside.] How like a fawning publican he looks!
I hate him for he is a Christian;
But more for that in low simplicity
He lends out money gratis, and brings down
The rate of usance here with us in Venice.
If I can catch him once upon the hip,
I will feed fat the ancient grudge I bear him.
He hates our sacred nation, and he rails,
Even there where merchants most do congregate,
On me, my bargains, and my well-won thrift,
Which he calls interest. Cursed be my tribe,
If I forgive him!43

Shylock takes usury. He is portrayed as the lowly, angry, vengeful, and greedy Jew. When his daughter elopes and takes her father’s money with her, he cries, “My daughter! O my ducats! Oh my daughter!”44 —not sure for which he cares more.

It is clear that Shakespeare understood the issues involved in usury. Note Shylock’s (legitimate) hostility toward Antonio because Antonio loaned money without charging interest and thus brought down the market rate of interest in Venice. Even Aristotle’s “barren money” argument is present. Antonio, provoking Shylock, says:

If thou wilt lend this money, lend it not
As to thy friends,—for when did friendship take
A breed for barren metal of his friend?—
But lend it rather to thine enemy:
Who if he break, thou mayst with better face
Exact the penalty.45

Friends do not take “breed for barren metal” from friends; usury is something one takes only from an enemy.

Great art plays a crucial role in shaping popular attitudes, and Shakespeare’s depiction of Shylock, like Dante’s depiction of usurers, concretized for generations the dichotomous view of moneylending and thus helped entrench the alleged link between usury and evil. As late as 1600, medieval moral and economic theories were alive and well, even if they were increasingly out of step with the economic practice of the time.

The Enlightenment
During the Enlightenment, the European economy continued to grow, culminating with the Industrial Revolution. This growth involved increased activity in every sector of the economy. Banking houses were established to provide credit to a wide array of economic endeavors. The Barring Brothers and the House of Rothschild were just the largest of the many banks that would ultimately help fuel the Industrial Revolution, funding railroads, factories, ports, and industry in general.

Economic understanding of the important productive role of usury continued to improve over the next four hundred years. Yet, the moral evaluation of usury would change very little. The morality of altruism—the notion that self-sacrifice is moral and that self-interest is evil—was embraced and defended by many Enlightenment intellectuals and continued to hamper the acceptability of usury. After all, usury is a naked example of the pursuit of profit—which is patently self-interested. Further, it still seemed to the thinkers of the time that usury could be a zero-sum transaction—that a rich lender might profit at the expense of a poor borrower. Even a better conception of usury—let alone the misconception of it being a zero-sum transaction—is anathema to altruism, which demands the opposite of personal profit: self-sacrifice for the sake of others.

In the mid-17th century, northern Europe was home to a new generation of scholars who recognized that usury served an essential economic purpose, and that it should be allowed freely. Three men made significant contributions in this regard.

Claudius Salmasius (1588–1653), a French scholar teaching in Holland, thoroughly refuted the claims about the “barrenness” of moneylending; he showed the important productive function of usury and even suggested that there should be more usurers, since competition between them would reduce the rate of interest. Other Dutch scholars agreed with him, and, partially as a result of this, Holland became especially tolerant of usury, making it legal at times. Consequently, the leading banks of the era were found in Holland, and it became the world’s commercial and financial center, the wealthiest state in Europe, and the envy of the world.46

Robert Jacques Turgot (1727–1781), a French economist, was the first to identify usury’s connection to property rights. He argued that a creditor has the right to dispose of his money in any way he wishes and at whatever rate the market will bear, because it is his property. Turgot was also the first economist to fully understand that the passing of time changes the value of money. He saw the difference between the present value and the future value of money—concepts that are at the heart of any modern financial analysis. According to Turgot: “If . . . two gentlemen suppose that a sum of 1000 Francs and a promise of 1000 Francs possess exactly the same value, they put forward a still more absurd supposition; for if these two things were of equal value, why should any one borrow at all?”47 Turgot even repudiated the medieval notion that time belonged to God. Time, he argued, belongs to the individual who uses it and therefore time could be sold.48

During the same period, the British philosopher Jeremy Bentham (1748–1832) wrote a treatise entitled A Defense of Usury. Bentham argued that any restrictions on interest rates were economically harmful because they restricted an innovator’s ability to raise capital. Since innovative trades inherently involved high risk, they could only be funded at high interest rates. Limits on permissible interest rates, he argued, would kill innovation—the engine of growth. Correcting another medieval error, Bentham also showed that restrictive usury laws actually harmed the borrowers. Such restrictions cause the credit markets to shrink while demand for credit remains the same or goes up; thus, potential borrowers have to seek loans in an illegal market where they would have to pay a premium for the additional risk of illegal trading.

Bentham’s most important contribution was his advocacy of contractual freedom:

My neighbours, being at liberty, have happened to concur among themselves in dealing at a certain rate of interest. I, who have money to lend, and Titus, who wants to borrow it of me, would be glad, the one of us to accept, the other to give, an interest somewhat higher than theirs: Why is the liberty they exercise to be made a pretence for depriving me and Titus of ours.49

This was perhaps the first attempt at a moral defense of usury.

Unfortunately, Bentham and his followers undercut this effort with their philosophy of utilitarianism, according to which rights, liberty, and therefore moneylending, were valuable only insofar as they increased “social utility”: “the greatest good for the greatest number.” Bentham famously dismissed individual rights—the idea that each person should be free to act on his own judgment—as “nonsense upon stilts.”50 He embraced the idea that the individual has a “duty” to serve the well-being of the collective, or, as he put it, the “general mass of felicity.”51 Thus, in addition to undercutting Turgot’s major achievement, Bentham also doomed the first effort at a moral defense of usury—which he himself had proposed.

An explicitly utilitarian attempt at a moral defense of usury was launched in 1774 in the anonymously published Letters on Usury and Interest. The goal of the book was to explain why usury should be accepted in England of the 18th century, and why this acceptance did not contradict the Church’s teachings. The ultimate reason, the author argued, is one of utility:

Here, then, is a sure and infallible rule to judge of the lawfulness of a practice. Is it useful to the State? Is it beneficial to the individuals that compose it? Either of these is sufficient to obtain a tolerance; but both together vest it with a character of justice and equity. . . . In fact, if we look into the laws of different nations concerning usury, we shall find that they are all formed on the principle of public utility. In those states where usury was found hurtful to society, it was prohibited. In those where it was neither hurtful nor very beneficial, it was tolerated. In those where it was useful, it was authorized. In ours, it is absolutely necessary.52

And:

[T]he practice of lending money to interest is in this nation, and under this constitution, beneficial to all degrees; therefore it is beneficial to society. I say in this nation; which, as long as it continues to be a commercial one, must be chiefly supported by interest; for interest is the soul of credit and credit is the soul of commerce.53

Although the utilitarian argument in defense of usury contains some economic truth, it is morally bankrupt. Utilitarian moral reasoning for the propriety of usury depends on the perceived benefits of the practice to the collective or the nation. But what happens, for example, when usury in the form of sub-prime mortgage loans creates distress for a significant number of people and financial turmoil in some markets? How can it be justified? Indeed, it cannot. The utilitarian argument collapses in the face of any such economic problem, leaving moneylenders exposed to the wrath of the public and to the whips and chains of politicians seeking a scapegoat for the crisis.

Although Salmasius, Turgot, and Bentham made significant progress in understanding the economic and political value of usury, not all their fellow intellectuals followed suit. The father of economics, Adam Smith (1723–1790), wrote: “As something can everywhere be made by the use of money, something ought everywhere to be paid for the use of it.”54 Simple and elegant. Yet, Smith also believed that the government must control the rate of interest. He believed that unfettered markets would create excessively high interest rates, which would hurt the economy—which, in turn, would harm society.55 Because Smith thought that society’s welfare was the only justification for usury, he held that the government must intervene to correct the errors of the “invisible hand.”

Although Smith was a great innovator in economics, philosophically, he was a follower. He accepted the common philosophical ideas of his time, including altruism, of which utilitarianism is a form. Like Bentham, he justified capitalism only through its social benefits. If his projections of what would come to pass in a fully free market amounted to a less-than-optimal solution for society, then he advocated government intervention. Government intervention is the logical outcome of any utilitarian defense of usury.

(Smith’s idea that there need be a “perfect” legal interest rate remains with us to this day. His notion of such a rate was that it should be slightly higher than the market rate—what he called the “golden mean.” The chairman of the Federal Reserve is today’s very visible hand, constantly searching for the “perfect” rate or “golden mean” by alternately establishing artificially low and artificially high rates.)

Following Bentham and Smith, all significant 19th-century economists—such as David Ricardo, Jean Baptiste Say, and John Stuart Mill—considered the economic importance of usury to be obvious and argued that interest rates should be determined by freely contracting individuals. These economists, followed later by the Austrians—especially Carl Menger, Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk, and Ludwig von Mises—developed sound theories of the productivity of interest and gained a significant economic understanding of its practical role. But the moral-practical dichotomy inherent in their altruistic, utilitarian, social justification for usury remained in play, and the practice continued to be morally condemned and thus heavily regulated if not outlawed.

The 19th and 20th Centuries
Despite their flaws, the thinkers of the Enlightenment had created sufficient economic understanding to fuel the Industrial Revolution throughout the 19th century. Economically and politically, facts and reason had triumphed over faith; a sense of individualism had taken hold; the practicality of the profit motive had become clear; and, relative to eras past, the West was thriving.

Morally and philosophically, however, big trouble was brewing. As capitalism neared a glorious maturity, a new, more consistent brand of altruism, created by Kant, Hegel, and their followers, was sweeping Europe. At the political-economic level, this movement manifested itself in the ideas of Karl Marx (1818–1883).

Marx, exploiting the errors of the Classical economists, professed the medieval notion that all production is a result of manual labor; but he also elaborated, claiming that laborers do not retain the wealth they create. The capitalists, he said, take advantage of their control over the means of production—secured to them by private property—and “loot” the laborers’ work. According to Marx, moneylending and other financial activities are not productive, but exploitative; moneylenders exert no effort, do no productive work, and yet reap the rewards of production through usury.56 As one 20th-century Marxist put it: “The major argument against usury is that labor constitutes the true source of wealth.”57 Marx adopted all the medieval clichés, including the notion that Jews are devious, conniving money-grubbers.

What is the profane basis of Judaism? Practical need, self-interest. What is the worldly cult of the Jew? Huckstering. What is his worldly god? Money.

Money is the jealous god of Israel, beside which no other god may exist. Money abases all the gods of mankind and changes them into commodities.58

Marx believed that the Jews were evil—not because of their religion, as others were clamoring at the time—but because they pursued their own selfish interests and sought to make money. And Marxists were not alone in their contempt for these qualities.

Artists who, like Marx, resented capitalists in general and moneylenders in particular, dominated Western culture in the 19th century. In Dickens’s A Christmas Carol, we see the moneygrubbing Ebenezer Scrooge. In Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, the disgusting old lady whom Raskalnikov murders is a usurer. And in The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoyevsky writes:

It was known too that the young person had . . . been given to what is called “speculation,” and that she had shown marked abilities in the direction, so that many people began to say that she was no better than a Jew. It was not that she lent money on interest, but it was known, for instance, that she had for some time past, in partnership with old Karamazov, actually invested in the purchase of bad debts for a trifle, a tenth of their nominal value, and afterwards had made out of them ten times their value.59

In other words, she was what in the 1980s became known as a “vulture” capitalist buying up distressed debt.

Under Marx’s influential ideas, and given the culture-wide contempt for moneylenders, the great era of capitalism—of thriving banks and general financial success—was petering out. Popular sentiment concerning usury was reverting to a dark-ages type of hatred. Marx and company put the moneylenders back into Dante’s Inferno, and to this day they have not been able to escape.

The need for capital, however, would not be suppressed by the label “immoral.” People still sought to start businesses and purchase homes; thus usury was still seen as practical. Like the Church of the Middle Ages, people found themselves simultaneously condemning the practice and engaging in it.

Consequently, just as the term “interest” had been coined in the Middle Ages to facilitate the Church’s selective opposition to usury and to avoid the stigma associated with the practice, so modern man employed the term for the same purpose. The concept of moneylending was again split into two allegedly different concepts: the charging of “interest” and the practice of “usury.” Lending at “interest” came to designate lower-premium, lower-risk, less-greedy lending, while “usury” came to mean specifically higher-premium, higher-risk, more-greedy lending. This artificial division enabled the wealthier, more powerful, more influential people to freely engage in moneylending with the one hand, while continuing to condemn the practice with the other. Loans made to lower-risk, higher-income borrowers would be treated as morally acceptable, while those made to higher-risk, lower-income borrowers would remain morally contemptible. (The term “usury” is now almost universally taken to mean “excessive” or illegal premium on loans, while the term “interest” designates tolerable or legal premium.)

From the 19th century onward, in the United States and in most other countries, usury laws would restrict the rates of interest that could be charged on loans, and there would be an ongoing battle between businessmen and legislators over what those rates should be. These laws, too, are still with us.

As Bentham predicted, such laws harm not only lenders but also borrowers, who are driven into the shadows where they procure shady and often illegal loans in order to acquire the capital they need for their endeavors. And given the extra risk posed by potential legal complications for the lenders, these loans are sold at substantially higher interest rates than they would be if moneylending were fully legal and unregulated.

In the United States, demand for high-risk loans has always existed, and entrepreneurs have always arisen to service the demand for funds. They have been scorned, condemned to Hell, assaulted, jailed, and generally treated like the usurers of the Middle Ages—but they have relentlessly supplied the capital that has enabled Americans to achieve unprecedented levels of productiveness and prosperity.

The earliest known advertisement for a small-loan service in an American newspaper appeared in the Chicago Tribune in November 1869. By 1872, the industry was prospering. Loans collateralized by furniture, diamonds, warehouse receipts, houses, and pianos were available (called chattel loans). The first salary loan office (offering loans made in advance of a paycheck) was opened by John Mulholland in Kansas City in 1893. Within fifteen years he had offices all across the country. The going rate on a chattel loan was 10 percent a month for loans under $50, and 5-7 percent a month for larger loans. Some loans were made at very high rates, occasionally over 100 percent a month.60

The reason rates were so high is because of the number of defaults. With high rates in play, the losses on loans in default could ordinarily be absorbed as a cost of doing business. In this respect, the 19th-century small-loan business was a precursor of the 20th-century “junk” bond business or the 21st-century sub-prime mortgage lender. However, unlike the “junk” bond salesman, who had recourse to the law in cases of default or bankruptcy, these small-loan men operated on the fringes of society—and often outside the law. Because of the social stigmatization and legal isolation of the creditors, legal recourse against a defaulting borrower was generally unavailable to a usurer. Yet these back-alley loans provided a valuable service—one for which there was great demand—and they enabled many people to start their own businesses or improve their lives in other ways.

Of course, whereas most of these borrowers paid off their loans and succeeded in their endeavors, many of them got into financial trouble—and the latter cases, not the former, were widely publicized. The moneylenders were blamed, and restrictions were multiplied and tightened.

In spite of all the restrictions, laws, and persecutions, the market found ways to continue. In 1910, Arthur Morris set up the first bank in America with the express purpose of providing small loans to individuals at interest rates based on the borrower’s “character and earning power.” In spite of the usury limit of 6 percent that existed in Virginia at the time, Morris’s bank found ways, as did usurers in the Middle Ages, to make loans at what appeared to be a 6 percent interest rate while the actual rates were much higher and more appropriate. For instance, a loan for $100 might be made as follows: A commission of 2 percent plus the 6 percent legal rate would be taken off the top in advance; thus the borrower would receive $92. Then he would repay the loan at $2 a week over fifty weeks. The effective compound annual interest rate on such a loan was in excess of 18 percent. And penalties would be assessed for any delinquent payments.61 Such camouflaged interest rates were a throwback to the Middle Ages, when bankers developed innovative ways to circumvent the restrictions on usury established by the Church. And, as in the Middle Ages, such lending became common as the demand for capital was widespread. Consequently, these banks multiplied and thrived—for a while.

(Today’s credit card industry is the successor to such institutions. Credit card lenders charge high interest rates to high-risk customers, and penalties for delinquency. And borrowers use these loans for consumption as well as to start or fund small businesses. And, of course, the credit card industry is regularly attacked for its high rates of interest and its “exploitation” of customers. To this day, credit card interest rates are restricted by usury laws, and legislation attempting to further restrict these rates is periodically introduced.)

In 1913, in New York, a moneylender who issued loans to people who could not get them at conventional banks appeared before a court on the charge of usury. In the decision, the judge wrote:

You are one of the most contemptible usurers in your unspeakable business. The poor people must be protected from such sharks as you, and we must trust that your conviction and sentence will be a notice to you and all your kind that the courts have found a way to put a stop to usury. Men of your type are a curse to the community, and the money they gain is blood money.62

This ruling is indicative of the general attitude toward usurers at the time. The moral-practical dichotomy was alive and kicking, and the moneylenders were taking the blows. Although their practical value to the economy was now clear, their moral status as evil was still common “sense.” And the intellectuals of the day would only exacerbate the problem.

The most influential economist of the 20th century was John Maynard Keynes (1883–1946), whose ideas not only shaped the theoretical field of modern economics but also played a major role in shaping government policies in the United States and around the world. Although Keynes allegedly rejected Marx’s ideas, he shared Marx’s hatred of the profit motive and usury. He also agreed with Adam Smith that government must control interest rates; otherwise investment and thus society would suffer. And he revived the old Reformation idea that usury is a necessary evil:

When the accumulation of wealth is no longer of high social importance, there will be great changes in the code of morals. We shall be able to rid ourselves of many of the pseudo-moral principles which have hag-ridden us for two hundred years, by which we have exalted some of the most distasteful of human qualities into the position of the highest virtues. . . . But beware! The time for all this is not yet. For at least another hundred years we must pretend to ourselves and to everyone that fair is foul and foul is fair; for foul is useful and fair is not. Avarice and usury and precaution must be our gods for a little longer still. For only they can lead us out of the tunnel of economic necessity into daylight.63

Although Keynes and other economists and intellectuals of the day recognized the need of usury, they universally condemned the practice and its practitioners as foul and unfair. Thus, regardless of widespread recognition of the fact that usury is a boon to the economy, when the Great Depression occurred in the United States, the moneylenders on Wall Street were blamed. As Franklin Delano Roosevelt put it:

The rulers of the exchange of mankind’s goods have failed, through their own stubbornness and their own incompetence, have admitted failure, and have abdicated. Practices of the unscrupulous money changers stand indicted in the court of public opinion, rejected by the hearts and minds of men . . . [We must] apply social values more noble than mere monetary profit.64

And so the “solution” to the problems of the Great Depression was greater government intervention throughout the economy—especially in the regulation of interest and the institutions that deal in it. After 1933, banks were restricted in all aspects of their activity: the interest rates they could pay their clients, the rates they could charge, and to whom they could lend. In 1934, the greatest bank in American history, J. P. Morgan, was broken up by the government into several companies. The massive regulations and coercive restructurings of the 1930s illustrate the continuing contempt for the practice of taking interest on loans and the continuing distrust of those—now mainly bankers—who engage in this activity. (We paid a dear price for those regulations with the savings and loan crisis of the 1970s and 1980s, which cost American taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars.65 And we continue to pay the price of these regulations in higher taxes, greater financial costs, lost innovation, and stifled economic growth.)

The 21st Century
From ancient Greece and Rome, to the Dark and Middle Ages, to the Renaissance and Reformation, to the 19th and 20th centuries, moneylending has been morally condemned and legally restrained. Today, at the dawn of the 21st century, moneylending remains a pariah.

One of the latest victims of this moral antagonism is the business of providing payday loans. This highly popular and beneficial service has been branded with the scarlet letter “U”; consequently, despite the great demand for these loans, the practice has been relegated to the fringes of society and the edge of the law. These loans carry annualized interest rates as high as 1000 percent, because they are typically very short term (i.e., to be paid back on payday). By some estimates there are 25,000 payday stores across America, and it is “a $6 billion dollar industry serving 15 million people every month.”66 The institutions issuing these loans have found ways, just as banks always have, to circumvent state usury laws. Bank regulators have severely restricted the ability of community banks to offer payday loans or even to work with payday loan offices, more than 13 states have banned them altogether, and Congress is currently looking at ways to ban all payday loans.67 This is in spite of the fact that demand for these loans is soaring and that they serve a genuine economic need, that they are a real value for low-income households. As the Wall Street Journal reports, “Georgia outlawed payday loans in 2004, and thousands of workers have since taken to traveling over the border to find payday stores in Tennessee, Florida and South Carolina. So the effect of the ban has been to increase consumer credit costs and inconvenience for Georgia consumers.”68

A story in the LA Weekly, titled “Shylock 2000”—ignoring the great demand for payday loans, ignoring the economic value they provide to countless borrowers, and ignoring the fact that the loans are made by mutual consent to mutual advantage—proceeded to describe horrific stories of borrowers who have gone bankrupt. The article concluded: “What’s astonishing about this story is that, 400 years after Shakespeare created the avaricious lender Shylock, such usury may be perfectly legal.”69

What is truly astonishing is that after centuries of moneylenders providing capital and opportunities to billions of willing people on mutually agreed upon terms, the image of these persistent businessmen has not advanced beyond that of Shylock.

The “Shylocks” du jour, of course, are the sub-prime mortgage lenders, with whom this article began. These lenders provided mortgages designed to enable low-income borrowers to buy homes. Because the default rate among these borrowers is relatively high, the loans are recognized as high-risk transactions and are sold at correspondingly high rates of interest. Although it is common knowledge that many of these loans are now in default, and although it is widely believed that the lenders are to blame for the situation, what is not well known is, as Paul Harvey would say, “the rest of the story.”

The tremendous growth in this industry is a direct consequence of government policy. Since the 1930s, the U.S. government has encouraged home ownership among all Americans—but especially among those in lower income brackets. To this end, the government created the Federal Home Loan Banks (which are exempt from state and local income taxes) to provide incentives for smaller banks to make mortgage loans to low-income Americans. Congress passed the Community Reinvestment Act, which requires banks to invest in their local communities, including by providing mortgage loans to people in low-income brackets. The government created Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, both of which have a mandate to issue and guarantee mortgage loans to low-income borrowers.

In recent years, all these government schemes and more (e.g., artificially low-interest rates orchestrated by the Fed) led to a frenzy of borrowing and lending. The bottom line is that the government has artificially mitigated lenders’ risk, and it has done so on the perverse, altruistic premise that “society” has a moral duty to increase home ownership among low-income Americans. The consequence of this folly has been a significant increase in delinquent loans and foreclosures, which has led to wider financial problems at banks and at other institutions that purchased the mortgages in the secondary markets.

Any objective evaluation of the facts would place the blame for this disaster on the government policies that caused it. But no—just as in the past, the lenders are being blamed and scapegoated.

Although some of these lenders clearly did take irrational risks on many of these loans, that should be their own problem, and they should have to suffer the consequences of their irrational actions—whether significant financial loss or bankruptcy. (The government most certainly should not bail them out.) However, without the perception of reduced risk provided by government meddling in the economy, far fewer lenders would have been so frivolous.

Further, the number of people benefiting from sub-prime mortgage loans, which make it possible for many people to purchase a home for the first time, is in the millions—and the vast majority of these borrowers are not delinquent or in default; rather, they are paying off their loans and enjoying their homes, a fact never mentioned by the media.

It should also be noted that, whereas the mortgage companies are blamed for all the defaulting loans, no blame is placed on the irresponsible borrowers who took upon themselves debt that they knew—or should have known—they could not handle.

After four hundred years of markets proving the incredible benefits generated by moneylending, intellectuals, journalists, and politicians still rail against lenders and their institutions. And, in spite of all the damage done by legal restrictions on interest, regulation of moneylenders, and government interference in financial markets, whenever there is an economic “crisis,” there is invariably a wave of demand for more of these controls, not less.

Moneylenders are still blamed for recessions; they are still accused of being greedy and of taking advantage of the poor; they are still portrayed on TV and in movies as slick, murderous villains; and they are still distrusted by almost everyone. (According to a recent poll, only 16 percent of Americans have substantial confidence in the American financial industry.)70 Thus, it should come as no surprise that the financial sector is the most regulated, most controlled industry in America today.

But what explains the ongoing antipathy toward, distrust of, and coercion against these bearers of capital and opportunity? What explains the modern anti-moneylending mentality? Why are moneylenders today held in essentially the same ill repute as they were in the Middle Ages?

The explanation for this lies in the fact that, fundamentally, 21st-century ethics is no different from the ethics of the Middle Ages.

All parties in the assault on usury share a common ethical root: altruism—belief in the notion that self-sacrifice is moral and self-interest is evil. This is the source of the problem. So long as self-interest is condemned, neither usury in particular, nor profit in general, can be seen as good—both will be seen as evil.

Moneylending cannot be defended by reference to its economic practicality alone. If moneylending is to be recognized as a fully legitimate practice and defended accordingly, then its defenders must discover and embrace a new code of ethics, one that upholds self-interest—and thus personal profit—as moral.

Conclusion
Although serious economists today uniformly recognize the economic benefits of charging interest or usury on loans, they rarely, if ever, attempt a philosophical or moral defense of this position. Today’s economists either reject philosophy completely or adopt the moral-practical split, accepting the notion that although usury is practical, it is either immoral or, at best, amoral.

Modern philosophers, for the most part, have no interest in the topic at all, partly because it requires them to deal with reality, and partly because they believe self-interest, capitalism, and everything they entail, to be evil. Today’s philosophers, almost to a man, accept self-sacrifice as the standard of morality and physical labor as the source of wealth. Thus, to the extent that they refer to moneylending at all, they consider it unquestionably unjust, and positions to the contrary unworthy of debate.

It is time to set the record straight.

Whereas Aristotle united productiveness with morality and thereby condemned usury as immoral based on his mistaken belief that the practice is unproductive—and whereas everyone since Aristotle (including contemporary economists and philosophers) has severed productiveness from morality and condemned usury on biblical or altruistic grounds as immoral (or at best amoral)—what is needed is a view that again unifies productiveness and morality, but that also sees usury as productive, and morality as the means to practical success on earth. What is needed is the economic knowledge of the last millennium combined with a new moral theory—one that upholds the morality of self-interest and thus the virtue of personal profit.

Let us first condense the key economic points; then we will turn to a brief indication of the morality of self-interest.

The crucial economic knowledge necessary to a proper defense of usury includes an understanding of why lenders charge interest on money—and why they would do so even in a risk-free, noninflationary environment. Lenders charge interest because their money has alternative uses—uses they temporarily forego by lending the money to borrowers. When a lender lends money, he is thereby unable to use that money toward some benefit or profit for himself. Had he not lent it, he could have spent it on consumer goods that he would have enjoyed, or he could have invested it in alternative moneymaking ventures. And the longer the term of the loan, the longer the lender must postpone his alternative use of the money. Thus interest is charged because the lender views the loan as a better, more profitable use of his money over the period of the loan than any of his alternative uses of the same funds over the same time; he estimates that, given the interest charged, the benefit to him is greater from making the loan than from any other use of his capital.71

A lender tries to calculate in advance the likelihood or unlikelihood that he will be repaid all his capital plus the interest. The less convinced he is that a loan will be repaid, the higher the interest rate he will charge. Higher rates enable lenders to profit for their willingness to take greater risks. The practice of charging interest is therefore an expression of the human ability to project the future, to plan, to analyze, to calculate risk, and to act in the face of uncertainty. In a word, it is an expression of man’s ability to reason. The better a lender’s thinking, the more money he will make.

Another economic principle that is essential to a proper defense of usury is recognition of the fact that moneylending is productive. This fact was made increasingly clear over the centuries, and today it is incontrovertible. By choosing to whom he will lend money, the moneylender determines which projects he will help bring into existence and which individuals he will provide with opportunities to improve the quality of their lives and his. Thus, lenders make themselves money by rewarding people for the virtues of innovation, productiveness, personal responsibility, and entrepreneurial talent; and they withhold their sanction, thus minimizing their losses, from people who exhibit signs of stagnation, laziness, irresponsibility, and inefficiency. The lender, in seeking profit, does not consider the well-being of society or of the borrower. Rather, he assesses his alternatives, evaluates the risk, and seeks the greatest return on his investment.

And, of course, lent money is not “barren”; it is fruitful: It enables borrowers to improve their lives or produce new goods or services. Nor is moneylending a zero-sum game: Both the borrower and the lender benefit from the exchange (as ultimately does everyone involved in the economy). The lender makes a profit, and the borrower gets to use capital—whether for consumption or investment purposes—that he otherwise would not be able to use.72

An understanding of these and other economic principles is necessary to defend the practice of usury. But such an understanding is not sufficient to defend the practice. From the brief history we have recounted, it is evident that all commentators on usury from the beginning of time have known that those who charge interest are self-interested, that the very nature of their activity is motivated by personal profit. Thus, in order to defend moneylenders, their institutions, and the kind of world they make possible, one must be armed with a moral code that recognizes rational self-interest and therefore the pursuit of profit as moral, and that consequently regards productivity as a virtue and upholds man’s right to his property and to his time.

There is such a morality: It is Ayn Rand’s Objectivist ethics, or rational egoism, and it is the missing link in the defense of usury (and capitalism in general).

According to rational egoism, man’s life—the life of each individual man—is the standard of moral value, and his reasoning mind is his basic means of living. Being moral, on this view, consists in thinking and producing the values on which one’s life and happiness depend—while leaving others free to think and act on their own judgment for their own sake. The Objectivist ethics holds that people should act rationally, in their own long-term best interest; that each person is the proper beneficiary of his own actions; that each person has a moral right to keep, use, and dispose of the product of his efforts; and that each individual is capable of thinking for himself, of producing values, and of deciding whether, with whom, and on what terms he will trade. It is a morality of self-interest, individual rights, and personal responsibility. And it is grounded in the fundamental fact of human nature: the fact that man’s basic means of living is his ability to reason.

Ayn Rand identified the principle that the greatest productive, life-serving power on earth is not human muscle but the human mind. Consequently, she regarded profit-seeking—the use of the mind to identify, produce, and trade life-serving values—as the essence of being moral.73

Ayn Rand’s Objectivist ethics is essential to the defense of moneylending. It provides the moral foundation without which economic arguments in defense of usury cannot prevail. It demonstrates why moneylending is supremely moral.

The Objectivist ethics frees moneylenders from the shackles of Dante’s inferno, enables them to brush off Shakespeare’s ridicule, and empowers them to take an irrefutable moral stand against persecution and regulation by the state. The day that this moral code becomes widely embraced will be the day that moneylenders—and every other producer of value—will be completely free to charge whatever rates their customers will pay and to reap the rewards righteously and proudly.

If this moral ideal were made a political reality, then, for the first time in history, moneylenders, bankers, and their institutions would be legally permitted and morally encouraged to work to their fullest potential, making profits by providing the lifeblood of capital to our economy. Given what these heroes have achieved while scorned and shackled, it is hard to imagine what their productive achievements would be if they were revered and freed.

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Bibliography
Buchan, James. Frozen Desire: The Meaning of Money. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1997.

Cohen, Edward E. Athenian Economy and Society. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1992.

Davies, Glyn. A History of Money. Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 1994.

Ferguson, Niall. The Cash Nexus. New York: Basic Books, 2001.

Grant, James. Money of the Mind. New York: The Noonday Press, 1994.

Homer, Sidney. A History of Interest Rates. New Brunswick: Rutgers University Press, 1963.

Le Goff, Jacques. Your Money or Your Life. New York: Zone Books, 1988.

Lewis, Michael. The Money Culture. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1991.

Lockman, Vic. Money, Banking, and Usury (pamphlet). Grants Pass, OR: Westminster Teaching Materials, 1991.

Murray, J. B. C. The History of Usury. Philadelphia: J. B. Lippincott & Co., 1866.

Sobel, Robert. Dangerous Dreamers. New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1993.

von Böhm-Bawerk, Eugen. Capital and Interest: A Critical History of Economical Theory. Books I–III. William A. Smart, translator. London: Macmillan and Co., 1890.

Endnotes
Acknowledgments: The author would like to thank the following people for their assistance and comments on this article: Elan Journo, Onkar Ghate, Sean Green, John D. Lewis, John P. McCaskey, and Craig Biddle.

1 Aristotle, The Politics of Aristotle, translated by Benjamin Jowett (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1885), book 1, chapter 10, p. 19.

2 Plutarch, Plutarch’s Morals, translated by William Watson Goodwin (Boston: Little, Brown, & Company, 1874), pp. 412–24.

3 Lewis H. Haney, History of Economic Thought (New York: The Macmillan Company, 1920), p. 71.

4 Anthony Trollope, Life of Cicero (Kessinger Publishing, 2004), p. 70.

5 William Manchester, A World Lit Only by Fire (Boston: Back Bay Books, 1993), pp. 5–6.

6 Glyn Davies, A History of Money: From Ancient Times to the Present Day (Cardiff: University of Wales Press, 1994), p. 117.

7 Ezekiel 18:13.

8 Deuteronomy 23:19–20.

9 Luke 6:35.

10 Jacques Le Goff, Your Money Or Your Life (New York: Zone Books, 1988), p. 26.

11 Edward Henry Palmer, A History of the Jewish Nation (London: Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, 1874), pp. 253–54. And www.routledge-ny.com/ref/middleages/Jewish/England.pdf.

12 Byrne is here quoting Jacob Twinger of Königshofen, a 14th-century priest.

13 Joseph Patrick Byrne, The Black Death (Westport: Greenwood Press, 2004), p. 84.

14 Sidney Homer, A History of Interest Rates (New Brunswick: Rutgers University Press, 1963), p. 71.

15 Sermon by Jacques de Vitry, “Ad status” 59,14, quoted in Le Goff, Your Money Or Your Life, pp. 56–57.

16 See Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, part II, section II, question 78, article 1.

17 Ibid.

18 Frank Wilson Blackmar, Economics (New York: The Macmillan Company, 1907), p. 178.

19 Le Goff, Your Money Or Your Life, pp. 33–45.

20 Jeremy Rifkin, The European Dream (Cambridge: Polity, 2004), p. 105.

21 Le Goff, Your Money Or Your Life, p. 30.

22 Davies, A History of Money, p. 154.

23 Ibid., pp. 146–74.

24 Robert Burton, Sacred Trust (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1996), p. 118.

25 Ibid., pp. 118–20.

26 Homer, A History of Interest Rates, p. 73.

27 As Blackstone’s Commentaries on the Laws of England puts it: “When money is lent on a contract to receive not only the principal sum again, but also an increase by way of compensation for the use, the increase is called interest by those who think it lawful, and usury by those who do not.” p. 1336.

28 Homer, A History of Interest Rates, pp. 72–74.

29 Le Goff, Your Money Or Your Life, p. 74.

30 Ibid., pp. 47–64.

31 Dante Alighieri, The Inferno, Canto XVII, lines 51–54.

32 Dorothy M. DiOrio, “Dante’s Condemnation of Usury,” in Re: Artes Liberales V, no. 1, 1978, pp. 17–25.

33 Davies, A History of Money, pp. 177–78.

34 Paul M. Johnson, A History of the Jews (New York: HarperCollins, 1988), p. 242.

35 Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk, Capital and Interest: A Critical History of Economical Theory (London: Macmillan and Co., 1890), translated by William A. Smart, book I, chapter III.

36 Charles Dumoulin (Latinized as Molinaeus), Treatise on Contracts and Usury (1546).

37 von Böhm-Bawerk, Capital and Interest, book I, chapter III.

38 Sir Simonds d’Ewes, “Journal of the House of Commons: April 1571,” in The Journals of all the Parliaments during the reign of Queen Elizabeth (London: John Starkey, 1682), pp. 155–80. Online: http://www.british-history.ac.uk/report.asp?compid=43684.

39 Francis Bacon, “Of Usury,” in Bacon’s Essays (London: Macmillan and Co., 1892), p. 109.

40 Davies, A History of Money, p. 222.

41 Ibid., p. 222, emphasis added.

42 James Buchan, Frozen Desire (New York: Farrar, Strauss & Giroux, 1997), p. 87 (synopsis of the play).

43 William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice, Act 1, Scene 2.

44 Ibid., Act 3, Scene 2.

45 Ibid., Act 1, Scene 3.

46 von Böhm-Bawerk, Capital and Interest, book I, chapter III.

47 Ibid., book I, p. 56.

48 Ibid., book I, chapter IV.

49 Jeremy Bentham, A Defence of Usury (Philadelphia: Mathew Carey, 1787), p. 10.

50 Jeremy Bentham, The Works of Jeremy Bentham, edited by John Bowring (Edinburgh: W. Tait; London: Simpkin, Marshall, & Co., 1843), p. 501.

51 Ibid., p. 493.

52 Anonymous, Letters on Usury and Interest (London: J. P. Coghlan, 1774).

53 Ibid.

54 Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations (New York: Penguin Classics, 1986), p. 456.

55 Ibid.

56 For a thorough rebuttal of Marx’s view, see von Böhm-Bawerk, Capital and Interest, book I, chapter XII.

57 Gabriel Le Bras, quoted in Le Goff, Your Money Or Your Life, p. 43.

58 Johnson, A History of the Jews, p. 351.

59 Fyodor M. Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamozov, translated by Constance Garnett (Spark Publishing, 2004), p. 316.

60 James Grant, Money of the Mind (New York: Noonday Press, 1994), p. 79.

61 Ibid., pp. 91–95.

62 Ibid., p. 83.

63 John Maynard Keynes, “Economic Possibilities for our Grandchildren,” in Essays in Persuasion (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1963), pp. 359, 362. Online: http://www.econ.yale.edu/smith/econ116a/keynes1.pdf.

64 Franklin D. Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933, http://www.historytools.org/sources/froosevelt1st.html.

65 To understand the link between 1930s regulations and the S&L crisis, see Edward J. Kane, The S&L Insurance Mess: How Did it Happen? (Washington, D.C.: The Urban Institute Press, 1989), and Richard M. Salsman , The Collapse of Deposit Insurance—and the Case for Abolition (Great Barrington, MA: American Institute for Economic Research, 1993).

66 “Mayday for Payday Loans,” Wall Street Journal, April 2, 2007, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB117546964173756271.html.

67 “U.S. Moves Against Payday Loans, Which Critics Charge Are Usurious,” Wall Street Journal, January 4, 2002, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1010098721429807840.html.

68 “Mayday for Payday Loans,” Wall Street Journal.

69 Christine Pelisek, “Shylock 2000,” LA Weekly, February 16, 2000, http://www.laweekly.com/news/offbeat/shylock-2000/11565/.

70 Wall Street Journal, August 2, 2007, p. A4.

71 For an excellent presentation of this theory of interest, see von Böhm-Bawerk, Capital and Interest, book II.

72 For a discussion of the productive nature of financial activity see my taped course, “In Defense of Financial Markets,” http://www.aynrandbookstore2.com/prodinfo.asp?number=DB46D.

73 For more on Objectivism, see Leonard Peikoff, Objectivism: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand (New York: Dutton, 1991); and Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged (New York: Random House, 1957) and Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal (New York: New American Library 1966).
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About the Author: Yaron Brook is president and executive director of the Ayn Rand Institute and a contributing editor to The Objective Standard. He lectures on Objectivism, business ethics, and foreign policy at colleges, community groups, and corporations across America. His numerous media appearances include interviews on CNN, Fox News Channel, CNBC, and PBS.

The Idiot's Guide To The Fractional-Reserve System

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You've been had!
The banks will always win... :)

Debt-Based Currency and the Federal Reserve

"Central banking is perhaps the most brilliant scam ever perpetrated, and the U.S. Federal Reserve stands as the most successful of all central banks in history. The Fed is able to transfer wealth away from the people who earned it, and into the hands of the Federal Government and member banks, relentlessly, stealthily, year after year, and all the while maintaining the preposterous claim of social benefit in the form of "managing the economy." The method of this theft is sophisticated and disguised enough as to escape the attention of most, and when combined with propaganda, leads most people to the conclusion that we'd be in trouble without it. Yet I wish to show here that central banking can be well understood by most people for exactly what it is: ­ the fraudulent theft of trillions of dollars via the monopolization of money."
-- Johnny Silver Bear, "The Fed", 15 Jul 2004

[Used in many documents but the original author is unknown at this time]

To Whom These Presents Shall Come; Greetings; Take Notice:

1. That, prior to 1938, all U.S. Supreme Court Decisions were based upon what is termed: "Public Law" or that system of law that was controlled by Constitutional limitation. After 1938, all U.S. Supreme Court Decisions are based on "Public Policy" concerning commercial transactions made under the "Negotiable Instrument Law," as a result of the U.S. Bankruptcy as declared by President Roosevelt on March 9, 1933 and codified at 12 U.S.C.A. 95a. and by Executive Orders. This bankruptcy caused the change from "Public Law" to "Private Commercial Law" and was recognized by the Supreme Court in Erie v. Tompkins, (1938). After that case, all the procedures of Law were officially blended with procedures of Equity.

2. That, the Negotiable Instruments Law is a branch of the "International Law Merchant," which is now known as the "Uniform Commercial Code," (UCC) that was 'drafted' and made uniform, and "adopted in whole or substantially by all states." Black's Law Dictionary, Sixth Edition - page 1531. Thus the several states were and are bound into commercial agreements to the federal United States under the Uniform Commercial Code.

3. That, the several (now 50) States accepted the "benefits" of federal grants offered by the Federal United States as the "consideration" of a commercial agreement between themselves. Under the agreement the States (Conference of Governors, March 6, 1933) pledged their full faith and credit and agreed to obey the dictates of Congress, and assume their portion of the National Debt, collected as "your fair share," as an example, in the nature of the unlawful income tax, wherein the IRS operates and collects such 'taxes' under the same UCC.

4. That, this system of Negotiable paper has bound all corporate entities (cities, municipalities, counties, etc.) of government together to the process/system of the Commercial Venue of Commercial Law as expressed and exercised within the Commercial Lien Process. This nationwide Commercial "bond" also altered the original (law) status of the Courts to nothing more than "administrative tribunals" merely administering the bankruptcy (private policy) of debt collection for the Creditors.

5. That, by and through the bankruptcy, the UCC, and other acts, Congress in failing to uphold its constitutional duty to provide a lawful medium of exchange (i.e., "money" backed by silver and gold, or minted coin pursuant to Article 1, section 8, clause 5) have by these various "Acts" created an abundance of this new type of money called commercial credit money to circulate within the Legislative democracy called the United States...of which "they" are not bound by Constitutional law and limitation.

6. That, the Commercial Law Venue, compelled upon the people a forced "benefit" of "limited liability for the payment of debt" by the "use" of federal reserve notes (debt instruments) wherein "YOUR" debts are only discharged, (not paid) in the form of interest-bearing negotiable instruments (federal reserve notes). "There is a distinction between a debt discharged and one paid. When discharged the debt still exists, though divested of its character as a legal obligation.." Stanek v. White, 215 NWR 781 (1927). Federal reserve notes are only evidence of debt owed to the Federal Reserve Bank and Federal Reserve Notes are a commercial lien on the Federal Reserve Bank.

7. That, since 1933, by the acts of the Bankruptcy and the UCC, the Law has been tainted, or "colored," (i.e., color of law) as it were, because the commercial law is operated in conjunction with the Negotiable Instruments Law, wherein the Federal Government by and through the Bankers, can/have declared that a 'piece of paper' has and represents value. Albeit that there is no substance (gold or silver) backing the 'piece of paper,' which the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago in it's publication "Modern Money Mechanics," page 3, has in fact declared the use of these debt instruments (federal reserve notes) a "confidence" game. The substance of the Law (property) (i.e., gold, silver, etc.) has been removed, like the substance that is the basis of money, accordingly, LAW like MONEY becomes a fiction, make-believe! Therefore, in the U.S.A., by and through the UCC, all contracts, agreements, (implied, or otherwise, etc.), applications, permits, etc. where the "colorable" consideration (federal reserve notes) was passed in those 'contracts,' etc., all such contracts are then also "colored" and are not genuine, for no lawful consideration (gold or silver) was paid by either party to the contract to, by Law, pass both the "possession and the property" to the lawful Buyer. See - Bouvier's Dict. of Law, 1839, "TITLE," definition #5. "The lawful coin of the United States will pass the property along with the possession."

8. That, today, all our "courts" (sic) sit as Non-Constitutional-Non-Article III-Legislative Tribunals administering the bankruptcy through 'their' statutes which are in reality "commercial obligations" for the BENEFIT OR PRIVILEGE OF DISCHARGING YOUR DEBTS WITH THE LIMITED LIABILITY OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE MONOPOLY 'COLORABLE' MONEY NOTES!

9. That, under the current "colorable" legal system, the de-facto (we just do it) legislature has created "colorable" rights called privileges, imposes duties, lays down rules of conduct, and the legislative tribunals declare the same as "rights." These privileges are granted and given upon the peoples' voluntary act of asking "permission," then upon providing any colorable consideration (payment = discharge) the people then come under the administrative jurisdiction of Commercial Law.

10. That, today, in AMERICA, everyone, all governments included, are statutory law merchants dealing in negotiable paper (instruments) under the UCC for the limited liability for the discharge of debts, wherein a debt remains (fraud) and nothing else! The so-called "judges" are operating only a commercial tribunal to administer their "corporate" regulations concerning all financial transactions...both voluntary and those compelled.

11. That, ALL DEBTS are satisfied by one or both of two ways, a payment, or a promise to pay. Every payment is by substance, and every promise to pay is accomplished by a currency or paper which is technically known as commercial lien. The satisfaction of the debt by providing substance is called "paying the debt." The satisfaction of the debt by a written or printed promise to pay the debt is called "discharging the debt." All debts are "paid" by substance. All debts are only "discharged" by CURRENCY, POCKET MONEY NOTES, OR OTHER COMMERCIAL LIENS ( Negotiable Instruments, i.e., Commercial Lien Security/Asset, i.e., UCC 1 Asset).

12. That, all paper money consists of NOTES which declare a debt or obligation and which promise or demand payment. All such evidences of debt or obligations are technically known as COMMERCIAL LIENS. Such 'notes' includes currency, for example, federal reserve notes, checks, drafts, conditional checks, notes of exchange (paper money/instruments between banks).

13. That, a Federal Reserve note is a commercial lien on the Federal Reserve Bank. A personal check is a commercial lien on the bank account of the maker of the check (cheque). A draft is a check (cheque) with a conditional agreement printed above the place of endorsement on the backside of the draft.. A "note" of exchange is a commercial lien between the banks consisting of one bank demanding payment (discharge) from another bank. A personal check (cheque), while passing between banks, as a note of exchange, is a commercial lien.

14. That, bank accounts are backed (supported) either by substance money or by paper money, or by both. The substance money is called collateral. The paper money can be currency (for example, paper money notes), a loan of credit from the bank, or checks or other paper money as such, are commercial liens, received from other sources. Therefore the "property" declared/pledged or claimed to secure the obligation, and damages, is the collateral by and through the Commercial Lien process, which establishes (creates) the credit called commercial credit money.

15. That, valid "credit" currency (commercial lien) can be established by making a valid claim of debt (based on a damage or injury) by an affidavit in the form of a 'private security agreement' (and other related documents) and by allowing the lien to mature in three (3) months (90 days) into an accounts receivable (under commercial law) by the failure of the lien debtor to contest the 'agreement/lien' by answering or rebutting, by his affidavit, on a point for point basis.

16. That, a lien must contain 1) the names of the party/parties, claimants, and debtors. 2) an affidavit stating the events which created the obligation. 3) a ledger giving a one-to one correspondence between events and their values. 4) a list of property pledged or claimed to secure the payment (discharge) of the obligation, and 5) any evidence or exhibits in support of the claims made against the debtor.

17. That, the primary method of establishing a COMMERCIAL LIEN currency/paper/ negotiable instrument is to combine, 1) a promise to perform. 2) a claim of breach/damage /injury/fraud, etc., and 3) a three month (90 day) default to challenge or rebut the claim/lien on said point for point basis.

18. That, Commercial Lien/value/currency can be in the form of a bank check (cheque), a draft, a UCC 1 Security, and its partial assignments... that pass, and are accepted, or circulate 'as' credit money.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Klaus Janson Appreciation Thread

This is Klaus Janson as inker. But don't you dare call him a "tracer". He added levels of realism and dimensions to John Romita Jr's pencils. Even the Joker and Jigsaw peed in their pants at the sight of Bats and Punny duking it out.

This is Klaus Janson as penciller and inker. This particular book was really more concerned about the Roanoke legend than about either Bats or Spawny but I bought it anyway. It was at the height of the Moench-Dixon-Grant partnership and Janson did the whole thing with the art all by himself.

Klaus Janson's Batman. 'Nuff said!

Recommended Klaus Janson Batwerks: "Gothic" (Grant Morrison only supplied the words) and "Death And The Maidens" (Greg Rucka wrote some words to go along with Janson's art).

REFERENCE POINT 3: LIFE'S TRAGEDY

To be human. No reference point needed. :)
*dedicated to the tuition teacher last seen still trying to squeeze into bruce wayne leotards.
** also for the engineer who get chased by bats in bangkok.
LIVE HAPPY.

REFERENCE POINT 2: GREAT COVERS

i still buy a comic just because of the cover.

REFERENCE POINT 1: HUMOUR

I dare you not to laugh!

POSTLUDE: SUPERIOR INKCRAFT

KLAUS JANSON: Artist not inker.



TED McKEEVER: Batman Nosferatu! Now you know. Swore Heather Ledger offed himself after reading this!

KENT WILLIAMS: Why do my hands tremble at every page of Batman that Mr.William produced?



FRANK MILLER: Only God can ink bat-lines like this.

BILL SIENKIEWICZ: Not really inked but it's Sienkiewicz. That's all the reason I need. Sienkiewicz.


reference point? apa binatang tu?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

KLAUS IN DEPTH

It's piss pouring at Madripoor. Again.

Even had a frog singing at Jeremiah. It's that bad.

Madripoor. Lately it's full of bats.

Interlude: Kapitan & Punisher, bats chasing at Madripoor. Having a good time.

Kelawar pendatang! Aku musnahkan Kau!

I had my usual corner at Jeremiah. You can see only the outline of furniture and half my face. The rest is awashed in dark ink. Only the orange tinged bulb is visible but even that has a inked based glow. Klaus Janson was at the bar. Figures. Not an artist. But an inker. I bought him a german beer. The pub was washed in ink. Klaus told me he know nothing about Cowan. Gulped his beer and swore he only does the inking. Nothing rough edged or sadosexual grit of O'Neil. No, Klaus don't eat no Ham(m) either. He sobbed he has no question on Ditko. Gacked on his beer and swore he has never read Ann Rand. I bought him another beer. The interior was heavily inked now. My silhouette even caught a flavor of Mignola. I could not connect any reference point. There weren't any. Jeremiah in ink. Unfamiliar.

(In this corner of the world you can be yourself. There's nobody else. No matter if you don't think much of yourself. You can only be yourself. No matter if you exist in a wrong time. No matter if you had not had the reference points due to not having any refrence point in the first place. One is often found washed ashore, dazed in madripoor...) (not a bad thing.)

I told Klaus he will always be an artist to me. Ink or otherwise. Not inker but artist. He gulped his beer. Again. I told Klaus about Dukes/Sumo/Hippo with the punisher tee to cheer him up. He stared at me blankly. I smiled and pointed to THE Punisher who stormed in smelling of guano.

Klaus Janson's Punisher: He look chinese. But don't you ever dare call him pendatang!

Time was Klaus Janson was known as Frank Miller's shadow/inker. But if you work for god/miller how else can you be addressed? God ver.2?! No. Just another inker. But Klaus was not just another inker. He was Klaus. Klaus Janson. The same one that was crucified in the name of Cowan, Hamm and Rand. The same Klaus that would die in the name of modern grit is the same Klaus that is now glorified in the created art as only this slammo panel can:

Pendatang Ismail getting bashed by pendekar kelawar

It was still piss pouring. The pub is now inkified. Punisher shot the frog. Said he will hunt down Carpenter next. I told him Carpenter has left for the top of the world. That drove him into a foul mood. Then he eyed Janson. Then like old times, like in the old war zone, Punisher, Janson and the pltyfan with the zero reference point except for the fact that he liked the art, went hunting for the tuition teacher with the punisher tee....

Last sightings of the tuition teacher... bamf!

The Rainbow Connection

Karen Carpenter recorded her own version of "The Rainbow Connection" years ago for her solo album. It's possibly the only other version out there that is more beautiful than the original one sung by that frog from Sesame Street (see below):

The Dick Sprang Batman

Dick Sprang was one of the Golden/Silver Age greats who brought an enormous amount of energy, creativity and fun to the "Batman" comicbooks. The below are some of his well-known pieces. Check them out and see why I kept on harping about the importance of the fantastique, the colourful, the burlesque and the zaniness of the "Batman" mythos:

Some weeks back, some people teased and jeered at me because of my excitement over the "Hellboy II" movie. They couldn't understand why I wasn't sharing their enthusiasm for "The Dark Knight" film. I had a hard time explaining that it was actually because of my love for Batman that I avoided "The Dark Knight" - fully knowing that the film will step all over the original material and destroy the charm of the Bat-mythos. In a way, I'm happy that there are people out there making a big Batman movie but on the other hand, I'm not too excited because the version of the myth presented in that film will now dominate the public view of what Batman's world is like. It's a huge problem trying to explain my opinions to people who've not seen the Dick Sprang or Sheldon Moldoff Batman. It's difficult to explain why I prefer the zaniness of Schumacher's "Batman & Robin" film - possibly the most ridiculed, most panned movie of all time! Hahahahahaha... :)

The Fantastique vs. The Realistic vs. The Insane - Another Look At The Bat-Mythos

Writing movie and comic reviews is cathartic for me. It enables me to think things other than my immediate concerns such as my job, financial-commitments, religion, etc.

La Tey read my reviews and had a long discussion with me late last night. He is of the opinion that people today have little imagination and therefore they prefer "realism" in their "fiction"! I told him that I thought "The Dark Knight" failed simply because it no longer IS a Batman movie. It could've been "The Departed II"! Everything that happened in it could and does in fact happen in the real world – bank robberies, terrorist acts, money-laundering, etc. Even the Bat-Cave is no longer there – Batman and Alfred meets up in a nondescript open-spaced warehouse or office building! The Batman mythos is not so much about "realism" and crime as it is about a performance, a dance, a pantomime, a circus. The Batman does not so much "fight" his adversaries. He dances with them on rooftops. It is all a play with colourful characters – a criminal-clown (Joker) with buzzers and acid-squirting flowers, Mr. Pickwick with his trick umbrellas (Penguin), a half-faced gangster who flips a coin for every decision (Two-Face), a two-bit thief who leaves clues in the form of riddles (Riddler), a sexy female cat-burglar with a thing for whips (Catwoman), a half-woman / half-plant hybrid creature (Poison Ivy), a monster made out of clay (Clayface), etc.

Of course, it can be argued that these characters and settings mean far more than their surface literalness. Hence, in our more sophisticated times, we read all sorts of political / sexual / psychological inferences into them. Much as people do these days when they read "The Wizard of Oz" or "Alice In Wonderland". Well, it may be that Frank Baum and Lewis Carroll had other things in mind when they wrote their fantasies but what kept them alive for so many years to be enjoyed by so many generations wasn't the "deeper" meanings and/or implications so much as that these stories were FUN! Dorothy being swept up in a tornado and Alice entering the rabbit-hole meant that the "realistic" characters were being transported into ANOTHER world, a world quite different from the one that we are familiar with. This is the essence of the fantastique. C. S. Lewis did the same with the children discovering the wondrous Land of Narnia within the wardrobe! Neil Gaiman gave us "The Dreaming" that we all visit during the 1/3 of our lives when we are asleep. Same thing for Clive Barker's "Sea of Quiddity" [in "The Great and Secret Show"] that we each visit three times during our lifetimes: when we were first born, when we first have sex and when we die. The problem with "The Dark Knight" film was that it did the exact opposite. Instead of transporting the viewers into the world of the fantastique, original denizens of that land (Batman, Two-Face, Joker, etc.) were transported into our dull, dreary world of twisted Hong Kong businessmen, money-launderers, accountants and terrorists.

Gotham City was always meant to be such a setting for the fantastique. We visit it with the immediacy of simply opening a comicbook. Frank Miller wrote about this experience in his foreword to "Batman: Year One". It was an experience, an encounter with a world that is strangely familiar and yet altogether different. Dennis O'Neil explained that the Bat-mythos was really a reversal of familiar archetypes. You can find heroic archetypes for all the other super-heroes (e.g. Superman = Samson / Hercules, Wonder Woman = Artemis, Flash = Hermes / Mercury, etc.) but not Batman. When we look into the annals of history, mythology and literature, the only creatures than even resemble that Batman-archetype is that of the arch-fiend, the bloodsucking Nosferatu / Dracula. But in this fantastique world of Gotham City, this arch-fiend is, in fact, the hero and protector while the familiar friendly clown is a murderous criminal! Because of such a reversal, the Bat-mythos is actually more complex and perhaps in a way, darker, than that of say Superman or Wonder Woman. The problem with "The Dark Knight" film is that it clung on to the dark aspect while stripping it of the fantastique. The resulting film becomes rather simplistic in comparison to its original sources. To a large extent, the Bat-mythos can only "work" within the context of the fantastique. Strip it of that element and what do we have to distinguish it from other pulp / crime fiction? That was what I meant when I said that "The Dark Knight" is not a Batman film – it's a lot closer in spirit to movies like "The Departed" or even the dark / crime films of Hong Kong director Johnnie To (PTU, Election, etc.)

Strangely, both La Tey and I enjoyed "Batman Begins" a lot more than "The Dark Knight". I think the reason for this is that "Batman Begins" at least had exotic settings because of all the Ra's Al Ghul stuff. Furthermore, Gotham City at least "felt" like Gotham City with all the sprawling railroads and gothic skyscrapers in "Batman Begins". Chris Nolan mentioned in interviews that he decided to unclutter Gotham City in "The Dark Knight". The end result is that this new Gotham is quite undistinguishable from say, Hong Kong (and it's interesting that the Batman was shown swooping down majestically in Hong Kong during the earlier scenes of the film than in Gotham!) Gotham City is as much a character in the Bat-mythos as Alfred, Gordon, etc. Fans who have grown up with the TV series, cartoons, comics, novels, etc. KNOW Gotham City! We know where Stately Wayne Manor is. We know how the Bat-Signal lights up the sky from the top of Gotham Central. We know about the replica Statue of Liberty across the Gotham River. It's as important as having Metropolis as the setting for Superman or say, New York City as the setting for Spider-Man. I've been told by many fans who visited New York for the first time and looked up half-expecting to see the Daily Bugle building because they grew up reading Spider-Man comics. It's that kind of thing I'm talking about. The all-importance of setting. Never mind that New York City is a real city – in the fictional Marvel Universe, it's a setting for the fantastique – it's the stage for the stories of a teenager endowed with arachnid-like powers. The distinguishing elements of the fictional city must be retained in order for the fantastique to work. Tim Burton's vision for Gotham City is still the most potent version of it on-screen or any medium for that matter. It is regrettable that Chris Nolan destroyed that vision in "The Dark Knight".

Another very important element in the Bat-mythos that finds its roots in the pulp-tradition is that of the femme fatale. The femme fatale is sex and death in one attractive package. During the war, soldiers were sent off with Bettie Page posters to fight, kill and die. That was the essence of the femme fatale. Raymond Chandler understood that. Will Eisner understood that. Dashiel Hammett understood that. Ian Fleming understood that. Dennis O'Neil understood that. Mike W. Barr understood that. Frank Miller understood that. The girl who comes into the hero's life and literally tears it apart from within. The girl who is bad-news from the moment the hero first lay eyes on her but it simply irresistible. Like Elektra to Daredevil or Catwoman to Batman. She invades the hero's privately secure world, makes the hero fall in love with her so much that he's willing to die for her or even give up his heroic career for her, then she betrays him or he discovers that she's sleeping with the enemy. The undefeatable hero, well-protected behind his fortress of machismo, cold-intelligence and training gets his heart ripped out from within him. Daniel Craig's James Bond experienced that recently with Eva Green's Vesper Lynn in "Casino Royale". Interestingly, that element is missing in the Chris Nolan directed Batman films. He had every opportunity to play with that in "Batman Begins" because of the Ra's Al Ghul factor. Now, every comic reader worth his salt knows that what makes the Ra's Al Ghul stories so powerful was not just the duels between Batman and Ra's but the emotional tug-of-war because Batman was in love with Ra's daughter, Talia! "Run Talia, run! I do not dare face you or I will be forced to arrest you. But… but how can I arrest the woman I love....!!!" Melodramatic perhaps but used to great effect in the best of the Bats-Ra's sagas (e.g. "Son of the Demon" by Mike W. Barr) In place of that, Chris Nolan gives us the terribly bland Rachel Dawes. First, she was played by Mrs. Tom Cruise and in the new film, she was played by the ugly Maggie Gyllenhaal. Unbelievable. How did we go from hot babes like Kim Basinger, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman and Uma Thurman to MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL????? Did someone forgot to put on their contact lenses when they woke up in the morning and mistakenly cast MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL? Looks aside, the Rachel Dawes character had nothing to offer beyond blandness and more blandness. I don't know about you but I did not feel a thing when the villains blew her to smithereens. Don't even talk about ripping the heart out of Batman – there wasn't even any real chemistry between them on screen. Same thing between Rachel and Harvey Dent. If her death was the catalyst for his descent into madness as Two-Face, well, it just didn't come off in a believable fashion. It felt more like Aaron Ekhart was simply following the script and HAD to become Two-Face! That was it. Throughout the movie, it felt more like Batman and Harvey were in-love with each other in their willingness to bear each other's crosses! Rachel Dawes wasn't even the "third party" in the Bats-Harvey romance. That honour went to Jim Gordon! Hahahahaha!

Finally, the loudest cheers for "The Dark Knight" film had to be for Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. Many are even crying out for a posthumous Oscar for him. I do not disagree since Oscars are generally reserved for really shitty stuff anyway (are there anyone out there stupid enough to believe that the Academy Awards Committee really award performers based on merit/quality?) My problem with Ledger's Joker is that he's NOT crazy! He's disgusting (especially with his reptilian-tongue thingy) and scary (with his knives and bombs). But he's NOT crazy. More than anything, La Tey and I actually agree with his philosophy! Underneath the veneer of civility, we really are savage beasts. The world really is ruled by manipulators and schemers. The world really is crazy because everytime shitheads like Warren Buffett or Alan Greenspan start speaking, everyone listens to their shit! The world political-financial system is evil and keeps nations, governments and peoples in bondage. To a large extent, La Tey and I would probably go out and start blowing up banks if we were given enough TNT to do the job! It's not crazy to think/act like the Joker. It's crazy to think that being an accountant in Melbourne is the height of human achievements! In other words, we actually appreciate that this movie is giving us another icon for anarchy (outside of Edward Norton in "Fight Club"). It's the only thing that La Tey and I really enjoyed about this movie. Ironically, the people who are cheering for Ledger's Joker are doing it for the wrong reasons! They think that he was portraying an insane man. He wasn't. He was portraying a disgusting and cruel man who is possibly the sanest character in the movie! – "Why so serious?" :)

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Review: Batman Confidential

I stopped reading Batman comics pretty much after I moved back to KL in September 2005. Don't know why. I got caught up in all the Nu-Marvel fever and got on the Bendis books. Started with "Alias" and moved on to "Daredevil", "Ultimate Spider-Man" and the countless "New Avengers" tie-ins. About the only "Batman" book I read was the one by Grant Morrison – "Batman and Son" but I didn't really like that very much. Melvin was with me when I picked up that book. He kept quoting from it –"The Apocalypse is cancelled until I say so!" It was funny for the first 159 times. But that's Melvin and we all love him for that anyway. [The 160th time he said it was when La Tey and I were trying to order food in C-Jade Restaurant at Mid-Valley Megamall or something, if I recalled correctly...]

I had a haircut yesterday and my wife said that it was the same stupid haircut that Guy Gardner had in 1987. My kids laughed. Then my wife went out to get a birthday cake for my eldest daughter (it's her 11th birthday today) and I went to MPH. I had two MPH vouchers with me and used it to get two Batman books: "Rules of Engagement" and "Lovers & Madmen". I was also pretty interested in the Harley Quinn volume but I couldn't afford it. Only thing I could afford after that was the cheap-bootleg "The Dark Knight" DVD.

Anyway, I went home, watched "The Dark Knight" DVD with my wife and kids (actually I was watching most of it alone since my wife hated the movie more than I did and the kids were just disinterested throughout). In the evening, I read the two Batman books and found them to be far more satisfying than the much-lauded film.

The two books collected the first year's worth of a new Batman series (Batman Confidential #1-12). The first arc was "Rules of Engagement" (#1-6) and the second one was "Lovers & Madmen" (#7-12). Batman Confidential is a new series that explores untold stories set in the early years of the Batman's career. The first storyarc explores the first meeting between Batman and Lex Luthor, the partnership of Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox as well as the first Bat-plane. The story is written by up-and-coming Brit-writer, Andy Diggle and drawn by Whilce Portacio. Diggle was the editor of 2000A.D. in the year 2000 and is the current "Hellblazer" writer. Thankfully, he did not write in that obnoxious Brit-style here in "Rules of Engagement". In fact, the story read like a very straightforward US comic - full of over-the-top action, smart dialogue, fun character interplay, etc. It's an interesting enough story that I'll be rereading. In fact, it's downright brilliant. I loved the conflict between Batman and Lex Luthor in the final parts of "No Man's Land". This story is about their first meeting. Honestly, it's funny that it took DC so long to produce this story. Batman vs Lex is 1,000 times more interesting than Superman vs Lex. In a way, the two are equals. They come from the same world of superscience, privilege, industry and business that the super-farmboy from Kansas will never understand. They are both human beings who work to realize the best in their human potential. Luthor is written in a very Blofeld manner (complete with a Hair Treatment Institute in the Swiss Alps even) and his motivations are explored in an even more interesting way than Brian Azzarello did in his pompous miniseries ("Lex Luthor: Man of Steel"). It's been said that a good writer explores his characters by finding out WHAT THEY REALLY WANT. Diggle understands Lex Luthor. He wants a world of MAN - not Supermen. In fact, Diggle captures the essence of Lex in four words of exasperated dialogue from the man - "God, I hate superheroes!" Lex then proceeds to take over the US in true "Big Brother" fashion by taking over the military. Enter: Batman on his new Bat-plane and the rest is pure comicbook goodness. As for the art by Whilce Portacio, well, if you're familiar with the man's work (Punisher, Heroes Reborn: Iron Man, Wetworks), it's nothing new here. He still can't draw faces or cheeks. His characters come with funny hair and eyes. But he's damn good with the action scenes. Portacio's work is never beautiful (although in the early Image days, a lot of his faults were covered up by the studio's inkers - in the generic Scott Williams manner). What is good about his art are the layouts and perspectives. For instance, he deliberately draws Bruce's and Lex's first confrontation from the top-down view to show their antagonism. The two are chatting and smiling but it's obvious from the art that they are rivals - equals perhaps but antagonistic rivals nonetheless. Then there are the action scenes. I've never been a big fan of the Bat-plane but here, Portacio made me fall in love with it. His Bat-plane is awesome and dangerous - whether in the scene where it was taken over by Lex's programming to destroy the Bat-Cave or when Bruce pilots it into Lex's lair to destroy his robotic army. All in all, this is a really good, straightforward, fun comicbook that I'll be rereading again and again over the years.

I proceeded immediately to the second book after finishing "Rules of Engagement". It was somewhat of a mistake. While "Rules of Engagement" was fun, "Lovers & Madmen" is so bloody good that it almost wiped the first story from my mind. "Lovers & Madmen" is an instant classic! It explores the origin of the Joker and fleshes out the Joker far more than "The Dark Knight" film. Heath Ledger's Joker wasn't a character so much as a force for chaos and anarchy. Here, the Joker is a person. Now, there's an argument that the Joker is the one character that does not need an "origin story". I find myself agreeing with that point of view over the years (even when I read Alan Moore's "The Killing Joke"). But once you've read this book, you'll probably change your mind. The story is written by Michael Green (he wrote some episodes of the "Heroes" TV series) and drawn by veteran artist Denys Cowan.

[Interlude: Some weeks back, Pltypus was showing off his knowledge of "comic art" by pontificating about Klaus Janson and Lynn Varley. For some unknown reason, he doesn't seem able to wrap his thoughts around the fact that Lynn Varley is really a colorist and NOT a penciller. Frank Miller drew "Elektra Lives Again" NOT Lynn Varley. She colored the damn thing for her husband, Miller. When we discussed Klaus Janson, I mentioned Denys Cowan, the rough-edged, gritty artist who teamed up with Dennis O'Neil on "The Question" and Sam Hamm on "Batman: Blind Justice". Pltypus gave me a blank look. I knew that he knows nothing about "The Question" so I tried to explain that it's a Steve Ditko creation based on Ayn Rand's philosophy. Blank look continued. As usual, my views are dismissed simply because he couldn't connect with them or find a familiar reference point within them. Hahahaha!]

Anyway, Denys Cowan's art for "Lovers & Madmen" is what made the whole thing worked so well. Countless other online idiots with blogs are complaining about Cowan's rough-edgedness and messy-looking lines. Same idiots also complained about Klaus Janson's art in "Batman: Death And The Maidens". They never grew up with Janson or Cowan. They grew up with the digitally-polished stuff by Greg Land (at Nu-Marvel). Cowan is a storyteller whose subtle lines are able to show the growth and maturity in the young Batman still learning his ropes to the increasing insanity in "Jack" (Joker) from one panel to the next. As for the writing by Michael Golden, well, if DC is reading this - please put this guy on the ongoing Batman book and throw out Grant Morrison! In today's decompressed storytelling style, Golden's scripts are unbelievably dense. Took me far longer than usual to read the 144-pages. Every line had something to say. Every internal monologue. Every line of dialogue. Every caption box. Golden KNOWS how to write. If you've enjoyed the tightness of "Heroes", you'll love his work here. He even threw in tiny nuggets like showing the first meeting between Jack and Harleen Quinzel (we know how these two will become lovers one day as Joker and Harley Quinn). Jack even paid for Quinzel's tuition fees in medical school! So in other words, the Joker "created" both Dr Quinzel the psychiatrist AND Harley Quinn, the insane sidekick.

As for the Batman, we see him falling in love with a girl from the art gallery. The story begins at the end of his first year as Batman. Teaming up with Gordon, they literally cleaned up much of the crime in Gotham City and he was kinda letting his guard down a little (so much that he allows himself to fall in love with a girl) because he thinks that he's at last understood the criminal-mind, and hence, is able to stop any potential criminal. Everything is logical. Everything is in the criminology and detection handbooks. Then he meets someone who short-circuits everything he thought he knew about crime. He meets someone who is criminally-insane and he couldn't understand that. We see him consulting a young Dr Jonathan Crane (who'll one day become the Scarecrow) and Dr Crane telling him that the Joker is INSANE. Batman was shocked. He was so busy trying to figure out the wires in the Joker's mind in order to prevent his next crime. He was busy looking for a pattern that he missed the most obvious thing that everyone else can see. There is no pattern because the Joker is INSANE. There are no wires to connect because all the wires in the Joker's head have been disconnected long ago! When Joker nearly killed the girl he loves, Batman too went insane. Some readers have complained about this particular plotline but it really makes a lot of sense. Batman realizes that the Joker's unpredictability is what is really scary to him. So he too decides to do the unpredictable - he teams up with Gotham's underworld and gets them to hunt down the Joker. Now, if only Christian Bale's Batman was half as brilliant as this - then we probably won't see him being manipulated by the Joker at every turn! [As a bonus, we also get the origin of the Bat-Computer devised by Alfred and initially named the "Dupin" - after C. Auguste Dupin from Edgar Allan Poe's "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", Bruce's favourite book.]

As for the Joker, we see a man who was an expert at opening safes, crippling bank alarms, etc. but hating the "orderliness" of his work (his "gift"). He much prefers the chaos of a ringing bank alarm bringing in the police and a chaotic gunfight. When he finally meets Batman, he saw simply a man who was really crazier than himself! An idiot barking out commands and threats to criminals while dressed up in a ridiculous costume. When Jack finally snaps, we see how his insane mind works. He sees a bunny in the moon and at that point he "knows" that he's insane already. Then he goes on to call Batman "bunny" (I laugh every time I read that). In a way, that was even scarier and funnier than Heath Ledger's "You complete me" line! Golden brought out all the psychosexual tension between the Batman and the Joker (previously hinted at in Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" and Morrison's "Arkham Asylum") more than anyone else. When the two caught each other in a death grip and stabbed each other with knives, Denys Cowan made it look more like an embrace than a fight. The stabbing too was very sexual and the Joker was laughing all the way at the Batman who just can't resist him!

In the end, we see Bruce Wayne breaking up with his girlfriend and devoting his life to hunt down the Joker every time he threatens Gotham. See the parallelism? Joker stabs the girl that Batman loved. Batman later abandons the girl and turns all his attentions to the Joker. That was precisely what the Joker wanted - Batman's undivided attention (affection?). The subtlety of the work, the character interplay, the art, the humour, the brokenhearted girl, etc. All these elements add up to make "Lovers & Madmen" to be among the best Batman stories ever written. Who are the "Lovers" and "Madmen" in the title? It's obvious that the title was pointing to Batman and Joker being "Lovers" and fellow "Madmen".

The Bat-Family

I was a huge Batman fan during my years in Ipoh. Actually studied Batman's history in depth from the Golden Age up to Jeph Loeb's "Hush". My wife and kids joined me in the venture and we had many hours of fun dissecting the characters, laughing at the Schumacher films, watching the Dini-Timm cartoons in awe and discussing who was the best Batgirl – Barbara Gordon or Cassandra Cain. The O'Neil / Dixon / Grant / Moench / Rucka / Brubaker / Grayson era remains our favourite Batman era (pre-Knightfall to No Man's Land). The Batman books of that period were about family. We started with A Lonely Place of Dying (with the introduction of the new Robin III, Tim Drake) and Robin: A Hero Reborn (Tim's initiation) to Knightfall / Knightsquest / Knightsend (Tim's biggest test, the coming of Azrael and the return of Nightwing). Then we moved on to the catastrophic storyarcs: Contagion / Legacy / Cataclysm (the Bat-Family together) that culminated in the year-long epic No Man's Land (restoration of Gotham). At the same time, we picked up the other related titles like Nightwing (I have the complete Dixon run), Catwoman (the Jim Balent version), Robin (again, Dixon run), Birds of Prey (once again, Dixon) and Batgirl (complete Kelley Puckett / Damion Scott run). Along the way, we also had the pleasure of reading such gems as Robin: Year One, Batgirl: Year One and Nightwing: Year One (all by Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty). It was the best time to be a Bat-fan! It was the most dysfunctional and quirky family this side of The Simpsons!

Batman was the jackass dad with all sorts of emotional issues who's brooding all the time. Alfred was the doting "mum" who takes care of the dishes and made the best pies! Nightwing was the cool older brother who takes you out on train-rides (actually, hopping about above a fast-moving train is more like it!). Jason Todd is the dead brother that nobody talks about much. Nightwing was going out with Oracle, the big sister who's hot as hell but stuck in a wheelchair. Black Canary comes around once in a while to tease Oracle (so she's like older sister's best friend who wears really hot fishnet-stockings!). Tim Drake is the rookie kid learning the ropes. Azrael is the black-sheep of the family (who's also a member of a doomsday cult) and who comes along once in a while during family gatherings. Batgirl-Cassandra is the youngest sis with all sorts of issues (and she's a goth-chick who kicks ass). She doesn't talk much but she's got more kungfu than Batman and Lady Shiva combined! Also, her biological dad is David Cain, who also trained Batman and later conspired to slap a murder charge on Bruce Wayne by killing one of his girlfriends.

Catwoman is the slutty stepmother who's also trying to seduce older brother, Nightwing. Huntress is another black sheep of the family who slept with older brother, Nightwing. Spoiler is Tim's girlfriend (but she's really interested only in Robin) and Tim is also dating Arianna (as Tim but not as Robin). Jim Gordon is the stepdad who's the voice of reason but he's got his own skeletons in the closet (namely his adulterous fling with Sarah Essen, now his dead 2nd wife – and his abandoned son, Jim, left with his first wife!) There were also those folks who worked for Gordon. Renee Montoya is a closet lesbian (and Harvey Dent is nuts about her), Harvey Bullock loves donuts and Crispus Allen is the new Spectre! Batman’s other wife, Talia Head (note that last-name) is also in bed with Lex Luthor but claims that her son, Damian, is Bruce's. Grand-daddy Ra's Al-Ghul is trying to possess the body of Damian to come back to life. He's also got a thing or two for sister Oracle's friend Black Canary – even allowing her to dip in his pool of living water (Lazarus Pit).

Then there were the "Elseworlds" stuff. In Thrillkiller, Barbara-Batgirl was the rebellious socialite who was trying to get on Jim Gordon's nerves by banging a circus kid, Dick-Robin. What Dick-Robin didn't know was that Barbara-Batgirl was also banging Bruce-Batman, her dad's assistant. This led to Dick-Robin's death after he was poisoned by a kiss from Joker (who's actually a white-skinned Sharon-Stone lookalike woman). Then in the Gotham By Gaslight stories, the Victorian Batman faced Jack the Ripper and prevented the destruction of the "World's Fair" that ushered in the new century.

It was the best of times. More soap opera than anything on TV. [And La Tey, if you're reading this, it was more twisted than anything in Nip/Tuck - now you know why I didn't think Nip/Tuck was such a big deal after all?!? Everything there was in-your-face. With the Bat-books, you gotta read between the lines to see the crankiness!]

For years, this was my vision of what the dysfunctional Bat-family was like. Now you understand why I found the recent movie, "The Dark Knight" to be so unsatisfying?

The Darkness Of "The Dark Knight"

I finally saw "The Dark Knight".

Mentioned time and again that I refused to watch this movie but I did. Picked up a cheap bootleg DVD yesterday and saw it with my wife and kids. My wife dozed off in the middle of the movie and the kids complained that it was boring. They started playing with their toys and reading their storybooks instead. My youngest daughter (5 years old) could see through the thin plotline and predicted that Harvey Dent would get his face burned by the Joker and become Two-Face. Guess what? She was right! Haha! My youngest son (4 years old) was more interested in his Kellogg's mini Batman figurine than the movie.

As for me, I think it was a decent enough movie. Heath Ledger was masochistic and scary as the Joker and he got the best lines. Aaron Eckhart's Harvey Dent was the "Apollo"-faced District Attorney that I've always pictured him to be – which made his descent into Two-Face all that more tragic. Gary Oldman's Jim Gordon had a bigger role here than in the prequel so that's not a bad thing. My problem is with Christian Bale's Batman. He's not terribly bad but neither is he terribly good either. There's no romance in his Batman. Almost like he's actually quite tired of the role forced upon him. He's not even interested in being Bruce Wayne actually. He's just disinterested throughout. Somewhat like Brandon Routh in "Superman Returns". They seem to put forth the "Hey, I'm deserving of better roles than playing this superhero in spandex but I'm doing it because you idiotic fanboys like this sort of thing!" notion in every scene.

My original complaint (after watching the trailer) remains: there is no cheer in this movie. If anything, the overall feel was even more unpleasant than "Batman Begins". No more soaring, dramatic Danny Elfman soundtrack. In its place is a constipated, claustrophobic piece to match the movie's drearily brooding atmosphere. Nobody smiles in the movie. There is very little colour. Everything is grim and gritty. And the viewers absolutely loved it! [Latest box-office reports show that it's the highest grossing superhero film ever and possibly among the highest grossing films ever! Add in merchandising and a later DVD release, Blu-Ray release, Director's Cut release, special 2-disc edition release and this movie is the biggest cash-cow ever!]

In the recent comic-con, current Batman scribe Grant Morrison praised "The Dark Knight" as the finest Batman movie to date. To a certain extent, I do not disagree. The film works as a character-piece. Batman, Joker, Two-Face and Gordon are more fleshed-out here than ever. Joker's "You complete me" line is especially memorable and poignant. Every encounter between Joker and Batman, Joker and Harvey, Harvey and Gordon are character studies of contrasts and parallels. So much that the "talky"-scenes carry far more punch than all the explosions and action scenes. The Joker-Batman dynamics work far better here than in Tim Burton's original 1989 version. Jack Nicholson and Michael Keaton arguing about "who made who" was nothing compared to the psychological word-play here between Heath Ledger and Christian Bale. Batman is played as the rational and logical figure that forces order into his world. Joker is his complete antithesis as the agent of chaos and anarchy. Therefore, Batman struggles to understand Joker because he was approaching him in a logical way – looking for motives behind his insane acts of cruelty, etc. In the end, the whole thing was about Joker proving a point – the corruption of man hidden behind the public face of civilization. Batman managed to save his city but ended up losing his friend, Harvey, to Joker's corruption (and Rachel to Joker's manipulations). In short, the Joker won.

My friend La Tey is reading Ellen Brown's "The Web of Debt" at the moment. It's a book about the financial system that keeps us all in bondage. It's interesting that most people spend their lives chasing after money but not knowing what money is. Some of them know it better than others (i.e. money = debt) and become richer than their wildest dreams. In short, the whole financial system that is based on debt is the product of schemers who devise this sort of thing. It was the prophet Jeremiah who denounced this sort of thing by pointing to the evil devices of the human heart. The Joker understood that and that was why his motives were not financial (he actually burned his 50% share of the cash from his heist). His primary motive was to put up a bloody middle-finger up to the world-system of schemers (of which Batman is a self-appointed protector).

That was what I admired about the movie–the character studies. The problem with the movie is that it is very little else. You see, the average movie viewer is not used to such things in their movie-watching diet. They see the depth, the complexity of characters and they go ga-ga! A local reviewer even said that watching "The Dark Knight" is akin to watching "Star Wars: Episode IV" in the 1970s. Almost like an epiphany. I strongly disagree. "Star Wars" took us further than we were (in the 1970s) because it wasn't just a character piece – it was a whole fictional universe to be explored. It gave us a sense of wonder and a thirst to discover more of the world that George Lucas envisioned in his head. Same thing Tolkien did with "The Lord of the Rings". But not so "The Dark Knight". This movie harkens back to the grim-and-gritty era of comics than began in 1985/6. In short, it is a move backwards rather than forward. Let me explain: it is agreed that the grim-and-gritty era began with the works of two men – Frank Miller and Alan Moore.

Frank Miller was a fan of crime stories and hard-boiled detective novels/movies. He wanted to bring that into the comics but everywhere he looked, people were only interested in spandex-clad superheroes. Finally, he got his chance to work his magic into the monthly "Daredevil" book. It was a dream come true for Frank (especially when he was paired with a penciller/inker who shared his sensibilities, Klaus Janson). They brought in their mutual love for seedy bar-rooms and smoky pool-saloons, the femme fatale and the exotica of the orient (in the form of mysticism and ninjitsu). And they created a classic. Heroes were not so black-and-white anymore, they compromised their ideals in order to take down the bad guy. The bad guy wasn't just a guy in a silly costume anymore, he became an immovable wall behind which all the corruption of the city festers (i.e. the Kingpin). [Frank was also mugged one night in NYC so he got to work his angst into the book!] Frank later took his visions further in "Ronin" and culminated in "The Dark Knight Returns". Fans who were expecting more "Daredevil"-stuff in "The Dark Knight Returns" were shocked to find out how different that was – but nobody complained. It was an instant classic. In that pre-internet age, everyone was on the phone the day "The Dark Knight Returns #1" hit the stands – "Did you get it yet?" "Did you see how crazy this Batman was? He was threatening to drop that punk from the top-floor of a building!" "Batman is more like a terrorist than a hero here!" Frank Miller was distilling his own vision (paranoia?) of corrupt cities, sexual-angst, right-wing political motivations and mixing it with Kirby-power (he was befriending Kirby and fighting for creator-rights at that time) into that seminal work – "The Dark Knight Returns". At the same time, the British magician/musician, Alan Moore, was slowing working his magic by reworking Claremontian whimsy ("Captain Britain"), mysticism/occult/horror ("Swamp Thing") and C. C. Beck's "Shazam" ("Marvelman/Miracleman"). Moore's work culminating in the study on superheroic-fascism called "Watchmen". Both "The Dark Knight Returns" and "Watchmen" were very reflective of the politics of the 1980s – of Reaganomics, Thatcher, the missile crisis, etc. The mass media took note and everyone sat up to listen to them.

Then came the bastardization of it all. Everyone wanted to create dark, grim-and-gritty comics to follow in the footsteps of Miller/Moore. Jim Starlin gave us "Batman: The Cult" and "Batman: A Death In The Family"– the first showing Batman swallowed up by homeless scavengers and the second featuring the brutal killing of Robin II (Jason Todd) by the Joker. J.M. DeMatteis did the same with Spider-Man when he wrote "Fearful Symmetry/Kraven's Last Hunt"– a very dark piece of work mixing Freud, Blake and Dostoevsky showing an insane Kraven swallowing spiders, "killing" Spidey and burying him, then taking his costume and finally killing himself. Mike Grell gave us "The Longbow Hunters" and turned the freewheeling Green Arrow into a hunter going after the men who kidnapped and sexually tortured Black Canary – it was a work that was so brutal even some hardcore fans were turned off by it. Howard Chaykin did the same to the classic pulp-hero, "The Shadow" in a twisted, amoral, sexually-ambivalent miniseries. Now, the works mentioned above at least pretended to have literary qualities. The rest were very crappy imitations – all attitude, no substance. The early Image works (Deathblow, Bloodsport, and other comics with "Death" and "Blood" in the titles and within the pages) were representative of such cheap imitations. Along all the "Blood" and "Death" was an attempt to make comics "realistic"– that is, real world settings, real world crimes (rape, kidnap, drugs, money-laundering, etc.)

Incidentally, the ones who were most vocally complaining about the comics of the time were Frank Miller and Alan Moore. They were pissed off at the cheap imitations. Frank Miller lamented that the imitators did not understand the "romance", the heroic imaginations, the reworking of myths that he was putting into "The Dark Knight Returns". Alan Moore's "Watchmen" was more cynical but he was really working in all sorts of paneling tricks, storytelling gimmicks, Silver-Age homages, etc. (that he later used to great effect in "Supreme", "Tom Strong", etc.) In other words, Miller and Moore were craftsmen and the rest were hacks! Besides, Miller and Moore were writing the "fantastique"– the stories were all solidly set in the fantasy-world of the superhero-genre. They lamented that the hacks, in order to show forth the "attitude", the "machismo", the moodiness, the grim-and-gritty, had to set their stories in real-world settings. In short, this newfound "realism" wasn't something to be celebrated in the four-colour fantasies of the comicbook form. Alan Moore's tribute to the imaginations of Swartz, O'Neil, Swan, etc. came in the poignant final story of the "original" Superman–"Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow?". It was a last hurrah to the times when superhero comics were about bringing out the best in us, celebrating the best in our imaginations ("Look! Up In The Sky!"), and inspiring us to better things. The cover to the second issue in that story showed a teary-eyed Superman flying off and the DC editorial bidding him farewell. It was the end of an era.

The grim-and-gritty era reigned from 1986 to 1996. If you were a kid looking for heroes at that time, it's unlikely that you'll find them in the comic racks down at your grocery stores. But it was a time when kids were more interested in their Nintendos and Playstations anyway. The height of the grim-and-gritty era came when Superman was killed by Doomsday, Batman was crippled by Bane, Green Lantern went insane and slaughtered the entire GL Corps, Wonder Woman lost her mantle, Captain America became a werewolf, Wolverine/Ghost Rider/Punisher were featured in a gazillion books a month and Spawn was the number one comic in the world!

Interestingly, the "Batman" movies were the only things during this decade that really wasn't soooooo grim-and-gritty. Thanks to Tim Burton's fantasyworld Gotham and Joel Schumacher's camp, the "Batman" movies were, for lack of a better word, FUN! They harkened back to the spirit of the 1960s TV series and comics. True enough, Burton's vision was considered "dark" at that time but it was still colourful enough to be whimsical (of course, it was helped by Danny Elfman's soaring score). Paul Dini and Bruce Timm came along and gave us the perfect balance of fun mixed with modern sensibilities in their award-winning "Batman: The Animated Series" and later on, "Superman", "Justice League", etc. This in turn influenced the comicbooks. In 1996, Mark Waid and Alex Ross released "Kingdom Come"–a majestically awesome painted work that served as an indictment of what comics had become. At the end of the 4-issue work, the grim-and-gritty era in comics was over. Waid continued in his crusade for the warmth and imagination of the Silver Age by giving us "Flash" (teamed with the late Mike Wieringo) and "Justice League: A Midsummer's Nightmare" (this second one became the launchpad for Grant Morrison's much lauded "JLA" series). Around the same time, James Robinson's "Starman" series showed us that a modern comicbook can be sophisticated and fun without being grim-and-gritty or "realistic" (this later became the launchpad for the hugely successful and wonderfully nostalgic "JSA" series). Then there were the other visionaries like Jeff Smith (Bone), Mike Allred (Madman), Stan Sakai (Usagi Yojimbo), Mike Mignola (Hellboy), etc. who continued creating fun and imaginative tales every month.

The recent "Infinite Crisis" series by Geoff Johns and gang is another reexamination of the fun/imagination/inspiration versus realism/dark/grim-and-gritty debate. Waid/Ross did it with the older "Kingdom Come" Superman confronting the "Image/Marvel"-like heroes of the 1990s. Johns did it with the original Siegel/Shuster "Golden Age" Superman confronting the "current versions" of Superman/Batman/Wonder Woman that were born in 1986/87 (at the height of the "realism" drive). The end of the series showed the heroes going off on a soul-searching exile to discover once again what made them "good". Grant Morrison took over the "Batman" books after that and showed us a fun-loving, romantic Batman who is at peace with himself and the world – so much that he became a father (to Damian and Tim), a lover (to Jezebel), a son (to Alfred) and a friend (to the JLA/JSA folks). This is the current state of comicbooks. We've come a long way since “Showcase #4” introduced the Silver Age Flash. We've tried the grim-and-gritty and found it wanting.

Alas, the evolution of superhero-movies are at least 20-years behind that of their four-colour counterparts. We went from the brightly imaginative "Spider-Man I & II" to the morbidly dreary "Spider-Man III". Same thing with the "X-Men" movies. When the comic-reading world is long past the grim-and-grittiness of "The Dark Knight Returns" and "Watchmen" (gosh, those books were released 22 years ago), the movie-watching public is cheering for "The Dark Knight" film and the upcoming "Watchmen" film! To me, "The Dark Knight" represented the decade that was–1986 to 1996–as another bastardized hack of Miller/Moore. Was it realistic, with a real-world feel? It certainly was. Was it lacking in imagination? It certainly was. (Pick up any Sheldon Moldoff/Dick Sprang/Neal Adams/Frank Robbins/Marshall Rogers "Batman" to see what I mean!) Was it drearily dark? Amen. It couldn't even hold the attention of kids (and my kids are among the biggest Batman fans ever!). As for the plus points of the film–the complexity of the characterization, well, surprise-surprise, it's nothing that we've not seen a million times in the comic-books! We get the Joker-Batman confrontations every month in the books written by Alan Moore ("The Killing Joke"), Michael Green ("Lovers & Madmen"), Ed Brubaker ("The Man Who Laughs"), Chuck Dixon ("Joker's Last Laugh"), Grant Morrison ("Arkham Asylum"), Greg Rucka ("No Man's Land"), etc. It's nothing new to us comic readers but to movie-viewers this stuff is revolutionary. An epiphany even! Hahahaha! Maybe that's why I'm more thankful for recent gems like "Hellboy II"–a truly beautiful adaptation of a genuinely fun comicbook. Not so much for "The Dark Knight"–in my opinion, it represented everything that was wrong with comics in the past two decades and is now infecting the films. Warner Bros. just announced last week that they're rebooting the Superman franchise in a series of films that will be "darker"! See my point? Studio idiots (read: people who knows shit about the original material, namely, the comicbooks) now think that DARK = BOX OFFICE HIT because of the success of "The Dark Knight". I mentioned above that it was a decent enough movie – but that had more to do with the efforts of Chris Nolan and David Goyer in producing a complex character piece than simply because it was "dark"! So we'll be getting a "darker" Superman. Now, why am I not cheering? Perhaps, I'm recalling the tears in the eyes of that Superman drawn by Curt Swan in "Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow?".

[Postscript: Steven Grant was one of the grim-and-gritty writers of the 1980/90s. He was responsible for bringing the Punisher back into the limelight with his "Circle of Blood" and "Return To Big Nothing" graphic novels. But Grant is too smart to remain just a grim-and-gritty writer. He also writes Hardy Boys novels! He just wrote a piece on the "dark" Superman following Warner Bros' announcement. Go read it here and tell me what you think!]

WHEN IN DOUBT: BAMPF!

ELF: HAVING A GOOD TIME

BAMF!



JUMPER. The movie that Kurt really would like to star in.

(instead of the X loser franchkenchise. with all these halfway house high skool kids who thinks a moron for president is kool.)

Is it oktoberfest yet?

KURT. Elf. The blue cool dude with the pointy appendage. Yes, Nightcrawler. Seems like Germans are always around at Jeremiah. The bavarian dude was raving about THE teleporting movie of the year. BAMF! David Rice, Jumper, is what Kurt would really like to be. Living without consequences. Instead of being a blue skinned abomination. Instead of being denied by family. Instaed of being rejected by community. Instead of being hated for not having blond hair, blue eyes and white skin. For not being a republican. Kurt would rather be teleporting to Rome, London, New York. Even Wisma IOI, Puchong. Bamf!

So in the movie this kid realize he's a mutant. He can jump. whenever and wherever. even the school library. So he start jumping. Into a bank vault. Into a big surf. Into a bar. Now why is that not a bad thing? I mean after another goddam day laying kimchi on data surfaces of high density wafers - bamf! you are in Jeremiah. I mean after another day of hypnotising kids with your hippo belly dance and hisstory class - bamf! you are in Jeremiah. Get Bamf! It's the next cool.

So Anakin Skywalker/David Rice/Hayden Christensen did one bamf too many and were chased by ubercool Paladins. No, they did not asked for Skywalker Jumper to repent and stop writing articles with f-bampf. They didn't bother with anaemic threats by warning that they will get angry but will attempt not to sin. No. They. The ubercool Paladins. They just want to end the hell out of Jumpers. Their theolojee is reformed in a Rev Stryker kinda way. "only God/Godot should have the power to be at all places at all times." Did I tell you Samuel L Jackson looks ubercool as a paladin in silver afro? He looks cool. He also has a mean knife. They. The Paladins. Have been killing Jumpers since medieval times.The Paladins, religious fanatics, in Roman times, are like a court offcial passing out judicial sentences and were in charge of the records such developments. In this movie, they. The Paladins. They just use a mean knife to pass judicial sentences on Jumpers. Only God can bamf!

So the movie was a stinker. A rottten tomato top list. But Teleporters loved the dvd release to brimstone heaven. Bamf!

By now Kurt was not sober. Not a good thing. for a german.

I mean he was a priest. As a german he could be Lutheran. Scripted by american he's likely Calvinist. (But never Lutheran and Calvinist.) Actually he more a catholic. those quiet type who likes to sit in the shadows. Not argue too much or write long long sing a-long theses. Just quietly sit in the shadow. Remembering the time past. Remembering the cross.

Time was, Elf was just a regular bloke who likes nothing better than to drink pubs dry with Logan. Not necessarily in that order.

Time now, who cares.

bampf!

GET BAMPF! IT'S THE NEXT COOL.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

"Let The Good Times Roll...!?!"

Friday, September 5, 2008

Antoo Fighter - Unit Tindakan Bersepadu

Ini hari gua pergi join Pertubuhan Antoo Fighter Antarabangsa. Tak tentu pasal gua ni berasa amat kecewa terhadap gelagak-gelagak sesetengah orang yang suka buat perkara yang bukan-bukan. Gua amat kecewa terhadap diorang yang tidak ikhlas. Gua amat kecewa terhadap diorang yang suka bikin aksi-aksi seperti menyediakan perangkap untuk buat "testing". Tapi, at the same time, gua gelak-ketawa kerana orang bodoh ni sebenarnya buat hal untuk diri sendirinya. Hari tu dia ni hampir-hampir digigit seekor anjing gila kerana ingin menyeludupkan RM15!!! Semalam waktu pergi kerja, gua dengar radio ai-fm. DJ tu tengah membicarakan tentang hal sorang gila yang tak ingin nak cakap "sorry" lepas cakap manyak tentang hal "pendatang". Gua sekali lagi gelak ketawa. Ada juga perbincangan pasal meng-edit-kan buku teks sejarah tingkatan empat sebab ada unsur-unsur yang mungkin menjejaskan relationship di antara kaum. Hahahahaha! Ini memang dunia yang gila. Ataupun macam Garth Ennis cakap - kitorang semua duduk dalam dunia-pantat! Apa boleh buat? Tak suka duduk di satu tempat, kita lari ke tempat yang lain. Itulah sebabnya, gua ni selalu berpindah-randah. :)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Pentaksub Karate: The Return

Pentaksub Karate:

"Semalam gua sudah berdoa lama-lama dan pikir masak-masak. Ini macam mau continue memang susah-lah! Jadi gua ini hari buat keputusan muktamad untuk tak-continue-kannya. Tadi gua keluar makan kambing dan ayam dengan sorang kawan. Kitorang pun berbincang dan bersembang sambil makan kambing dan ayam. Lepas tu, kitorang pun buat keputusan ini macam mau continue memang susah-lah! Jadi kitorang pun decide lagi baik tak-continue-kannya. Tapi kena ada planning sikit dulu. Ini kali kena bikin best-best baru boleh. Sebab tak tentu pasal nanti orang cakap kitorang ni semua "pendatang" dan bukan insan tanahair yang jati. Itu pasal hal politik manyak cerita-lah. Gua pun tak nak cakap manyak. Gua ni tengah frus sebab ada orang yang manyak free jadi diorang cari hal tak habis-habis. Jadi kitorang pikir memang susah nak continue-lah. Itu pasal sambil makan kambing dan ayam, kitorang pun sudah buat keputusan muktamad untuk tak-continue-kannya. Lagipun, gua sudahpun berdoa lama-lama dan pikir masak-masak..."

[* Some people say I'm a BM teacher. Sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I don't.]

Monday, September 1, 2008

Housekeeping

Decided to do some housekeeping for Jeremiah Blues today. I just found out that the Irishmen and pseudo-Irishmen at Jeremiah's do not read Chinese at all. Hence, I've decided to move all the Chinese posts over to 国民闲谈. My Chinese writings are worse than my English ones (if that is at all possible). Putting up my posts in Chinese is my way of practicing my written-Chinese. Writing in Chinese forces me to "think" in Chinese - hence the subject matter of what I write about differs greatly from the usual crap (by the usual gang of idiots) here at Jeremiah's. It's only appropriate that they be moved to a different blog altogether.

I was on holiday for the past five days, during which I travelled, read, ate, slept, shat, slept some more, read some more, ate some more and shat some more. It was a much needed rest. My mind was more active than ever. I spent a lot of time in the company of a few Chinese bastards who taught me about history, philosophy, love, tea and lots of other crap. They did not speak in sound-bites. They avoided politics altogether. They talked about gender wars, joked about roast-ducks and venereal diseases, and drank tea like their lives (whatever was left of them) depended on it.

Back to work today. Having coffee in Starbucks at Mont Kiara. Three Japanese tai-tais sitting in front of me. Collectively, they must be worth more than 10 million bucks. One of them is a hot MILF. I'm staring at her now but she's too busy talking to notice me. Behind me, two business-looking blokes are discussing some multi-million dollar construction projects. Their mobile phones are ringing and ringing and ringing. They are too busy to notice the hot Japanese MILF. Their loss. I'm staring at the hot MILF now while her friend is lifting up one arm to explain some armpit infection. One old angmoh uncle is sitting at the corner. He's busy fiddling with his notebook but I caught him staring at the hot Japanese MILF a couple of times as well.

HIPPO & LA TEY

After the exposure, the bartender decide to come clean on his past.
This is a one night stand at Jeremiah. One night only.
Bartender/Punisher/Hippo will be doing vocals.
Minority dance by La Tey after nip&tuck. He's a liberated hounddog.
One night only.



If you are still standing this is the encore version.
Only for the Madripoor die-hards.



Life in Madripoor. It can only get better.

EXPOSED: THE BARTENDER AS A HIPPO AS A BALLERINA

Video yang akan disiarkan mengandungi unsur-unsur theoloji. Tidak sesuai untuk tontoni ahli-ahli politik nusantara. Amaran: Mungkin menpengaruhi sikap moral dan rohani. Yang telah di nasihat tetapi sial terus menonton, pergilah mampus!




* finally, the hippo porno that was allured to involving the part-time bartender in the punisher tee. Viewer discretion uneccessary. 3D glasses strongly encouraged. Hand gloves optional.

IDIOTS OF C4

I am still at Jeremiah. The yahoos are screening their fav C4 movie.
I am laughing my guts out. and dying to see more.
It's going to be a long day at Madripoor.




** This clip was conducted by PROFESSIONALS and should not be attempted by politicians.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

MADRIPOOR MOVIE NIGHT: BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!



Courtesy of the STAR,
Madripoor got educated yesterday.
Imagine sitting in on a history in the making.
The voice of the rakyat matters!
Wow.
Lucky for us we are stuck in Madripoor.
Lucky for us we READ our history.
In 1987, Kampung Baru, a "show of force"
was demonstrated to the rakyat.
The voice of the rakyat matters?

History will only teach those who learnt their lesson.


** I got C4 for History.

THE SOUNDBITE GENERATION

The end of the species is near. Folks actually believe other folks who write about what other folks does, did, did not or will do. Folks actually read every lines from some other folks who writes about folks making statutory declaration. Folks actually follow every oaths that is taken by folks who respond to oaths made by some more other folks. Folks will read every new lines from some folks now that some folks have their lines interrupted. These same folks will continue dishing out lines to the other folks who will post them same lines to others who write about what other folks does, did, did not or will do. These same folks believe some folks are history. These same folks also believe some folks will make history.


a song for folks who gets excited with every soundbite

Gonna lose my way tomorrow,
gonna give away my car.
I'd take you along with me,
but you would not go so far.
Don't see what I do not want to see,
you don't hear what I don't say.
Won't be what I don't want to be,
I continue in my way.

Don't see, see, see where I'm goin',
Don't see, see, see where I'm goin',
Don't see, see, see where I'm goin' to,
I don't want to.

Everyday I see the mornin' come on in the same old way.
I tell myself tomorrow brings me things I would not dream today.

DON'T BELIEVE THE LIE

ANOTHER DAY: ANOTHER LONG SONG




When youre falling awake and you take stock of the new day,
And you hear your voice croak as you choke on what you need to say,
Well, dont you fret, dont you fear,
I will give you good cheer.

Lifes a long song.
Lifes a long song.
Lifes a long song.

If you wait then your plate I will fill.

As the verses unfold and your soul suffers the long day,
And the twelve oclock gloom spins the room,
You struggle on your way.
Well, dont you sigh, dont you cry,
Lick the dust from your eye.

Lifes a long song.
Lifes a long song.
Lifes a long song.

We will meet in the sweet light of dawn.

As the baker street train spills your pain all over your new dress,
And the symphony sounds underground put you under duress,
Well dont you squeal as the heel grinds you under the wheel.

Lifes a long song.
Lifes a long song.
Lifes a long song.

But the tune ends too soon for us all.

DAVID GILMOUR: TEARING DOWN WALLS



Time was David Gilmour was building Walls with Pink Floyd.
This is Gilmour solo.
If I have a life to live again,
I want to grow up playing guitar.
Like Gilmour.

THINK ABOUT IT


STOP

DANNY KIRWAN & PETER GREEN: BLUES AT JEREMIAH




The song that felled the yahoos at Madripoor.
Slow burn guitar that tears a hole though any heart that beats.
Even Wolvie.
It's past closing hours.
Nobody cares.
This is the blues.
This is needed.
The world can stop for a while.

PETER GREEN AT JEREMIAH 2



This song has been on heavy rotation at Jeremiah. Even the yahoos sat down when this song