JUMPER. The movie that Kurt really would like to star in.
(instead of the X loser franchkenchise. with all these halfway house high skool kids who thinks a moron for president is kool.)
Is it oktoberfest yet?
KURT. Elf. The blue cool dude with the pointy appendage. Yes, Nightcrawler. Seems like Germans are always around at Jeremiah. The bavarian dude was raving about THE teleporting movie of the year. BAMF! David Rice, Jumper, is what Kurt would really like to be. Living without consequences. Instead of being a blue skinned abomination. Instead of being denied by family. Instaed of being rejected by community. Instead of being hated for not having blond hair, blue eyes and white skin. For not being a republican. Kurt would rather be teleporting to Rome, London, New York. Even Wisma IOI, Puchong. Bamf!
So in the movie this kid realize he's a mutant. He can jump. whenever and wherever. even the school library. So he start jumping. Into a bank vault. Into a big surf. Into a bar. Now why is that not a bad thing? I mean after another goddam day laying kimchi on data surfaces of high density wafers - bamf! you are in Jeremiah. I mean after another day of hypnotising kids with your hippo belly dance and hisstory class - bamf! you are in Jeremiah. Get Bamf! It's the next cool.
So Anakin Skywalker/David Rice/Hayden Christensen did one bamf too many and were chased by ubercool Paladins. No, they did not asked for Skywalker Jumper to repent and stop writing articles with f-bampf. They didn't bother with anaemic threats by warning that they will get angry but will attempt not to sin. No. They. The ubercool Paladins. They just want to end the hell out of Jumpers. Their theolojee is reformed in a Rev Stryker kinda way. "only God/Godot should have the power to be at all places at all times." Did I tell you Samuel L Jackson looks ubercool as a paladin in silver afro? He looks cool. He also has a mean knife. They. The Paladins. Have been killing Jumpers since medieval times.The Paladins, religious fanatics, in Roman times, are like a court offcial passing out judicial sentences and were in charge of the records such developments. In this movie, they. The Paladins. They just use a mean knife to pass judicial sentences on Jumpers. Only God can bamf!
So the movie was a stinker. A rottten tomato top list. But Teleporters loved the dvd release to brimstone heaven. Bamf!
By now Kurt was not sober. Not a good thing. for a german.
I mean he was a priest. As a german he could be Lutheran. Scripted by american he's likely Calvinist. (But never Lutheran and Calvinist.) Actually he more a catholic. those quiet type who likes to sit in the shadows. Not argue too much or write long long sing a-long theses. Just quietly sit in the shadow. Remembering the time past. Remembering the cross.
Time was, Elf was just a regular bloke who likes nothing better than to drink pubs dry with Logan. Not necessarily in that order.Time now, who cares.
GET BAMPF! IT'S THE NEXT COOL.