Sunday, May 11, 2008

Dancing With Dormammu

Act One, Scene One:
La Tey arrived at The Summit.
We exchanged Bendis-Salvatore-Kirby books.
We talked about the social gospel and how the only thing "emerging" about me is my belly.
Then La Tey fell asleep and I continued talking to my youngest sister.

Act One, Scene Two:
Screwtape and La Tey discussed the limitations of our financial resources.
Screwtape and La Tey visited the King of Tea.
He's disguised as a kindly old man but his posture and "chi" betrayed his true identity.
Once upon a time, this was the man who brought the Pugilistic World to its knees.
He was the King of Tea. Some said coffee too.
We had potato balls and century egg balls.
King of Tea made his special concoction called "Teh Peng".
Screwtape and La Tey then climbed a small hill up to a library called Wisdom.
Tillich and Rauschenbusch were both there.
Hans Küng came along and complained about how fundies (especially the SIN sort) are short-circuiting his noble aspirations to make friends with people around the world.
The fundies love certainty and measurable predictability too much. They disliked any hint of fuzziness (unless it's the fuzziness of the human face of their gawd).

Act One, Scene Three:
Screwtape and La Tey in the Japanese bookshop.
A Little Taffer joined us. He was searching for a gamma-irradiated monster.
La Tey was searching for the biggest secret.
They both found what they were looking for.
The trio then proceeded to visit the Dome.
More insanity ensued.

Act One, Scene Four:
A Little Taffer went off after the Dome.
He went off to discover the planet Sakaar.
La Tey was interested in the Library of Alexandria.
Screwtape took him there and it was a forest of learning.
Screwtape showed him the journals of catholic studies.
La Tey started reading the bilingual canon of the ancient deities.
After several thousand hours there, Screwtape and La Tey found the forbidden SB Archives.
We grabbed an SB recording and went for "lok-lok".
La Tey found Tibet and meditated on nihilism.
Screwtape was more interested in the tantric sex.
Spent the night with the best of Chu Yuan from the forbidden SB Archives.

Act Two, Scene One:
Screwtape introduced La Tey to the giant tower roti-tisu.
After that, Screwtape and La Tey went off for coffee with Icke and Chopra.
Icke was talking about secret societies and the Caucasus Mountains.
Chopra was trying to convince us of the coolness of the hindoo deities.
A Little Taffer mysteriously reappeared and joined us for coffee.
Screwtape introduced him to Icke.
Icke proceeded to take him through the masks of political double-talk.
La Tey then found this ridiculous fiction-book about some stupid preacher and the presidents of the U. S. of A. This stupid preacher was known by Icke also. He's believed to be from the Frank family of Satanists. Fundies also disliked him but that doesn't stop them from preaching the same thing that he preaches.

Act Two, Scene Two:
La Tey left for the Land of SIN.
A Little Taffer took a train.
Screwtape went off to look for a movie made by the Dread Dormammu.
No other way to explain why it turned out to be the worst movie ever made - 2012 Doomsday.
Screwtape's kids were getting impatient with the movie.
Even fundies wouldn't really like the movie although they think in pretty much the same terms.
"Everything happens for a reason..."
"Yes, my legs are frozen..."
"You gotta get out of the West Coast and to the Mayan Pyramid of Chickens."
"But I'm dying..."
"Well, everything happens for a reason..."
"Do you believe in the Rapture? Because I think that's what just happened to my mum!"
"Well, I think if there's a Rapture, then there's a Rapture. We're left behind but then it's ok. After all, everything happens for a reason. We may not be able to explain it but we have to believe that everything happens for a reason."
"Of course. That's why I'm ignoring the cries of the woman in labour in the back seat and rushing to the Pyramid of Chickens..."
"Ahhhh! I just got hit by a hail storm. My heart is gone."
"Quick, pray the sinner's prayer to make sure you go to heaven."
"Just pray the sinner's prayer. Everything happens for a reason."
"But I'm going into labour now. Can I give birth to the baby now?"
"No. Let the driver pray the sinner's prayer first. Then, after he dies, we can throw him out of the car and proceed to the Pyramid of Chickens. You gotta give birth to your child there so that I can pray another evangelically-inspired prayer there to postpone the Apocalypse... After all, everything happens for a reason..."

* This is the trailer to the greatest Christian movie ever made: 2012 Doomsday. I finally found something that's way scarier than the actual doomsday - a Christian film about the doomsday! :-)

** This, on the other hand, is a treasure from the Forbidden SB Archives. Clans of Intrigue: The best of the Chu Yuan/Gu Long collaborations.

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