Monday, May 12, 2008


The moment comes when a widespread enthusiasm is capable of revolutionising an epoch
-Le Corbusier
INTRODUCTION: While a few yahoos were snorting tea and smoking potatos in KUL, I was in... China. (Can you believe such a retcon!!! )(He has mutated into a rat) (no, its a con...) (...its the end of the world) (Time ago they faught because of such an intro.) (Time now, who stopping me?) Like I said as the yahoos were baiting Godzilla with a naked engineer running with his lok-lok hanging loose, I was in China.

HOW THE HELL IT HAPPEN: I caught 1 hour of autumn/spring period Wu vs Yue Kingdom. Normal days I wouldn't care. But things are never what it seems here. A study of 2 kings and their advisors. No distraction of any sort from so and so maiden figure. Just old men and older men talking the blues. There this white haired merlin looking dude who was advisor to the Wu king who looks like that other white haired dude in Lords of the Rings. The rest just look chinese.
So starting from nowhere I saw this Yue king in the docks with his goons and ex-advisors also in the docks. Then I saw this Wu king and his northern expansion plans and how by not listening to the above mentioned white haired dude, he almost got skewered. Then he got saved by the dude. Dude took an arrow for him. Survived. Then the Wu king decide to humiliate the Yue king, still in the docks. And how the Wu king was surrounded by inferior advisers....
3 hours later I was buying the entire box set. Now starting from the beginning, the king of Yue was in session with his bunch of yahoos on whether to take action. It was a long intro on the art of talking about action. In the meanwhile this Yue king's sister was shooting the early express back to Yue (not unlike La tey shooting the midnight to KUL) from far away Wu. With some insistent filmatography it was made clear she was taking an unathorized coach. (almost like Fats when he was in Ipoh shooting to Kul) So Yue king with much regal talk and royal chatter ask for the great general, another long white hair dude with a neater hairstyle. This white hair dude was put the question on whether to intercept the exspress unauthorized coach from Wu carrying the talkative Yue king's sister. A very long intro...
I was hooked.
Moi?! Yes, not being able to read a single bastard word of chinese subtitle. Being totally tone-deaf to the imperial chinese being spoken in long stretch sentences. (Not unlike how fats & La tey like to converse...) Having zero idea of any history as to what is who or where is when in the autumn/spring period. Yes, hooked.
I think that is a much better way to spend a weekend than chasing Godzilla naked with your lok-lok hanging.
So having watch the middle and halfway throught the intro, I am thinking how unlike certain existence where there's much talk and fast forward to a future past there's a king in chains. So much for a retcon beginning.
Don't bet your hairy balls this sunnavabeech will give a crap when the day's done. The last time he tried to read Chuang Tzu, Mo Tzu and Tzu Pak Chieh - he was kidnapped to Chongqing and had his nuts chili-oil dipped, not unlike lok-lok.
I re-opened my Pandora Box:

I just re-read all the Fabian Nicieza, Larry Hama, Dan Abnett, Mark Texiera, Mark McKo, Gary Frank, Frank Teran... Sabretooth. I have no idea why fan boys like to name check all the writers and artists/pencillers/colorist whenever they talk about comics they read. Perhaps its an appendage thing, a male thingy. Fats have mastered the art of this appendage thingy with his many in-depth reviews. Perhaps thats why certain southerners suspect him of being a pro-male activist. Whatever that means. Long as he's happy.

Where was I?

Sabretooth. There was blood. Much blood.

Time was, Sabretooth kills. So did the art. Some of the dudes in the list made Creed looks homicidal and psychotic just by drawing him licking his claws. Time was, one frame of Sabretooth mugshot would send mommy boys under sheets. Texiera drew Sabretooth in the chest bursting glory of Liefeld school of anatomy. Heck, Wolvie looks like fats chewing lok-lok compared to this shit!

13th May 2008: I bought comics again(!) 200 years after Sinister became an Engineer at Samsung and Apocalypse became a book-sller.

A new series on Sabretooth. Well, not new but news to me. Anyway, Sabretooth.

Did I say blood? There was blood. Much blood. (If only comics were reviewed like this instead of all the group orgy in name checking and stroy arc-ing and cross-pollination-of-character-redefinition-because-a-stupid-witch-forgot-her-tampons and ate lok-lok in the nude - sheeesh!)

So this here Sabretooth have Dan Joley and Greg Scot and I noticed they don't have Richard Starkings & Comicraft on the letters anymore. I supose that is suppose to sound important. But let's leave it to the fan boys to indulge in this piece of wiki knowledge. Anyway, Sabretooth. the new series.

The 4-part.

First, Sabretooth lost weight.

Second, he looks as ferocious as a Chow Kit yahoo.

Third, where the hell is Mark Texiera?

Fourth, Sabretooth as a TV series? That's what this here damn comic try to be.

That's it.No more retcon crap!

Where there's a Sabretooth, there's a Logan. I thought I stuck lottery with this find! Sam Kieth's Wolverine!!! Make mine Superior comic craft any day fat boy! The same bastich who did all the cool kyphotic postural coolness on LOBO did the same treatment on the runt and actually make the berserker gorgeous! (If only all reviews were like this instead of arc this and arc that...) Wolvie with a Madripoor tale and laugh out loud lines by Peter David between the warlords:

Tyger:A gang war would be most unfortunate.

Coy: Certainly for you.

Tyger: Even more so for you. If we war, you will lose so many men, and then the crowning indignation of being defeated by a woman...

Coy: You are that confident Tyger?

Tyger: You are that stupid General Coy.

Coy: I am not that stupid.

Tyger: Forgive me. Perhaps you are marginally less stupid than that.

Coy: That's better.

Time was, there was Superior comicscraft.

EPILOGUE: Pltypus last heard nodding to Warren Ellis at Starbucks, "We all enter comics on our own. Moving into the fictional world of graphic novel is not a group pursuit. It is the act of one reader, with one copy of one comic. We all come in alone.", listening to Running Free (Iron Maiden) and hitting for the man with the red strat. Word has it he found X-Factor Flashback, "A Summers Tale". Finally the origin of Havok!

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