Sunday, June 1, 2008

Micro-Geniuses At Work

La Tey was in KUL for the weekend. Aside from the usual inquiries into the canonicity of Biblical books, the Enochian tradition behind the Bar Enasha (Son of Man) honorifics in the Gospels, the ongoing conspiracy theories of the Illuminati Brotherhood, the endless quest for freedom of speech (La Tey met the infamous Larry Flynt and became a convert), we discussed the crises of our youthful days in Secondary School: when deciding to organize a gang-bang in Jay-Bee and/or finding the power-socket to connect the Micro-Genius Game Console were the primary preoccupations of several members of a secret society called The SS (note: due to concerns for general decency, we will not disclose what the initials meant but rest assured that it had nothing to do with the Nazi Party or Hitler). One of the founding members of The SS got married yesterday and La Tey was invited. He had the honour of discussing the other exploits of The SS with another founding member, a self-professed Catholic boy that I have not met since 1993 (thankfully). La Tey is today the sole-member of an underground group called The SSS (Simon Smuggling Services) and his services have lately been employed by the infamous Pltypus in order to secure a forbidden gonzo-recording from yours truly. Specific instructions were given to La Tey regarding the severance package and how to hide it within specific body orifices to prevent detection by custom-officers. Pltypus is chiefly preoccupied with the hygenic concerns behind such an activity and cautioned us to proceed with the utmost care. As is the rule (regarding matters of such privacy), we will not disclose in detail how we flaunted conventions in order to ensure the safe (though not necessarily sanitary) manner of the delivery of said package into the gloved-hands of Pltypus. To simplify the whole story, let me just explain that the following instruments were used (see illustration below) with the utmost care and precise motor-skills that I am well-known for:

While we were performing the excruciating operation (all in the name of Science, mind you), a particular voice was heard from the Fourth Dimension: "You must choose a side... You must choose a side... You must choose a side...". It was horrifying. I thought that I was losing my mind. La Tey was hurrying me but that disembodied voice continued its baleful chant: "You must choose a side... You must choose a side... You must choose a side...". What was I to do? I was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place (if you must know). La Tey's sensitive ears were able to detect the source of that voice. "It's coming from Germany... There's no mistaking the Lutheran tinge in her voice!", La Tey screamed while lying flat on the operation table. I refuse to be distracted by that unholy chant and proceeded with my delicate operation. All in the name of Science (and for the furtherance of Pltypus' artistic developments). La Tey was relieved (in more ways than one) that the package was delivered into the waiting hands (gloved, as well) of Pltypus. What can I say? I'm at least thankful that Pltypus did not request the Boxed-Set DVDs for all 10-Seasons of "Friends"!!! La Tey suggested that we look for the source of the German voice and use her as our "carrier" the next time. Seeing the wisdom in his words, I heartily agreed. "Either her or the Reformanda prick from SIN! With the Reformanda, I'll even throw in my Led Zeppelin Boxed Set, my Bettie Page posters, the complete works of St. Augustine and the Amazing Spider-Man Omnibus!" But that's nothing really. When the members of The SS were all in Form 2, we were known to carry Micro-Genius Consoles within our bodies all the way to Jay-Bee to take part in a gang-bang involving Catholic boys, tubes of Bat-Lube, AC/DC three-way plugs and mutated-mutha trying to pass off as sweet sixteen year olds in the Holiday Plaza disco. One time, a dog came along. I hid in the video arcades until the whole thing was over. The Christine Keeler-Profumo tapes were bursting my guts and I walked around like a 14-year old hernia patient. Asia Argento walked past and said something about "Boarding Gate". I trembled and dropped my package there and then. La Tey wasn't with us then. He was a good boy reading sci-fi novels and R. A. Torrey books while going to JYF. That was 1989-90. Pltypus (then known as Icarus) was still planning his exit from an evil organizating targetting the impressionable minds in campuses from Jakarta to Manila. But he was getting restless and started planning his exit and how he was going to hide those fascimile editions of the "Treasury of David" within his (then-)virginal body. Legends abound concerning the role that a mysterious Stephen Daedalus played in his deflowering (scholars are still debating whether the "flights of fancy" of Daedalus and Icarus in Ovid's account are to be taken literally or like all Western literature, was really about sex!). Last I heard this story was from the Cendol-Man at Jalan Engan in Bee-Pee. For some unexplained reasons, the Cendol-Man upgraded his small stall into a large shop recently (was he bribed? threatened, maybe? hmmm... Screwtape smells a conspiracy... among other things...) Here we are now in 2008, alternating between Sting's "Jeremiah Blues", classics from Rock Nusantara, books featuring Pentaksub Karate, some revisionist theology/history, mucking it up with SIN fundies and largely having the time of our lives...

Living it up in KUL. Smile... :)

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

淫贱的民族

- Kaninabu

Cikgu Screwtape said...

Latest update: The SS member that La Tey met up with is now working for the Trade and Commerce divisions in the local government. He's into *control measures* for DVD piracy and MLM activities! Unbelievable? Believe it! [Wonder whether the government knows anything about his involvement with The SS during his youth...]. Hahahahahaha!

~ Edmund

Anonymous said...

Hey Kaninabu,

FUCK OFF.

- Kinky Kelly

Anonymous said...

"At least I have chosen a side!"

- Ororo

Anonymous said...

Yeah, right! You've just cast your votes in with this 淫贱的民族

- Kaninabu

Anonymous said...

Yeah, right! You've just cast your votes in with this 淫贱的民族

- Kaninabu

Anonymous said...

Pray tell, what is so 淫贱 about this 民族?

- Albert Chua

Anonymous said...

淫贱? Me like! :)

- Lim Geok Seng

Brigitte said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5P7QkHCfaI

Take a stand, men! And maybe not anonymously and in foreign languages. Someone asked: How do you know you are right about what you believe (before things got rude).

I think it starts with learning about yourself in relation to teachings. It is a kind of quest. It takes time and work and a willingness to learn. Someone has called it the "school of experience".

Cikgu Screwtape said...

I think it starts with learning about yourself in relation to teachings. It is a kind of quest. It takes time and work and a willingness to learn. Someone has called it the "school of experience".

Precisely why I'm not taking any "sides" or "stands". :)

~ Edmund

Brigitte said...

So what have you learned so far?

Cikgu Screwtape said...

Haven't you been paying attention?

~ Edmund

Anonymous said...

I saw Luther yesterday. He's on sale. And he's on an armchair. Looks like he has learnt to be commercial.

(Read: Luther for Armchair Theologian, available at Borders)

Pablo

ACE68 said...

Last heard you were still setting up school?

Anonymous said...

School for the kids, care to donate aceboy? I am doing Gogarten with Meng.

Pablo

ACE68 said...

Meng? He's with you?

Hey Mundo, Some folks never learn. Loco here is attempting to brain freeze our PHD with his socialism and Gogarten! Ha ha ha!

Anonymous said...

Hey aceboy, Meng is in good hands. I am a man of learning after all! ha ha ha! Poor Mundo, all he got is a lutheran! Hahahahaha!

Pablo

(Hey missy Bridgette, leave the fat boy alone. I am the one you should talk to. Care to donate your US$ to my school for kids in Bolivia?)

ACE68 said...

Ah Pablo! U are shameless.