Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Tam-Bing-Man Era

hai adik-adik. i am the tam-bing-man. in my time, i was the most sought after entertainer in the music and film industry. you may have seen me in old tv serials or concert broadcasts singing old favourites like "dream of an old romance" (gow foon yu mong) and other such shit. in my time, i was da bomb, man. this babe next to me is the legendary lee heung kam. she's the lady that everyone hated because she was always playing villainess roles. she's kinda like the female "shek-kin", if you know what i mean. this hot mama was the beyonce knowles of her time, man. and she was even more of a piece of hot ass than beyonce. times were simpler then. we sang about the fall of dynasties when we were trying to look serious. when we were having fun, we sang about girls chasing guys and guys chasing other girls. sometimes we also sing about other day-to-day stuff like saving up to buy a benz, gambling tips, striking the lottery, traffic problems in hong kong and other trivial shit. time was, petrol was dirt cheap so anyone of us who could afford a car could drive down to the local cafeteria to pick up chicks. even better if you're like me - gifted with a golden voice to belt out the hits of the day (never mind that i look like a real-life porky). i was the original leisure-suit larry long before guys like david hasselhoff came along. we were gods and goddesses in our time. alas, that time is long gone.....

1 comment:

Cikgu Screwtape said...

I hope some clean-living, diaper-changing idiot mistake this post for a tribute to Hong Kong. It's a tribute, all right. But not the way you think. Hong Kong is the second effing alchemickal-city and Tam Bing Man knew it. Even Lee Heung Kam knew it. Even that taxi-driver in "Taxi Nightmare" knew it (and he vomitted all over the place with the realization of it).

2005-2007. I was with the Hong Kong Bank. The middle of the satanick-banking system sucking the world dry. Every customer had a 666 tag. Every caller was marked. It was the financial hub of off-shore drug accounts.

Hong Kong is not the place for people who grow up reading Tintin and Asterix. Or perhaps it is? Easier to manipulate that way. Hong Kong is for people who've taken the Red Pill (or is it the Blue Pill)? Hong Kong is the city that wasn't built so much as it was stolen from the grips of the Chinese government and turned into the drug-hub for the Brotherhood funded triads. Hong Kong is where da bomb must fall next (after London).

~ Edmund