Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Clues On The Mysterious Letter (From The Arkansas Assholes)

In order to decipher the contents of the mysterious letter, I headed down to Moloch's Chapel once again. Thankfully, Kevin (not the same Khonshu Kevin) and Jason were standing at the spot where they stood every single day at this hour. I was told that Kevin and Jason were prophets. They had some weird "epiphany" thingy and started talking about all sorts of end-of-the-world shit.

Kevin took a look at the mysterious poem and sighed - "You falling for this video game shit?"

I didn't understand him - "What do you mean?"

"They used to send this shit out all the time. Lotsa folks got this in their e-mail?" - Jason explained.

"Who sent them out?" - I asked.

"Nobody knows. Best guess is some weird-shit video-game company. People believed that this poem was sent out to promote some dark, gothic video-game that was all the rage coupla years back..." - Kevin explained.

"But why was it sent to me along with all this shit on Nazi occultism and this weird photo?" - I asked again.

"Nobody knows. Best guess is someone is playing a trick on you. Anyway, if you look at the poem carefully, you'll note that every line there is an anagram for 'DARK DAYS ARE COMING'!!!" - Kevin's explanation doesn't give me much comfort.

"Let me see the poem again. I read it aloud: 'A grim, odd arcane sky - Any god, I mark sacred. A masked cry adoring - A dreamy, sick dragon.' Hey, you're right! It does say 'DARK DAYS ARE COMING'!!!" - I exclaimed.

"No it doesn't! It says 'DARK DEMONS CRY GAIA'!!! Everyone knows that!" - Jason interjected.

"Are we having this conversation again? 'DARK DEMONS CRY GAIA' doesn't make any sense at all. 'DARK DAYS ARE COMING' sounds all dark and prophetic. Besides, the numbers "2012" are clearly shown on the paper denoting the Mayan end of the age." - Kevin explained.

"Actually I still think that it says 'DARK DEMONS CRY GAIA' because of the Hebrew letters on the paper. בני האלהים is Hebrew for 'Sons of God', as in those sexual predators from Genesis 6 who impregnated those 'Daughters of Men' uber-babes? Doctor Aw used to teach that the offsprings were demons who were trapped on earth. So, earth = gaia, hence 'DARK DEMONS CRY GAIA'!" - Jason retorted, obviously pleased with himself.

"Not really. You see the whole thing is about the Illuminati. The Spanish words on the paper, 'de que manera estan involucrados los illuminati' translates as 'HOW DOES THIS INVOLVE THE ILLUMINATI', you see? And note the German line: 'Etwas über einen "Krieg der Finsternis"'. That translates as 'SOMETHING OVER A "WAR OF DARKNESS"' - that's another clue supporting the 'Dark Days' theory..." - Kevin explained.

I must've looked positively puzzled already. I took the paper back from the 'prophets', thanked them for their explanations and made my exit. Why would someone send me a piece of paper about dark demons or dark ages? Someone is trying to tell me something. It's got something to do with Nazi occultism, that's for sure. But what? Even more importantly, why am I involving myself in all this? Why am I even here in Arkansas? The sex with Dalia was great. The colourful folks I've met were great. But I still need to look for the cat to find a way home...