The Real Truth About Masturbation

Some SIN bastards actually think that I'm a porn-addict. Truth be told, porn is probably number 62 in my list of favourite things. I much prefer chicken and monkey jokes (or even knock-knock jokes) compared to porn. I much prefer writing entries to tear down the pretentious morality of SIN fundamentalists compared to porn. I much prefer a good comic, a good chat and a good music CD compared to porn. And mind you, I'm talking about real porn here. The sort that stars Racquel Darrian, Vanessa Lane and Tera Patrick. SIN idiots think that I'm into pseudo-porn (like they're into pseudo-theology) such as Playboy and Penthouse. My friends, that sort of porn insults you (almost as insulting as confusing Onanism with the joys of masturbation - but then, church people are famous for such things - they also confused the Nazi Conspiracy with the Homosexual Agenda and get all frightened over it). On a good day, I find porn laughable - just as I find martial-arts movies and wrestling laughable. No, I don't find porn offensive. I find SIN fundamentalists who take a moral high-ground against organ-donation while bullying sweet girls named "Michelle" (refer to this entry) to be extremely offensive. In fact, I find it offensive when this Illuminati Spokesman make statements like this to be extremely offensive: "The argument that money received helps the seller/donor to rise above his poverty is gravely flawed. It must be the duty of a civilized society to ensure that none of her citizens are in such a dire state of poverty that the poor have to be reduced to selling themselves piecemeal for survival." (Especially when this same Illuminati Spokesman is a huge supporter of Brotherhood Organizations that bleed the world and create poverty such as the International Monetary Fund). The problem with our times is that we do not know what to be outraged by anymore. Like the rest of the robots doctored by society, we are so easily affected by "sins" of a sexual nature while ignoring real sins. Someone is filmed having sex with a woman (not his wife) in a hotel room? He's thrown out of politics - even though the real issue is that people plotted against him to remove him because he was a good leader. Someone is accused of sodomy? Police arrest him at his home by sending out special forces. Someone else is accused of murder and military-conspiracy? Nothing is done (in fact, the accusers are facing legal charges for defamation!). Easiest way to destroy someone's character is to appeal to the public fear of sex. I like sex in every shape, colour and flavour. There. I said it. What happens behind closed doors between consenting adults is their own business - and no one else's! It's another thing to continue feeding this irrational fear of sex. Hypocrisy is a lot more harmful to society (refer to any of Vincent Chia's pontificating entries to see what I mean). Anathemizing half of Singapore and writing *boring* entries on meta-definition theology while being tragically-serious at it is a lot more harmful to one's well-being than drooling over the Brunette Goddess of Porn, Racquel Darrian (refer to any of Daniel Chew's terribly boring meditations to see what I mean). What makes these folks far worse than pornstars is that they are terribly unnatural. The only unnatural thing about pornstars are the silicon-enhanced boobs. When it comes to folks like the aforementioned SIN fundamentalists, everything about them is unnatural: from their handbook-enhanced no-brains to their non-functioning dicks (they masturbate by stroking their egos - while playing voyeur at other people's blogs!). Beware, my friends, of people who are so cocksure about what is right and wrong, who are constantly defining God in their own tiny terms and labelling people as LGBTs, ex-Christians, heretics, etc. This, my friend, is the ugliness of religious bigotry and moral-hypocrisies. Even worse than all that is their utter inability to cultivate the least bit of humour. Try it sometimes. It won't kill you (at least not as fast as ego-masturbation does...)